Author Topic: Puppet Wept (Herr Kaspar)  (Read 628 times)

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Re: Puppet Wept (Herr Kaspar)
« on: December 21, 2018, 08:40:13 am »


Do you know why I like the image of this Gollum creature?

Some speculate that Beowulf's Grendel could have been an inspiration for Gollum due to the many parallels between them – such as their affinity for water, their isolation from society due to personal choices, and their bestial description.

Like you, the idea of suicide has never brought me any solace.  I know that both Nietzsche and his severe critic, Cioran, both had good things to say about the value of the idea of suicide, how it helps just knowing we are choosing to endure this life, although Cioran says that we always kill ourselves too late.   These writers think they're so damn clever.

Anyway, why I prefer to identify with this bestial character?   It helps me in a way that may also help you.   How to explain? 

When you say, "I will   sleep  in the cold  on streets, and wear torn clothes and eat food out of the dust bin, but I refuse to lie to myself and say to myself that it can all end," I think you are displaying something similar.  Maybe we can call it "embracing the ugly truth."


Merging with the Ugliness of Living ...  In this way, we might allow ourselves to become evil enough to accept the evil inherent in the nature of existing.   Myself, I possess some ugly feelings which are most violently provoked at the thought of great self-deception, phony lovey-dovey nonsense, and generally any attempts to hide the ugly nature of living.


So you are being "shipped" out to a more rural area by "the company"?


Do you imagine this will be worse for you than living in a more cosmopolitan environment?  I am sorry you are being tormented in the work-force.   It is an ugly reality.  I know we each have different fates, different experiences; but I can tell you that I was most content as a maintenance worker for the park service as I had a great amount of time to myself, was given orders in the morning and then usually left alone.   When working with others, well, I tried my best to get along, but - what a strange animal I am!   I mean, I really hate the kinds of things others discuss ... god damn, I become angry just thinking about it.


Even though you report weeping, I am glad to hear from you.  Consider it a smoke signal.   This is a nightmare world, yes.   You once advised me to stay in my room and not venture out.   I explained that I had to walk to get groceries (and booze) ... well, now I mostly stay in when possible.   I wish there were a way for you to circumvent this situation, but as long as you are tied to your employer (owner), you will have to find ways to endure it.   I suggest embracing the wretched experiences, allowing yourself to weep, and maybe even trying to document how you actually feel.  There are others who come after you who might appreciate your perspective on the situation you are in.


Many pass through this realm leaving no commentary.
« Last Edit: December 21, 2018, 01:15:36 pm by Kaspar the Jaded »
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