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Posted by: raul
« on: June 12, 2019, 03:54:18 pm »


Thank you for Ernest Becker´s words. Very important. If anybody wants to know how I look they will get the idea one minute before flushing the toilet. The spaghetti out of their holes tells you how I look. Hahaha! This reminds me that years ago I decided to stop using toilet paper, only soap and water and dry it with a towel. In my view it is much healthier. I have no problem in saying this since I was inserted in a macaque´s body.

Is it not strange that we, humans, males, in this case, are designed to use our genitals that urinate and insert it into the female´s hole for pleasure? Most do not want to admit or recognize our animal nature, myself included.

As you wrote: “The problem is that they see a beautiful woman and think that is all there is to her.They do not see her bowels, her bone marrow, the accumulating excreta and urine , the bile within her...the simpletons do not see the thing in itself.”

The thing is that we are screwed. Earth is a giant crematorium.

Stay safe.
Posted by: Holden
« on: June 12, 2019, 11:26:51 am »

Senor Raul and Mr.Silenus,

Excreting is the curse that threatens madness because it shows man his abject finitude, his physicalness, the likely unreality of his hopes and dreams. But even more immediately, it represents man's utter bafflement at the sheer non-sense of creation: to fashion the sublime miracle of the human face, the  mysterium tremendum of radiant female beauty, the veritable goddesses that beautiful women are; to bring this out of nothing, out of the void, and make it shine in noonday; to take such a miracle and put miracles again within it, deep in the mystery of eyes that peer out-the eye that gave even the dry Darwin a chill; to do all this, and to combine it with an anus that Shits! It is too much. Nature mocks us, and poets live in torture.
Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death
Posted by: raul
« on: June 10, 2019, 11:15:20 am »


Thank you for your words. Age means nothing as regards learning. I say this because although I am older than you I am the one who learns from you as I learn from Hentrich, Silenus, Ibra and others.

Those colleague of yours will suffer in due time the consequences of life. Indeed they are suffering
now. They just don´t realize that. Successful men and women in this world are trivial. False, really.

I also wanted to be successful but something happened. The horror of this human existence. Something awakened me.

You write about horror. Yes, being in this human body is horror enough. Our bodies are a prison where we witness the physical deterioration of our organs every day. Our organs atrophy at a full speed. This is nothing new. They tell me that I have to take care of my body with medications, therapy, exercise, meaningful work,etc. But all these suggestions depend on a good bank account or at least a very high salary. What is the result of this effort? I will pass like millions pass on this Earth. Old age and disease will make my physical building crumble at any moment.

Stay well.
Posted by: Silenus
« on: June 10, 2019, 10:35:38 am »


Could you provide us some detail on the current water crises occuring in certain areas of the Indian region?
Posted by: Holden
« on: June 10, 2019, 08:29:59 am »

Senor Raul,
I am so grateful to be able to exchange thoughts with you and to learn from you.I really hope that we could continue to do so at least for a few more years as I gain so much from you.

Every other day I feel the tug of the siren song of suicide.But I want to see how bad the life can get.I want to see how much they will humiliate me and disparage me.

How many times they will crucify me.
Yes, I suffer.I do not even know what nightmares tomorrow will bring for me.

Keep well.
Posted by: raul
« on: June 09, 2019, 04:41:49 pm »


Thank you for your recommendation. I have not read I was Dora Suarez by Derek Raymond. Again these words of yours should be inserted in a kind of pessimistic anthology: “We are all stuck in a horror movie/novel. The fools think they are in some kind of romantic comedy.”

Most would never understand that we are in freak show called life. I admit it also took years to realize this madness. I hope your colleagues realize that messing with you will lead them nowhere.

I saw three movies based on Stephen King´s books, Carrie, Thinner, and The Shining by Stanley Kubrick, and I read only one book The Dead Zone a long time ago in Spanish.

On Friday I read the news in where the journalist reported that a man is wanted by the police for trying to **** a female dog in Encarnación (a city near the border with Argentina). Awful story but true. I am sure Stephen King or Thomas Harris will find plenty of stories for their books in this country.

I remember Rust Cohle´s scene in True Detective where a criminal says: Time is a flat circle. An endless repetition of forces that we name good and evil in order to make sense of them. The world does not give a damn about these labels.

In the other response to your post I should have added that most, including me, must not possess the woman they penetrate. To ejaculate in no man's land. Nomadic semen or erratic semen, or ejaculating over the street in the parks and waiting for the birds to come and take it by air and fertilize it in a land unknown.

Be well.
Posted by: Holden
« on: June 09, 2019, 03:14:33 pm »

Senor Raul and Mr.Silenus,

I thank both of you for your posts from the bottom of my heart.
Horror ,for me, is not a distraction but a means to intensify philosophical thoughts.

I would recommend to both of you,if I may, a novel called Pet Semetary by Stephen King.
I know most of his books are no good.
But this one really is full of real life horror.
It's got an Antinatalist angle to it.Sort of.

A kid dies.The father tries to resurrect him as he is very ,very grief striken.
Only what comes back is no longer the sweet child that was lost..

I read it in 2017 when I was going through a terrible time due to the conspiracy of my office colleagues against me. It really resonated with me as it's about primal grief and loss.

We are all stuck in a horror movie/novel.
The fools think they are in some kind of romantic comedy.
Keep well.
Posted by: Silenus
« on: June 08, 2019, 12:32:15 pm »

Unfortunately for parents, life's zero-sum nature does not start and stop at the convinence of their child and it's upbringing. One looks at the world and says "but not my child!" They cannot admit the fallacy of denying the bitter fact that all beings suffer, some way or another.

Even though I agree with Ligotti that there has never been an ideal time to live, I can't help but wonder if I would trade the chaos of a hunter-gatherer lifestyle for the stagnant boredom of present-day civilization, complete with it's satisfaction of needs from money/storehouses of resources. This is just speculation, and maybe safe to say that neither one is truly preferable to the other.
Posted by: raul
« on: June 08, 2019, 09:09:24 am »


I was(am) also a pathetic liar because I lied to myself and I lied to others as well as others lied to me. It is a vicious cycle.
Yes, horror is the most honest gender in literature and movies, as you say. But most take it as a distraction. They will never see horror in everyday life. No, never. It would be too much to endure.

Most keep their eyes wide shut, citing the title of a movie. After all homo sapiens, the so-called the most sapient species on Earth is lying, betraying, manipulating, cheating, hiding from truths 24/7/365.

Stay safe.
Posted by: Holden
« on: June 08, 2019, 01:13:43 am »

Senor Raul,Mr. Ibra and Mr .Silenus,

I think horror is the most honest genre in literature and movies.I read an article by a man who says that he really appreciated the horror genre but stopped doing so after he had a kid as he was always afraid that something like that might happen to his kid.

I think that after becoming a father he also became a fraud and a liar.The most pathetic liar is the one who lies to himself.

I don't ever want to lie to myself.

It's as if there is an invisible and malevolent entity,a demon,if you like, who always follows me around and looks for opportunities to intensely torment me .

Keep well all of you.

Posted by: raul
« on: June 07, 2019, 08:39:12 pm »

To all the readers of this blog:

I hope you like Mistro Prison Cell by Norwegian hip hop Mistro.
Prison Cell.