Like in the Castle( the novel), I have two assistants ,in the Company. And they do everything but to assist me. It so surreal,its beyond bizarre.
That life could imitate art to this extent.
If it is my fate, to be the bug,then I embrace it, what else can I do?
Yes, it can seem like there is a definite concrete conspiracy to "fuuck with you" ... In the park service, there was nepotism, and so, in the spring and summer, I would end up with a crew which consisted of several sons of the "middle management" ... It was alo quite surreal. The sons would report the inner dirty laundry, conflicts, chaos in chain of commnad, to their daddies during dinner.
How is it Kakfa captures it? It may be universal.
I swear, while reading
Dostoevsky in Asbury Park, New Jersey, 2014, I felt he could have been writing about that very place as easily as St Petersburg in the 1800s. Whether the characters are black or white or brown or other, there seem to exist this underhanded politics, where the slumlords have their army of minions to spy on you, harass you, or otherwise "fuuck with your life."
Could it be the same everywhere one goes? They piiss on your leg and tell you it's raining.
This is the real politics of social animal man. The conspirators seem to get off on being in the loop.
When everything is rushed, it feels like a conspiracy against allowing you enough time to get your bearings, to keep you off-guard.
How does it end? Is one doomed to play the role assigned by Fate? Is there a way to exist in a detached manner? And how does society control these social hierarchies? They test and make the youth jump through hoops. Some segments of society are trained to be the upholders of the status quo. What a goddamn farce. That means the doctors, judges, and others in prestegious positions in society may not have brains so much as no spines.
All who pay deference to the false hierarchy imposed on the natural order by society, I call them "authority worshippers". (see
Mental Illness as Rebellion Against Society).
There is definitely something to this "always feeling rushed." Even when it comes to education, what is all the education for all those years if one is discouraged from thinking and studying for the remainder of one's life? Could the schooling simply be obedience training? That is not education.
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While leaving the link to the different spellings of Dostoyevski in the the thread, 33 Myths About the System, I noticed Ibra left a quote by this man who wrote books to pay off gambling debts.
The idea has occurred to me that if one wanted to crush, to annihilate a man utterly, to inflict on him the most terrible punishments so that the most ferocious murderer would shudder at it beforehand, one need only give him work of an absolutely, completely useless and irrational character.Fyodor Dostoyevski, The House of the Dead
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an aside: I can't track down the source, but I definitely recall Schopenhauer stating that society often reverses the natural order of the universe; that is, it keeps in chains that which Nature has made strong ... hence, "Brains in Chains." (H-71 HEX 5)
You are not as alone as you may feel. The problem is, if one does not chase the carrots, there is the whip; and today the whip strikes in the form of "starvation" and other "social degradations." Anyone who does not jump through the necessary hoops will be judged as inferior stock, when, the truth is, some people are just
trees with knots, not easily turned into lumber.
Holden, your misery is your resistance, so maybe embrace and explore the nature of your misery, and note when you feel relief … They want you to bring your work home, but you must demand that your free-time is your own, to do what truly interests you, even if it is just reading or napping.