Can you imagine being so possessive as to want to "keep a woman/man" in your life?
-Mr.Silenus
Well, I must confess I have ,I suppose, rather limited real life romantic experience with women.Now that I think of it, I gave so much freedom to my "girlfriends" that they did not even realise that they were supposed to be"my girlfriends"
Now, that your question has brought back some old memories,let me relate them to you,if I may. The first woman, who came closest to being my "girlfriend" was in the college and my extent of interaction with her was to once gift her a biography of Steve Jobs ,for she was a lot into business and all.
To be truthful,she did reciprocate and after a few days gave a book called "Freud- A guide for the Confused", I don't know what to make of it,did she think I was a lot into sex and all
And that is it.No hand holding, no pecks. That was it,really, if you can believe it.This was in 2009.
Or to think that you could, and that any sense of "freedom" can be attained by having to conform to careerism, debt, mowing the lawn, idle, boring "dinner dates" with other couples, raising a child (future sufferer)? We all know that this is production for the body-mind farm that Raul often hammers home.
-Mr.Silenus
My second romance took place in 2013-14, right before I had the good fortune to meet Herr Hauser. I was working for a giant mining corporation then, and the two of us ( the woman and I),were put in the same work related committee.
From the get go, she told me that she had a fiance.Apparently, that was not a problem, when it came to taking gifts from me - dark chocolate, a wall clock and a few other things. Again, no hand holding or even a kiss.
She just called me up to play golf( golf, of all things
) once with her.And she talked for long periods of time over the telephone with me, all non-sense,nothing sexually explicit but I found it exciting anyway.
And then she got married and I changed the company.
That is pretty much the long and short of my love life.
The need to be POSSESSED; the need to be SAVED...what the hell is wrong with us???
-Mr.Silenus
I think,back in 2009, the day I got the job through college campus placement ,I was quite over confident,right after that I gave the book as a gift and things might have got quite serious ,if not for my extreme introversion.Blessed introversion. As regards these two women, I would say I was possessive,in that,at that point of time, I would have liked them to give all their attention to me.
You see, I think, I am a rather sentimental man, and I am terribly afraid of being in any kind of relationship with any woman because then I might end up acting as possessive boyfriend again. In Hindi, there is an idiom called" If there is no bamboo, there will be no flute". So, if there is no woman, there is no complicated emotional calculus.At any rate, now its different for me, having encountered Schopenhauer,Cioran and Herr Hauser, my way of perceiving the world has dramatically changed . There are a few things I am trying to do, but its all philosophical and not romantic at all. So, the 2009 Holden and 2014 Holden are dead and buried.
I am just speaking for myself and maybe for the others long term relationships might work out, but I have what is called a one-track mind and I am trying to do something philosophical. I will share it with you, if its okay with you, if and when I manage to come up with something substantial.
Take care and do keep writing.