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Posted by: raul
« on: July 27, 2021, 05:09:10 pm »


Thank your for your comments and the links. Unfortunately the video is not available.

Yes, the Paraguayan economy did very well in the 1970s. It was a different time. I think the left leaning elements of society were not very important here. In the 1970s the Stroessner regime did not have the stability problems that the other South American countries had.

Certainly you have nothing in common with your fellow country men, the Hindus. You are an outsider. You see and think too much.

From what you tell about India and its growing population makes me wonder how Klaus Schwab and its World Economic Forum and the globalist centers of power will deal with this issue.

It is easy for Pope Francis and his cardinals to speak from a golden palace in the Vatican City. No matter what the pope says people will continue to ffuck and bring babies into this insane world. Sex keeps this infernal world going.

Stay alert.

P.S. You and the readers of this blog may find this documentary interesting. Its name is Sea of Faith 5 and it is hosted by Don Cuppitt, a British Anglican pastor, I saw it last year.
Posted by: Holden
« on: July 27, 2021, 01:11:58 pm »

Don Raul,

Thanks for the message and the information.I am told that the Paraguayan economy was doing doing extremely well in the 1970s-was it because the regime suppressed the left-leaning elements of the society and was aligned with the laissez-faire approach?

Most of the time I am confused and do not know what to make of this world. The would-be mother-in-law of my young cousin is coming to visit his father after a week or so and my uncle has decided that till that day he would read the Hindu scriptures every single day to make sure that that the wedding date is finalised soon.
Truly, it is not exaggeration and no simile, when I say that we breed like rabbits here. While the leaders in the West say this:
Our so-called leaders tell us this:

As George Carlin says one should not get all worked up by reading such things, but should get a bag of popcorn and watch the approaching apocalypse.
The truth is no one reads the kind of philosophy that Schopenhauer associates with this land here anymore. They have not been reading it for a very long time.

They just blabber some kind of senseless mysticism and apparently, this mysticism also entails making a lot of babies.
I want to have nothing to do with them or their so-called mysticism. I would rather learn from you and Herr Hauser and Schopenhauer.

Kafka once wrote:“What do I have in common with Jews? I hardly have anything in common with myself, and really ought to go stand myself perfectly still in a corner, grateful to be able to breathe.”

Well, I could ask the same question-“What do I have in common with Hindus?

Take care.

PS- For you:
Posted by: raul
« on: July 26, 2021, 08:49:21 am »


Thank you for your words. Indeed this world is pure hell. And we are its prisoners.
Those who study these Gnostic issues say that there is a battle between good and evil both in heaven and on Earth. And the combat of heaven is reflected here on Earth many times and in an unusual way, in the occult. It is not a war that we can see with the eyes of the body and its battles happen in isolated, obscure and mysterious events.

Since World War II the kingdom of evil, they say, was awaiting an answer, a world of fallen angels, a road for liberation, a combat to the death until the end of times.

Yes, the combat between the kingdom of good and the kingdom of evil is a combat to the death. There is no other way, one of them at the end of times must perish forever.

Those who study Gnosticism also say that in the east the archons are called djinns or genies, archon comes from Greek and they are usually referred to as demons in our western culture. These creatures have been among us for many millennia and that they somehow control not only men but peoples and nations.

These entities have always been mistaken as demons in Christianity, in Islam as genies adopting the name of djinns. The best weapon of these genies has always been the confusion and the lack of information that exists about them. It is understood that that in many cultures these entities have also been confused as gods and human sacrifices have been made to them.

We can find that in pre-Columbian America human sacrifices were common in the pyramids suitable for this purpose. Even today some African tribes still maintain these entities as gods. Witches of these tribes speak and give testimonies that they have been chosen by the god of the tribe to protect it in exchange for favors that the rulers will demand from them throughout their lives.

We have been living in a paradise of fools, of fairy tales. We have been living in an archontic world, a parallel world, and their most powerful world was TV. Yes, TV has been the weapon of mind destruction.

Yes, Christians and, especially, Catholic politicians always talk of of the nuclear family as you say. But most of them are hypocrites. In 2008 Paraguay had as president a former Catholic bishop, Fernando Lugo, who was forced to admit later that he had an affair with a young woman and as a result he fathered a baby.

