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How To Cope With The Consequences of Defiance

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Kaspar Hauser:
Usually I am able to lose myself in studying, but today I was just depressed for no particular reason ... I wondered if it would pass ... It is still with me so I am going to probe for what it is that is ailing me.  I reflect on this very significant observation made by Horkheimer and Adorno:

“Anyone who does not conform is condemned to an economic impotence which is prolonged in the intellectual powerlessness of the eccentric loner. Disconnected from the mainstream, he is easily convicted of inadequacy.”

I would think I would be used to being disconnected from the mainstream by now.  It's the conviction of inadequacy that is much harder to cope with.  This world is stranger than science-fiction.  The slave mentality sees those who walk away from slavery as somehow inadequate.  It is maddening to think about this.  The worst kind of prison is the prison of the mind. The prison of the mind has no need for walls or guards. Escape is as simple as walking away, yet few people leave.  When I experience depressive feelings, I have to remind myself that these feelings are part of the reason why so few walk away from the quarry.  They don't have to think as long as they are employed and "occupied." 

There is a price one pays for facing down the slave mentality.  One has to develop psychological strength if one is to stand alone against the herd, against the masses.  This is related to the topic of living in A Strange Orbit.  Often I am writing to myself, talking myself through the uncomfortable passage of time.

I hope you are feeling better now.Take care of yourself.

I watched the documentary and jotted down a couple things.  I have some code I will tweak to see if there is a pattern to primes twins (prime numbers that differ by 2: {5, 7}, {11, 13}, ...).

Does it matter if one can not prove that there is an infinite set of such pairs?  According to our mutant metaphysics, the ultimate question is Why Bother?

Wasn't the premise of this message board that in writing Better Never To Have Been, David Benetar was tackling the great problem that had gotten Schopenhauer's attention, Cioran's attention, even that hack, Camus: is life worth living?

Do I identify myself as a mathematician?  I think I am anti-academia, and even though I will hack away at some code and ponder non-countable infinities, I am in the camp of thinkers who declare, "Why bother with such trite matters when we experience the futility of existence in our bones?"

The meaning of life is the most urgent of questions, and yet, a considerable amount of life-forms evidently continue to reproduce without requiring any meaning or sense to life.  Therefore, perhaps the meaning of life is irrelevant.

Is this why I am impressed with suicides and those who go mad?

I have been wondering what is the line a demarcation between the human and the gort.  The gort believes that that which is so, is so.  Not to pick on anyone in particular, but I notice there is a great deal of hoo-ha around professional athletes.  I would venture to guess that the lot of them, along with their fans, are gorts.

Now I am considering those who identify themselves as mathematicians with their glorious proofs.  I will dabble in their craft, but are these academicians not gorts as well?  I notice a great deal of posturing in the academic world ... elitism and snobbery. 

Question: Are certain infinities non-countable?
Answer: Someone blows their brains out.   :o

Now, a deeper question might be, "Does the creature, in destroying itself, destroy the entire Creation?"

Is the entire objective a product of our imaginations that disappears when the brain goes to the worms?   But the worms exist ... eating the inorganic matter of the dead brain!  Do the worms exist when they are eating our dead brains?   ;)

another brick, part 2

Kaspar Hauser:
There is no way to prove that the worms (the objective world) exist since the brain that poses the question no longer exists.

Does one experience a sense of horror that some are in ivory towers writing proofs in mathematical journals while others don't even know how to read?  I guess one has to learn how to detach in order to be able to concentrate on the abstract.

Maybe I will work on that code ... list_twin_primes.c ... The most liberating activity seems to be laying down for a nap ... Virginia Woolf was sure right about that.

Kaspar Hauser:
Mathematical Mystery Tour

I changed my prime factor code a little, making the array of primes 50000 instead of 6666.

Of the first 50000 primes, there are 5423 "twins".

I put the output in the file test.txt if you want to look for some kind of pattern.

The first 21 pairs:

{3, 5 } are twin primes set # 1
{5, 7 } are twin primes set # 2
{11, 13 } are twin primes set # 3
{17, 19 } are twin primes set # 4
{29, 31 } are twin primes set # 5
{41, 43 } are twin primes set # 6
{59, 61 } are twin primes set # 7
{71, 73 } are twin primes set # 8
{101, 103 } are twin primes set # 9
{107, 109 } are twin primes set # 10
{137, 139 } are twin primes set # 11
{149, 151 } are twin primes set # 12
{179, 181 } are twin primes set # 13
{191, 193 } are twin primes set # 14
{197, 199 } are twin primes set # 15
{227, 229 } are twin primes set # 16
{239, 241 } are twin primes set # 17
{269, 271 } are twin primes set # 18
{281, 283 } are twin primes set # 19
{311, 313 } are twin primes set # 20
{347, 349 } are twin primes set # 21

The last  (of first 50000 primes):

{608591, 608593 } are twin primes set # 5401
{608609, 608611 } are twin primes set # 5402
{608897, 608899 } are twin primes set # 5403
{608987, 608989 } are twin primes set # 5404
{609359, 609361 } are twin primes set # 5405
{609599, 609601 } are twin primes set # 5406
{609617, 609619 } are twin primes set # 5407
{609779, 609781 } are twin primes set # 5408
{609911, 609913 } are twin primes set # 5409
{609989, 609991 } are twin primes set # 5410
{610217, 610219 } are twin primes set # 5411
{610541, 610543 } are twin primes set # 5412
{610739, 610741 } are twin primes set # 5413
{610781, 610783 } are twin primes set # 5414
{610847, 610849 } are twin primes set # 5415
{610877, 610879 } are twin primes set # 5416
{610919, 610921 } are twin primes set # 5417
{611069, 611071 } are twin primes set # 5418
{611111, 611113 } are twin primes set # 5419
{611549, 611551 } are twin primes set # 5420
{611801, 611803 } are twin primes set # 5421
{611837, 611839 } are twin primes set # 5422
{611951, 611953 } are twin primes set # 5423

One of the problems in the above video was to prove that there are an infinite amount of these sets of twins.


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