Sometimes I tire of turning on a computer. Just because I invested in a machine does not mean I must use it constantly. Now I have so many books to look into, I sometimes lose enthusiasm. Enthusiasm and gumption are crucial. I recall Cioran writing somewhere that some days the best one can do is lay down and grown.
Today I did not even feel like eating and I had lost interest in everything I had been investigating. I guess I faced the abyss. All I was able to do is stare into space.
The thing about these moods is that I do not fight them. I can imagine how one feels who has lost the will to fight. There is a definite nausea and weakness in the legs.
In times like that I try to write about my disinterest, and I realize that it is best to write for ourselves. We don't have colleagues.
Sometimes all we can do is nothing.