Later another woman, whose son was not recognized by the former bishop, said earlier that Lugo was a “phenomenon” due to the size of his member. There are other politicians and businessmen who behave in the same way. The current president Mario Abdo is not precisely an example of Christian behavior. It is part of the tradition here. It is through hypocrisy that these human sharks gain power.

I remember reading and watching on TV a little about the invasion of Afghanistan by the Soviet Union in the late 1980s.
I also read about Mikhail Gorbachev and his perestroika and glasnost. Then we had the fall of the Berlin Wall and the execution of Nicolai Ceasescu, the Romanian dictator in December of 1989 and also the invasion of Panama. We were and are far from international events. 1989 for this country meant the fall of the Stroessner regime in February of that year.

I heard of Thomas Malthus the British economist and Anglican pastor. What I understood is that he wrote that population growth will outrun the food supply and mankind will suffer wars, famines, and deaths if there were no limits to reproduction.

I know that India will surpass China in population. China has 1.44 billion and India 1.380. Well, it is understandable that the least populated country is the Vatican City with 799 inhabitants.

One of the first things I learned about India is that because of their religion people respect cows, calves, bulls and do not kill them because they are sacred animals while in Pakistan Muslims do not eat pork because it is forbidden.

Stay vigilant.
Posted by: Holden
« on: July 23, 2021, 10:36:18 am »

Don Raul,

Thanks for the message. I think it is important to keep one’s mind  beyond the reach of the Archons. But of course , the is not always possible.

Christians and ,especially, the political parties which proclaim themselves as Christian, emphasis the importance for the nuclear family.A husband, a wife and their 2.2 kids.
The problem is, even if we were to bracket the objective reality of their creed for the moment,their founder was a single man in a culture in which everyone got married in their teens and was constantly roaming all over the countryside without putting down his roots anywhere.

By the time, I could comprehend anything properly the erstwhile USSR could only be found in the books and so I wanted to request you to tell me if you remember the time period when USSR was still around and what ,if anything, did you think of it in the mid-1980s or the late 1980s.

While I would rather spend my limited time reading a philosopher than an political economist, I think, that there is one political economist who has almost been forgotten and who is coming back to haunt us soon-Malthus.

Most contemporary thinkers have written him off and they tend to think that the population bomb has been diffused, but I ,for one, believe that it is very much alive  and ticking. While China has managed to rein in its population, I think that, for us here, it might already be too late- the horse has bolted.

I might be writing this to you from hell. Let me go further- I might be writing this to you, from the the ninth circle of hell.

Take care.
Posted by: raul
« on: July 22, 2021, 09:55:22 am »


Thank you for your comments and the Save Our Seminarians (SOS) video clip.

As I told you once every post I write could be the last one.

I hope the actor, your neighbor, has stopped bothering you.

Sometimes I see dead cats in the streets. I admit I am not a fan of animals. I can barely endure human beings. But one thing I may have in common with dead cats in the streets is that one of these days my corpse might be found in a deserted street.

Yes, this is an insane world. The Gnostics believed that all states of reality were ruled by “the Archons—the immortal vassals of the Demiurge or Creator God—and comprised a cosmic labyrinth erected to corral the soul attempting to reach the Pleroma (or Fullness of the real Divinity).”

An evil deity rules in this world but most do not or will not understand. It goes agains their beliefs or their brainwashing.
I suppose those who go to the seminaries think they will study important things, as you say, and serve “God”. They too have been brainwashed from the moment their parents raised them in a religious environment. We are part of a world that has false wisdom.

It could have happened to me if my parents baptized me in the Catholic faith and decided to go to the seminary.
Do you happen to know any Catholic priests there?

The positive thing, in my view, is that this young man took the risk to denounce the priests involved in the abuse of seminarians in the North American College.

Most of us are very ignorant regarding the holy books. As you say people take them literally because their priests or pastors do not teach their parishioners. At secondary schools the history of religions is not part of the program. So the cycle of ignorance goes on and on.

In this world there is a little of everything. The holiest men you know are atheists. You will also find a few agnostics, Catholic, Jews, evangelicals, buddhists, or just ordinary people. Among the holiest men, if I can use the word, you have Abu-Ala-Al Maarri, Schopenhauer, Cioran, and a few others whose names I do not remember. Can I include you and Hentrich, Silenus and Ibra?

