Author Topic: A Question for Herr Hauser and Senor Raul  (Read 484884 times)

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Holden

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The End is Nigh (To Don Raul)
« Reply #1005 on: November 24, 2021, 11:23:43 am »
Don Raul,

Thanks for your message.The neighbour has been out of town for a few weeks now so I have been alone and I like it. Today I came to know that the widow of my colleague who died last year wants to come here because her son is enrolled in a school in this city and his exams are about to start.

So the two of them and their relatives want to stay here for a few months.

Problem is I keep the doors locked because all kinds of anti-social elements knock on my door and try to harass me. When she would be here, she would notice that I rarely open my door and when the scoundrels would knock on my door and I wont open the door, she would open hers and then she would call up my boss and tell him that I do not open my door when people knock on it.

Then, my boss would call me up and I would tell him what exactly I think about him and his ego would be hurt and I would be transferred from this location .

Look, by not opening the door, the official work is not impacted at all. In fact, I concentrate better and the overall productivity rises. But they want me to follow the social conventions.

Also,the janitor is a goon and has threatened me indirectly so I pay his  salary and clean the office myself apart from taking care of paper-work,but this dame would call up the janitor and gossip with him and conspire against me and tell my boss that I am no good and that I pay the janitor but don’t make him work( the same janitor had threatened her deceased husband too)  ,though, I tell you the truth, I work pretty hard.

But, in the end, I am the one who is in the wrong,not the goon janitor or the gossip-monger dame because I have been yellow and I still breathe. Maybe it is a sign for me that now the time is approaching when I would have to pack my bags and leave this wretched planet and go to a place where I would never ever be disturbed. How nice it would be to close the eyes of the final time.

My cousin(on my father’s side) hanged herself when she was barely nineteen because her father beat up her boyfriend and my great grandmother (on my mum’s side)  consumed Copper Sulphate within four days for her husband’s demise because she did not wish to live as a widow.I mention this because I am glad I have the genes which might drive one to commit suicide and,now,pretty soon I might be in the environment that would activate them, and then, I would pull the plug.

Any regrets? None. Though I would have liked to study a bit more mathematics. Well, maybe there is a heaven after all, a heaven where I would be able to meet not only Schopenhauer but also Gauss.

Take care.
La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.

Holden

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Re: A Question for Herr Hauser and Senor Raul
« Reply #1006 on: November 24, 2021, 11:29:08 am »
They say my cousin hanged herself from a door,not from the ceiling, but from a freaking door and my great-grandmother consumed so much chemical that her whole body had turned blue.

What a way to go, but I guess, they found  it preferable comparable to living here among the brood of vipers.
« Last Edit: November 24, 2021, 11:32:34 am by Holden »
La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.

Holden

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Re: A Question for Herr Hauser and Senor Raul
« Reply #1007 on: November 24, 2021, 02:19:55 pm »
La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.

Holden

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Re: A Question for Herr Hauser and Senor Raul
« Reply #1008 on: November 25, 2021, 12:57:26 pm »
La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.

raul

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Re: A Question for Herr Hauser and Senor Raul
« Reply #1009 on: November 25, 2021, 04:13:48 pm »
Holden,

Thank you for your message. Once again I must say that you are a gifted writer. All these stories about your neighbor, your boss and the widow of your colleague, the janitor, your boss, are very enlightening. They are worth a novel.

I read that Idi Amin Dada, the dictator of Uganda had his enemies thrown to the crocodiles. Wouldn´t it be nice if people could do that their bosses and colleagues? Just kidding. ;D

You are a grown man before your time.

Your environment, if I can use that word, is envy of you. That is the reason you are being harassed, attacked or abused. In the end you will prevail.

I hope to be brave if I ever decide to slice my wrists and exit this insane world. This world was insane before and it is much more insane now.

What I see, and that is nothing new, is that these thugs in power really believe that there are two kinds of people: common people and special people. And they are the special people. They have shed blood for millennia and they have been treated like emperors.

