Is it necessary to maintain friendships? Suppose one's friend has developed a severe drug habit, and he or she becomes manipulative taking advantage of your compassionate nature?
I have had experiences in my life when a "friend" would plant themselves in my life seeing me as an easy target ... Recently I have allowed a friend to deceive me, and I kept this knowledge to myself, but within me I recognize a definite shift in perspective. Now, Schopenhauer advises us to consider a person's hardships and misery lest we end up hating the person. I am well aware of my buddy's misery ... I won't go into details.
Is an open enemy who outright hates you better than a friend who manipulates and deceives you?
Also, when you come to the conclusion that you have been targeted for exploitation, I don't think you have any obligation to make it known that your defenses are up. You can just detach and avoid that person and forge ahead. One has to develop the capacity to really be alone. Life is not a party.
Sometimes total strangers show us more kindness than our so-called "blood brothers"...
I just don't like to hold grudges. I know life can become a nightmare, especially when romances go sour and there are infants and young children that are the result of the union ... then someone may just become a total monster in search of their fix.
Like-minded individuals ... Isn't it necessary to be able to stand alone in this world?
Who cares if there are gangs and groups and mobs?
How did Roshi put it so many years ago?
If you are going to be different, you have to get used to the idea that your difference will confuse, frighten, and bother people less intelligent or less fortunate than yourself.
I will add a footnote to that all these years later: If you are going to be compassionate, you have to get used to the idea that your compassion might be mistaken for weakness and there will be certain characters who will abuse your kindness.
About the relieving effect of writing Emil Cioran said in an interview, "If you detest someone, just take a piece of paper and write 10, 20, 30 times: X is an
****. And after a few minutes, you will feel relieved. You detest them less."
I don't have to do that. I just write about how insulting it is for someone to think they are outsmarting me ... I let it go and allow my intelligence to be underestimated ... and I wonder who the
**** they think they are fooling.
Still, I just take it in stride and hold no grudges. I just know better than to trust one who lies to manipulate ... and I return to myself ...
I don't want to be anybody's guide. This is associated with the role my writing has for me. I write for myself, to get rid of my demons. If it helps another to witness the process, may they be inspired to do the same.
Write for yourself. Get rid of the demons of hatred and hurt pride. Be a recluse.
I am interested to learn how others get rid of their demons ... Like when you know someone has abused your trust ... How do you process the anger? Maybe anger isn't the right word/emotion. How do you process the insult, the depressing disillusionment? Can it be turned into a lesson that makes you harder/stronger/tougher?