Pedro Rosillo is a Spanish youtuber and researcher. He is the author of a book El Arconte, a novel based on his research on the demiurge and the archons. I quoted some of his paragraphs in my posts. I saw one of his videos where a French shepherd, owner of thousands of sheep, explains how he deals with his flock. Fortunately there are subtitles in Spanish and so I translated what this shepherd said:

Hello everyone. Today we are at the end of Easter week, 2020. Look it is spring, the cherries are blooming, the dandelions… it is very beautiful.

There is yellow. Yellow is the most. In first place I introduce myself. I am a shepherd and I own thousands of sheep who obey me to down to your finger and also with the stick.My role as a shepherd is to protect them with love, so I feed them well, I take care of them because I know that a well-bred sheep, bred with love is the guarantee a silky wool, quality and a tender meat with a flavor beyond comparison.

This is certain. I love my sheep. Then why are my sheep happy,really happy when I skin them? Why don´t they react? Why don´t they react when I vaccinate them, when I sacrifice them before the altar of gastronomy?
There is a mistery, a mistery. Above all when we know that I am a fragile man that would not be a rival to a furious sheep, one furious sheep can kill me a strike. Therefore well here is the secret:

For a flock of thousands of sheep to be docile, obedient and compliant we only need to play with their fear or with their need for security. For example: When I need to skin or vaccinate them, or confine them or take them to the slaughterhouse, then I shout: Be careful there is a wolf! There is a wolf!

Here I play with (their) fear. “Run fast to the flock!, fast go to the shelter there!
Need for security. And here with a colletive psychosis in where they step on each other´s nails, they go to the flock without even thinking.

Because they are happy to find themselves with security and confined in the flock far from the wolf´s teeth. Fear shortcircuits reflexion, (and) makes their neurons explode and well seeing that a sheep does not have many neurons while its attention is focused is aimed at the wolf, I calmly, skin them, vaccinate them, tattooe them the thigh, chip the rebel sheep, ccastrate the bosses. Of course injecting them with medicines,etc.

When I finish my job I release them in small groups. Then it is true that they let themselves get skinned, they realize this, they see it but they are happy to have escaped from the wolf. They are skinned but still alive; therefore contented and happy. Then I make them bleat with all their heart when the night comes and I ask them to applaud me at 8 o´clock, time for the news report that tells them they escaped from a very great danger.

Of course there are always rebel and black sheep that are the smartest than the others. They understand and have found out my trick. Then they desperately explain to their sister sheep, their like-minded people that if the wolf eats only  two or three sheep, the shepherd is more dangerous,a lot more dangerous because all the sheep will end up being roasted on the table or over the Easter table.

We must expel these black sheep that do not want to get into the flock because they are rebels, free spirits. To those I show them my stick or make my dogs bite them, the best is to behead a black sheep in front of the others; this is super effective. For one sacrificed sheep I frighten thousands who become sweet, sweet as little lambs. I kill one and I subdue thousands. This is the way I suffocate the slightest whim of revolt.

There are many politicians who come to ask me for advice despite the fact that I am a simple shepherd, a poor shepherd but if they ask me this is because we can use these methods of the shepherds with humans.
In effect the difference between the behavior of the sheep and human behavior is that is because there is no difference.
This is the secret, the secret is here; it is not in any other place.

Then when we want to pass unpopular laws, that are not agreeable we do it when the population is afraid. For example we talk of climate crisis, debt crisis, financial crisis, tempests, heat waves,terrorism,health crisis, etc.
Because of the coronavirus is where they play with fear we have been able to lock down not only thousands of sheep but thousands of millions of people on the entire planet over the entire Earth.

Humans confined like animals, dehumanized humans and what worst, most disgusting, the most dramatic is that the the rebel bosses shut their mouths. The big bosses also accept the lockdown.

Then the only way out of this Macchiavellian trap would be a collective awakening. Then I personally don’t waste time in giving more explanations, it is not worth it. It is not really worth it at all.

Because when I explain the strategy for which the sheep are the victims the sheep are already aware so therefore all the explanations are really useless or I find myself with troublesome sheep. And if the are troublesome sheep, they will not understand anything I tell them.   Because they are troublesome sheep.

