I calmly brought the outrageous urinalysis bill to the attention of a "case manager". She was very cool about it, defusing the whole situation by saying she must have made a mistake and checked a wrong box. It looks like some government agency is going to get stuck paying Bioreference Laboratories Incorporated for those expensive jars of p-i-s-s.
I hope and pray that you get rid of these gorts as soon as possible and that you get to study mathematics and Antinatalist literature to your heart's content.