In my 17th year, I was gripped by the misery of life, as Buddha had been in his youth when he saw sickness, old age, pain and death. The truth was that this world could not have been the work of an all loving Being, but rather that of a devil, who had brought creatures into existence in order to delight in their sufferings.
-Schopenhauer
So,was I.In my 17th year,the anguish inside of me really bloomed. I have infinite number of questions & very few answers.I remember one day I was just sitting on my bed reading a magazine article about the Population Bomb, I was horrified with it . I used to hide in my room all the time as I hated the crowds. The number of people has only been rising.
It makes a great deal of sense if I see myself as a prisoner. Every quarter or so,in the office,one or the other of my colleagues can be found distributing sweets & when they come to me to give me the sweets & I ask then what the good news is ,they invariably say that they just had a baby. Every freaking Hollywood movie ends with the main actors together with a baby.
Yes,I am the wet blanket.
I think one of the best ways to find out if one has really give up on the Will to Live is this: has one managed to banish the thoughts about women?
Schopenhauer says "Directly after copulation the devil's laughter is heard”,true,& directly after **** the devil's smile is seen.
Its not enough to not have any children,I think its equally important that one understands that the orgasmic pleasure is a deception,a mirage.
It can never quench your thirst ,only heighten it.