Therefore you have to be careful because the troublesome sheep is not to blame, they are troublesome, that is all. It is not their fault.

Goodbye for the next video. Think of subscribing and spread the video because I will present myself for the next presidential elections and I need many voters.

And I say: Long live me! Your future dictator president. Choose well. Choose me. Vote for me. So long.   

Stay safe.
Posted by: Kaspar Hauser
« on: July 22, 2021, 03:19:42 am »

Holden - You express your sentiments with a renewed intensity that is refreshing to read.  I mean, you really don't pull any punches.  It is something.   I am honored that you have made this message board your haven.  I only wish your articulating-consciousness would spread into more of the population the world over.  If only there were a way to infect others with your "bad attitude" !

Quote from: Don Raul
Here, you see, we have no idea of privacy. Whether I get the vaccine or not is my problem but with this madness people do not understand that. We have been tamed like dogs by the mass media. Dr.Josef Goebbels, the Nazi propaganda minister, would have been proud of his Paraguayan pupils.

I had been researching for explanations for why certain species of animal creatures, including human animal creatures, might crave privacy.  You see, living where we are is like living in a fish tank.   This irks me, and it has rattled my nerves in almost every residence I have lived.   I respect that many if not all animals crave "hiddenness" or invisibility.

Since I have nowhere to hide as a some kind of ninja, I openly blast an amplifier.   Maybe this is a remnant of why birds crow-call and whistle ... marking a wide breadth of their PRESENCE.

I found Is the need for privacy evolutionary?

The following are just a couple scenes from an Apes film, not relevant to the need for privacy, so you are not missing anything in that respect, Don Raul.
Posted by: Holden
« on: July 21, 2021, 12:32:20 pm »

Don Raul,

Thanks for your message. A cat can have close to 150 kittens in its lifetime and most of them end up dying horrible deaths. They are confused most of the time and hardly know what to do with themselves.

Some might like to imagine that if one goes to a seminary he would be studying important things and serving “God”. Well,one could not be further from the truth.
Most of the students there are forced to sleep with the priests:

I think you are right in  believing, Don Raul, that an evil deity is in charge of this world and the priests this young man in the video refers to ,serve that deity, he was deluded when he entered the seminary and paid for it dearly. I do not agree with him in one respect-he would not  be able to bring about any kind of lasting changing. Not if he campaigned for a hundred years.

If one is believes in God, the best cure for that ailment, would be to visit a church/temple and one would be disabused very soon.
I can see why Mr. Gary goes on and on about the stupid theists. This is an insane planet.

The holiest men I know are atheists. That is the gospel truth.I can see that some of these so-called holy books might have some good parables,but I am afraid, most of the people are imbeciles and take them way too literally. The guy in the video looks like a very decent chap who has no business walking around in a world like this.

Well, he reminds me of clueless kitten.No wonder the ruffians targeted him.Heck, even the shrewdest of men is no match for Existence.

Take care.

Posted by: raul
« on: July 20, 2021, 06:54:06 am »


Thank you for the picture of the gift of life and the excerpts from the Active Side of Infinity by Carlos Castaneda.

Indeed, we are prisoners of these demonic predators that came from the depth of the cosmos. They are our lords and masters. They are vampires. They rear us in human coops, humaneros and their food is always available to them, Don Juan explains to Castaneda.

We are like chickens born in captivity.

From my point of view there are aliens.We, human beings, are abortions. I undertand this is not a pretty thing to say. And I am afraid we are not accidents. Life is tragic.

We belong to the homo sapiens sapiens; a sadistic species. Most people only care about procreating and creating more suffering and pain. I know that because in the past I also wanted to become a father and have children. Fortunately that did not happen. I am not marriage material.

When we are young we wrongly believe that the world revolves around us but as we grow older the world is discarding us like toilet paper.

Life only gives us nightmares and Earth is a prison. We become slaves from the cradle to the grave. We are puppets of a diabolical programmer or programmed farm animals.