It makes me feel bitter to say this but when I see most people submitting to this dictatorship I really think that we, as a human species, must be deleted due to our cowardice. I include myself.

Since I have behaved like a zombie most of my life,have I ever truly existed at all?

Stay safe.

Holden

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To Die, To Sleep..(To Don Raul)
« Reply #1010 on: November 26, 2021, 01:46:16 pm »
Don Raul,
Thanks for the message. You said you have never read hard-boiled novels,well, many people would say that is a good thing because they are not considered as particularly highbrowed.

Nevertheless, I do think that there is something true to be found in them. What I mean is that unlike Romance novels like Mills and Boon, they do not feed syrup to the reader and depict the ugly underbelly of the society.
I wish to be a hermit. When I am alone in the room, I am almost sane. I do not lose my mental balance. But where there are people around, I find it very difficult to keep calm.

These books I mention to you are much like horror fiction ,only instead of ghosts or goblins, they feature malicious human being and thus fit into the Gnostic world-view perfectly.

They say that when one dies the electric signals which keep getting generated in the human brain disappear and with it the whole personality too.
Maybe that is the way it is, but that fact is not enough to stop people from having babies, especially those who studied with me back in the day.
I have to say though that I find the universe quite strange. Most people are embedded in their communities so thoroughly that say never think about these things and so it is left to the outcast like me to think about them and I do.
I like my maths and fiction books much more than those who live in this place. They are monsters and only want to wreck havoc. They just want to torture others and keep having babies.
I do not understand how many babies they want to have. As many as possible,I guess. Even if many of those babies spend their lives as beggars on the street.

To die, to sleep, no more..
Take care.
La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.

raul

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Re: A Question for Herr Hauser and Senor Raul
« Reply #1011 on: November 28, 2021, 05:35:57 am »
Holden,

Thank you again for the message and the articles. They are very interesting.

The girl sued her mother´s doctor for not doing his job well.  I think she is very brave to do that. The mother is also responsible. The medical mafia is very strong as we are seeing now. I wish her much luck.

About the article in RT I can only say that this news is at least funny. Bodybuilder Tolochko put on hold his wedding with his plastic lover Margo. I hope he has happy days in Moscow.

Not only do this kind of books, romance novels, feed syrup to people. The MSM media, TV, entertainment literature, and movies have been doing it all the time. We have been brainwashed a long time by these weapons of mind destruction.

You have a problem. It is better to say. You are the problem. You are unfit to follow the rules and obey. You do see, as you say, the ugly underbelly of our society. You find, unlike most people, the universe strange. This world is like a circus where all the beasts have been released.

Most people accept this world naturally. It is natural for millions of people to have been born in this human farm where exploitation is the rule. Yes, this Earth is a giant necro factory.

You know and you feel that we are monsters and that we enjoy torturing our fellow human beings. Indeed, you are unfit to live in this world. Your parents, everybody´s parents, brought us into this infernal paradise. They did not know what they were doing. They still don´t know the tragedy they caused. In their view, bringing you to this world was an act of love.

They gave birth to you in the heat of the night, so to speak, and now you are experiencing the ills of life.

Your folks should congratulate you for being a nice person. You could have become a serial killer of elderly people or a homicidal madman. Yes, we, humans, are a very fearsome species.

Surely you will sleep, after you die, until, well, you find yourself in the body of a baby some months later. The nightmare is endless.

I often write about death but apart from my mother and father and some other people I have not seen a dead body in a morgue specially if he or she has been murdered.

Stay alert.

Nation of One

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Re: A Question for Herr Hauser and Senor Raul
« Reply #1012 on: November 28, 2021, 06:56:15 am »
Senor Raul,

If I may interject, before laying down again, I wish to comment that what you have written resonates with me especially this morning.

Quote from: raul
Your parents, everybody´s parents, brought us into this infernal paradise. They did not know what they were doing. They still don´t know the tragedy they caused. In their view, bringing you to this world was an act of love.

