{∅, {∅}, {∅, {∅}}} : Rage Against the Meat Grinder

Well,I asked about Binomial Theorem as I could not understand it.I was reading about it in a chapter concerning the number system.
My approach to mathematics,& some of the other things as well, is borrowed from Delezues idea of the rhizome.I jump from topic to topic.From one page of the book from another.Admittedly,it is not systematic. Its a fact that I have had no formal training in mathematics ,let alone programming.It is not something that I would like to cause the feeling of self-pity in me.It is what it is.Given the circumstances, the Rhizome approach is the best I can come up with.Perhaps.

There are problems which make me want to give up on mathematics altogether but I come back to it again and again.In Hindi they have a saying which implies that even the soft rope,which is used to draw water from a well, eventually manages to leave its impression on hard rock.

There are many things in mathematics which I don't understand.Binomial theorem is just one of them.But I don't want my incomprehension of any one topic in mathematics to stop me from learning any of it.Because there are topics like Descrates formula to find the number of roots of an equation which I do understand.

So,even if this rhizome is shattered at one place, it will not stop it from spreading it out in other places.Any traditional/formal approach has only caused me heart ache and pain.I understand that it would take me years to develop the kind of comprehension that I seek and I also know that there is no guarantee of anything,no guarantees of continued health,sanity,shelter,free time to study or even of ones being able to continue to draw breath.

But I solider on,there will at the very least be the satisfaction of having done ones best.Even if there is not good enough by some kind of objective standard.In India ,because of Hinduism, there is a very strong belief that if one dies without a certain strong wish having been fulfilled,he is reincarnated ,specially to fulfil that desire in the next birth.I have no desires,at least I like to think that, but if there were indeed such a desire strong enough to drag me back and mire me in existence ones again, it would be that of comprehending mathematics better.

But,I think ,in the last analysis, not even that.