To the Suffering One,
I am truly sorry that you are suffering terribly. Not just you, even Schopenhauer would have got terrified if he would have see the bedlam where they took you.
I did not intend to draw your attention to advanced math when I mentioned Gauss.I just wanted to say that Gauss also suffered a great deal but continued to do maths and maybe we could also continue to suffer and work on our basic mathematics.
The way I see it -you are a noble soul and most of your acquaintances try to take undue advantage of your-don’t cast pearls before swine.
All I can do is to share my limited experience and insights compared to yours and hope that it would be of some help to you-my best days are when I talk to no one,see no one’s face.
I have noticed that almost all of the tragic episodes take place when we are in presence of someone,almost never when we are on our own.
I fully realize that institutions like AA and the Academia would stifle your sensitive soul.
My company has more or less disowned me. I get the salary but no increments and promotions( I do not want it). Though I work like a galley slave- I do not get along with the people.
Might I suggest,going to the forest,which is close to your house? The sky you would see, the trees you would touch and the earth you would walk upon, all groan along with you.Such is our fate.
Days go by and I do not eat. When I get too weak to continue to work without eating, I eat.
Compared to Kafka’s country, mine is thousand times more mind boggling.This message board has been a safe haven and yet I fully recognise the fact that at any point of time,anyone of us could be snatched away,by,to use Senor Raul’s term, the Archons.
The gorts around you want to break your spirit completely and then gladly let the rest of us know what they did with the best of us. If the gorts can make a mince meat out of your spirit,then,the rest of us are sitting ducks for them.
They might have chosen you especially to target. In chess, once the King is dead, it does not matter if all the other pieces are still around.
You are an incredible man, no two ways about it. A one-man army. To defy the whole of the gortish establish is nothing to sneeze at.
Yes,you are the Broken Spirit, but you also wrote, as Broken Spirit, that you are strong inside, and you even strengthen those around you.
If there anyone who is capable of beating the gortish establishment it is You.You can do it.Schopenhauer's shadow fights right along with you.
Cioran is there too.