I prepared a meal (with my mother) for my parents and I to share a couple days ago.  My parents have been divorced since 1980, when I was 13.   For what it is worth, I must be sensitive to the slightest insults, for I could feel myself becoming resentful when my father (80) would seem to be boasting for a cousin of mine who received a promotion to lieutenant with the New York State Troopers.   I can't fathom how my Dad would even think this would impress me.   I found myself blurting things out, such as, "Who the Hell wants a boss and a wife, or even kids for that matter, kids who will be tools for advertisers, demanding to consume, consume, consume gadgets and guns?!"

I was also critical of the football games, saying I do not take "grown men who play with balls very seriously," no matter how much they are lionized by our systemically stupid society.  I can be quite a grumpy little bastard, what with all my injuries and tooth decay.   ::)

The reason what you wrote resonates with me is that I finally realize that my father may lack the sensitive intelligence to even comprehended that he and my mother thoughtlessly assume they have granted me a gift (life), and that my misery is just a sign of some kind of personal flaw or inadequacy.   I really do have to repress a great deal of rage and anger over this.

Did you find yourself resenting the insensitivity of your parents while they were living?  Did you ever confront them "philosophically"?  Should we forgive our parents for their ignorance and arrogance, or should we sometimes glare at them defiantly?   8)

Even though many might be ashamed to harbor such deep-seated existential resentment, I am not ashamed at all.   I want to face "how I truly feel" so as to totally destroy the internalized oppressor which my parents seem to defer to.  They both defer to status quo mainstream values.  I suspect my father thinks I am a weirdo.   :D

Peace.

PS:  I can only sleep a few hours at a time, but I find myself praying to die in my sleep.  Again, I am not ashamed to admit it.  I wish more people were as honest (with themselves) as the handful of us posting here.
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~

raul

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Re: A Question for Herr Hauser and Senor Raul
« Reply #1013 on: November 30, 2021, 05:08:03 am »
Hentrich,

Thank you for your words.

It must have been a sad and bitter experience when your parents divorced. This experience toughened you much.

Most people don´t think or will never think about existencial or philosophical issues like you do. The world we live in right now often tends to lionize grown men who play with balls seriously as you say. This world wants muscles not brains.

Yes, our parents, parents everywhere, as I said, did not know or did not understand the tragedy they caused in bringing us into this world. Bringing a child, in their view, was a bliss.

That´s the way they see it and that´s not going to change even when they witness madness every day.

And last but not the least  you are a weirdo ;D

Walk carefully.

Nation of One

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Re: A Question for Herr Hauser and Senor Raul
« Reply #1014 on: November 30, 2021, 05:26:40 am »
Quote from: raul
And last but not the least  you are a weirdo.  ;D

I finally get it.  Thank you for clarifying this for me.  Weirdo-Rejectionist-Miserablist ... a little more descriptive than "Depressive Realist".   Your straight-forwardness is greatly appreciated.   8)

My animal body is feeling so tormented, and the cold air utterly mocks me.   I can no longer take my life too seriously.  This nightmare existence is not worthy of being taken seriously.   We should not try so hard.
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~

raul

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Re: A Question for Herr Hauser and Senor Raul
« Reply #1015 on: December 02, 2021, 05:43:22 am »
Hentrich,

Indeed you are a weirdo. You are many things that polite society do not or will not approve. ;D

You are a rejectionist, a misfit, a whiner, a ranter, a very problematic creature. That is understandable. You do not conform. You do not obey. You do not fit in there or anywhere. ;D

If someone in power asks you the result of 2 plus 2. You must humbly, kindly, gently, solemnly answer 2 plus 2 equals 5. Get it?

Always say yes to the thought police. ;D

As usual take a nap.

