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Posted by: Kaspar Hauser
« on: July 07, 2014, 11:28:52 am »

"I've also thought about getting a dog or a cat,
but one must have quite a bit of money even for that"


So we are castaways on a deserted island teeming with lifeforms that appear to be of our species but may just be some kind of highly sophisticated shape-shifting cancer ...

Oh, that's right ... we call them gorts.

It's no wonder the most reflective among our species end up crazy.

Maybe we are just a miserable species in a miserable universe, and only when we are alone can we allow ourselves just to see this clearly without any of the endless mantras like "It could be worse, at least you have access to water."

Access to water is an illusion.  How can one think like that? "At least you have access to water" - as if it is a sure 100% secure situation!   >:(
Posted by: Crazy Squirrel
« on: July 06, 2014, 11:27:52 pm »

What I meant by 'doing my own thing' is that I am a recluse. As I wrote, I actively avoid people. I don't care what they think of me, either.

Realizing that friendship is undesirable and vastly overrated was a very difficult lesson to learn. Supposedly, we are wired to be social beings, after all. But, I wonder if that's actually true, since the default setting for humanity appears to be to exploit each other and generally treat everyone like ****.

I've also thought about getting a dog or a cat, but one must have quite a bit of money even for that. Jeez.

Yeah, I wish there were like-minded people out there, but there aren't. :( Isolation it is, then!
Posted by: Kaspar Hauser
« on: July 06, 2014, 11:02:55 pm »

I have been doing my own thing for awhile, but now I see it is best if I go even deeper into isolation.  This is why I have put attention into getting an old desktop computer my nephew sent me set up for "doing my own thing" before I get to the next town where I am sure to become lonely as usual.  This time, I want it to be clear to myself that I can be content as a recluse and even kind of a geek. 

I am long passed the age of worrying about what others think of me.

I think that I have just been a slow learner when it comes to figuring this out.

If I thought I could afford the vet bills and if I found a place I could actually stay put for awhile, an animal might be all the companionship I need.  Ever since I was a child I have had no problem spending a great deal of time alone.  When it comes to literature or music, when we are alone, we can just be ourselves and listen to what we like or jump from one book to another ... or study something for no other reason than a genuine desire to learn a little something.

Maybe we get lonely sometimes and wish there were others interested in the things we are interested in.   Lately I have been feeling much more comfortable just being myself. 

I think we can safely celebrate our comfortability with our isolation.
Posted by: Crazy Squirrel
« on: July 06, 2014, 09:18:22 pm »

I became tired of other people and their ****. Real tired. Yeah, I understand that everyone's got their issues, baggage, demons and whatnot, but I just don't need people treating me like crap for whatever reason, plus I don't need the drama that arises from such situations. I simply said,"Enough!" and I don't bother with other people, anymore. I've come to seriously dislike humanity, so I avoid people like the plague they are. I honestly don't feel I'm missing much from not associating with people, since most are gort clones, anyway...I found that I wasn't gaining anything from talking with people, especially when so many people have so little to say that they expected me to do all the work in carrying on the conversation. Why should I bother with that? It's a waste of my time! I'm much better off, ever since I stopped giving a ****. I do my own thing, now.
Posted by: Kaspar Hauser
« on: July 04, 2014, 05:58:48 pm »

Is it necessary to maintain friendships?  Suppose one's friend has developed a severe drug habit, and he or she becomes manipulative taking advantage of your compassionate nature?

I have had experiences in my life when a "friend" would plant themselves in my life seeing me as an easy target ...  Recently I have allowed a friend to deceive me, and I kept this knowledge to myself, but within me I recognize a definite shift in perspective.  Now, Schopenhauer advises us to consider a person's hardships and misery lest we end up hating the person.  I am well aware of my buddy's misery ... I won't go into details.

Is an open enemy who outright hates you better than a friend who manipulates and deceives you?

Also, when you come to the conclusion that you have been targeted for exploitation, I don't think you have any obligation to make it known that your defenses are up.  You can just detach and avoid that person and forge ahead.  One has to develop the capacity to really be alone.  Life is not a party. 

Sometimes total strangers show us more kindness than our so-called "blood brothers"...

I just don't like to hold grudges.  I know life can become a nightmare, especially when romances go sour and there are infants and young children that are the result of the union ... then someone may just become a total monster in search of their fix. 

Like-minded individuals ... Isn't it necessary to be able to stand alone in this world?

Who cares if there are gangs and groups and mobs? 

How did Roshi put it so many years ago?

If you are going to be different, you have to get used to the idea that your difference will confuse, frighten, and bother people less intelligent or less fortunate than yourself.

I will add a footnote to that all these years later:  If you are going to be compassionate, you have to get used to the idea that your compassion might be mistaken for weakness and there will be certain characters who will abuse your kindness. 

About the relieving effect of writing Emil Cioran said in an interview, "If you detest someone, just take a piece of paper and write 10, 20, 30 times: X is an ****. And after a few minutes, you will feel relieved. You detest them less."

I don't have to do that.  I just write about how insulting it is for someone to think they are outsmarting me ... I let it go and allow my intelligence to be underestimated ... and I wonder who the **** they think they are fooling.   >:(

Still, I just take it in stride and hold no grudges.  I just know better than to trust one who lies to manipulate ... and I return to myself ...

I don't want to be anybody's guide.  This is associated with the role my writing has for me.  I write for myself, to get rid of my demons.  If it helps another to witness the process, may they be inspired to do the same.

Write for yourself.  Get rid of the demons of hatred and hurt pride.  Be a recluse.

I am interested to learn how others get rid of their demons ... Like when you know someone has abused your trust ... How do you process the anger?  Maybe anger isn't the right word/emotion.  How do you process the insult, the depressing disillusionment?  Can it be turned into a lesson that makes you harder/stronger/tougher?