Stay alert.
Posted by: Holden
« on: July 18, 2021, 08:09:23 pm »

Don Raul,
Thanks for your message.
This is for your:

Don Juan’s revelation regarding the Archons to Carlos Castenada
"The Active Side of Infinity" - Carlos Castaneda - Excerpted from pg 217:
Don Juan said, “This is the appropriate time of day for doing what I am asking you to do. It takes a moment to engage the necessary attention to do it. Don’t stop until you catch that fleeting black shadow.”
I did see some strange fleeting black shadow projected on the foliage of the trees. It was either a shadow going back and forth or various fleeting shadows moving side-to-side or straight up in the air. They looked lie fat black fish to me, enormous fish. It was as if gigantic swordfish were flying in the air. I was engrossed in the sight. Then, finally, it scared me. It became to dark to see the foliage, yet I could still see the fleeting black shadows.
“What is it, Don Juan?” I asked.
“[Long ago, the native sorcerer/shamans of Mexico] discovered that we have a companion for life,” he said, as clearly as he could. “We have a predator that came from the depths of the cosmos, and took over the rule of our lives. Human beings are its prisoners. The predator is our lord and master. It has rendered us docile; helpless. If we want to protest, it suppresses our protest. If we want to act independently, it demands that we don’t do so.”
It was very dark around us, and that seemed to curtail any expression on my part. If it had been daylight, I would have laughed my head off. In the dark, I felt quite inhibited.
“It’s pitch black around us,” Don Juan said, “but if you look out of the corner of your eye, you will still see fleeting shadows jumping all around you.”
He was right. I could still see them. Their movement made me dizzy. Don Juan turned on the light, and that seemed to dissipate everything. Don Juan said, “You have arrived, by your effort alone, to what the shamans of ancient Mexico called the topic of topics. I have been beating around the bush all this time, insinuating to you that something is holding us prisoner. Indeed we are held prisoner! This was an energetic fact for the sorcerers of ancient Mexico.”
Why has this predator taken over in the fashion that you’re describing, Don Juan?” I asked. “There must be a logical explanation.”
“There is an explanation,” Don Juan replied, “which is the simplest explanation in the world. They took over because we are food for them, and they squeeze us mercilessly because we are their sustenance. Just as we rear chickens in chicken coops, gallineros, the predators rear us in human coops, humaneros. Therefore, their food is always available to them.”
I felt that my head was shaking violently from side to side. I could not express my profound sense of unease and discontentment, but my body moved to bring it to the surface. I shook from head to toe without any volition on my part. I heard myself saying, “No, no, no, no. This is absurd, Don Juan. What you’re saying is something monstrous. It simply can’t be true, for sorcerers, or for average men, or for anyone.”

I had some coffee and could not sleep during the night for a single second. Extremely sensitive to caffeine, I think.
Just taking it one moment at a time. Insomnia is pretty bad for depression, I guess. Cioran tells us that.

My cellphone charger is out of order and on-line sellers provide fake ones so I would have to go out and get one.The zipper of my jeans is not working so I sewed a small hook under the fly of  the jeans and hope that it would keep it from falling apart.The corporations sell trousers with zippers these days and not buttons because they know it far more difficult to mend a zipper than to sew a button and they want to sell as many trousers as possible. Well, I would sew hooks then and wear the trousers till every single stitch breaks open.There is no hook though, in my view, that could keep one’s life from falling apart.

My uncle is trying to bully his son (who is about 10 years younger than me) to get married.He does not have any job.
Maybe there are no aliens. Maybe we are smarts things in this Universe. Just a one-time accident. That would be so great.

Take care.
Posted by: raul
« on: July 17, 2021, 05:18:58 pm »


Thank you for the links. I hope to watch these movies some day. I do not have TV set.

The last thing I watched was a documentary about U.S. author Maury Terry who wrote a book called Ultimate Evil because a relative invited me.

The book was an investigation about David Berkowitz, the so-called Son of Sam who between 1976 and 1977 killed eight people with a .44 caliber weapon in New York. He believed that this guy was not alone in the killings and was also part of satanic group. He also said that satanic killings started already in 1974 because he mentioned the brutal death of a young woman called Arlis Perry inside a church in North Dakota. He said the following:

“Arlis' head was facing forward, toward the main altar. Her legs were spread wide apart, and she was **** from the waist down. The legs of her blue jeans were spread-eagled upside down across her calves, purposely arranged in that manner. Viewed from above, the resulting pattern of Arlis' legs and those of the inverted blue jeans took on a diamond-like shape.
Arlis' blouse was torn open and her arms were folded across her chest. Placed neatly between her breasts was an altar candle. Completing the desecration, another candle, thirty inches long, was jammed into her vaagina. But that wasn't all: she'd also been beaten and choked.
However, none of that butchery caused her death. Arlis Perry died because an ice pick had been rammed into her skull behind her left ear; its handle protruded grotesquely from her head.”