Holden

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Hunger ( To Don Raul)
« Reply #1016 on: December 03, 2021, 07:33:01 am »
Don Raul,
Sorry I could not respond sooner as I was occupied with a great deal of office work.
You might like to read this:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3271178/Husband-cake-****-seductress-speaks-reveals-loves-wife-relentlessly-pursued-kinky-Greek-Orthodox-priest.html


I think the moral of the news story about the wrestler marrying a doll was that it is better to do so than marrying a flesh-and-blood lady.

Well, you find yourself in the body of a baby some months later.-Senor Raul
What exactly do you mean by that,could you elaborate?

Where I work,right behind that building, is a play ground & everyday from about 4 p.m. kids play cricket and create a whole lot of racket. I do not mind because my room is right at the top of the building so while I can see them ,if I want to, they cannot.

They do not know what life has in store for them. Well, I guess it is better that way.
I try to observe my hunger pangs. The feeling of emptiness in my tummy and how it wants me to devour food, how it tries to keep my body going.

Did not Diogenes say that if one could get rid of hunger by rubbing the tummy the way one gets rid of an e-rection, then, life would have been so much better.

I think hunger is not something that necessarily lasts forever.There are ways of killing it without consuming. No hunger, no libido. Now, that is quite close to being non-existent. I repeat-no hunger, no libido.Pure observation. Like Aristotle’s God who spends all his time just thinking about his own thoughts. I would take that over the Christian heaven.

Over here there are many urchins begging for bread ,for anything they could get. Sometimes I think they are the very personification of hunger, of need. I wish to be the personification of satiety, of inaction.
I hope people are not trying to jab you and that your eyes are not giving you too much trouble.
Have you read this novel called Hunger:



I remember reading it in 2011. I was sick,probably due to overwork. I remember reading in alone in my room. It made me feel a bit better.

You know,today, the Scandinavian countries are concerned the gold standard when it comes to “Development”.Well, as late as the 1930s there were still peasants there who killed themselves when the crop failed.Could we be sure that the 1930s would never return?

While  libido and hunger may appear irresistible,there are ways and means of doing away with them.

Take care.
« Last Edit: December 03, 2021, 08:32:48 am by Holden »
La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.

Holden

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Re: A Question for Herr Hauser and Senor Raul
« Reply #1017 on: December 03, 2021, 11:03:30 am »
La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.

Holden

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Re: A Question for Herr Hauser and Senor Raul
« Reply #1018 on: December 04, 2021, 01:20:59 pm »
La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.

raul

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Re: A Question for Herr Hauser and Senor Raul
« Reply #1019 on: December 05, 2021, 06:21:41 am »
Holden,

Thank you for the article. It is very funny and interesting. The temptations of the flesh are difficult to overcome. Catholic priests, Greek orthodox priests in this case, pastors, preachers, and rabbis are humans after all.

Yes, it is better, no matter how strange it sounds, for that Kazakh wrestler to marry a doll than a woman. You avoid many problems and above all you avoid spending a lot of money.

“To die, to sleep, no more..” This is what you wrote in your post. Well you will sleep but you will reincarnate, if we follow that line, in another body. More suffering and pain awaits you. And if that does not happen we all will become dust and ashes.

When you are a child you do not know what life has in store for you. As you say it is better not to know. Had we known what life had in store for all us when we were children I suppose the suicide rates would have skyrocketed decades ago.

As for the people not trying to jab me, the Minister of Health here is going to vaccinate people house to house. I read that the Paraguayan health authorities had to dump the AstraZeneca vaccines because they expired this week. They also want to enforce segregation between the vaccinated and the unvaccinated in public places. I heard a man, on CNN in Spanish, Gustavo Valdes, living in Atlanta, USA, who says that people taking the jab are getting 100 dollars.

What you wrote about the peasants killing themselves when the crops failed reminds me of what I read in the alternative blogs. Farmers in the U.S. were ordered to destroy their crops or they will not get subsidies from the government. 

I understand, that people. including me, will not react against these thugs in power. But what about the lone wolves? To them the journalists, businesspeople, politicians and doctors, executioners all of them, who are taking part in this agenda must pay for the crimes they are committing.

Stay safe.