Your father really insists on your getting married. He should respect your decision but unfortunately that is not the case.
In one of your last post you wrote that “In many cases, during the abortion in the final stage of pregnancy, they fail to abort the baby, and the baby gets born and then they kill off the new-born baby.”  Although it does not surprise me it is still a piece of disturbing information.

Take care.
Posted by: Holden
« on: July 17, 2021, 09:43:02 am »

Senor Raul,

Thanks for your message. Wonderful link to the article about Bahnsen.

Lars von Trier is someone whose art I greatly appreciate and I think he is someone who refuses to be “woke”.

If you have not watched these movie already,I would like to recommend to you (and to Herr Hauser), his “Depression Trilogy”:

Last year my parents made me talk to a few girls over the telephone as they were trying to set me up with them. One of them, strangely,looked a bit like Kirsten Dunst,she had blue eyes, which is extremely rare for Indians ,but then again, she was from the extreme north Indian region(foothills of the Himalayas), and while she told my parents that she is fine with getting married to me, I told her that mine is a transferable job and while ,I may be in a big city at present, I might be transferred to a small town tomorrow and then our would-be kids would have to study in really bad schools, and while she did not buy my excuse, when I did not call her up for many months(despite the fact that my parents kept pestering me to call her up),she got engaged with someone .Yesterday, my dad told me that she is engaged now .Her fiance is an officer with the Indian Army.

Do I regret saying No to her ? No and again no. I have seen the end, Senor Raul, believe me. If I would have said yes, something very similar to what happens in Melancholia would have transpired.When I say to you that I have seen the end… I really mean it.
I did feel sad when I my sadist father mentioned her to me over the telephone, but ,not because I said to No to her. It was because I felt sorry for her when I thought of her as a mortal creature. She might be very happy now….but I have seen the end.

But it is very clear to me that I could not have saved her. I cannot save anyone.

I am not a Saviour.

I have seen the end.

Take care.
Posted by: raul
« on: July 17, 2021, 08:32:54 am »


Thank you for your comments, the article in pdf and the video. My computer is not working well so I cannot download it now. I am not allowed to watch the video here.

I am also a bug who will be crunched someday.

Now that I am growing older I get more depressed.

From what I have heard probably this is the beginning of the end of the Castro regime. I already heard months ago that there were protests there but now the situation is growing worse. If it had not been for the Soviets the Castro regime would not have survived. After the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991 the Castro brothers opened the country to tourism, specially sex tourism, to get dollars and most of the exiles in Miami send money to their families. U.S dollars keep the economy going. What a contradiction!

The Cuban president is Miguel Díaz-Canel but clearly who has the power is Raúl Castro. I read in, a digital Spanish newspaper, that Nicolas Maduro, the Venezuelan president sent his own plane, an Airbus A 319-166(CJ) to Cuba.I also read in that the Cuban regime is going to put minors to repress the protesters.I hope the Cubans get rid of this dictatorship.

Stray dogs and cats must be suffering but I think those monkeys in laboratories must be really going through a lot of pain until they die horribly.

I did not sleep well before and since the so-called pandemic started I have become more insomniac.

I think many people,as you say,watch horror movies or read horror books to mitigate anxiety.
Are people religious here? Only a minority is religious, I mean, they go to to church, take part in activities, do pastoral work, and go to pilgrimages every year. The others pray to Mammon, the god of money, the true god of this world.

Stay alert.

P.S. In reddit I found this article written by freelance writer Sam Woolfe. You and others who are knowlegeable about philosophical issues might find it interesting.
Posted by: Holden
« on: July 16, 2021, 10:06:38 am »

Senor Raul,

Thanks for your message.Sometimes when I am depressed I imagine that I have died and I am on a planet all alone and just read and study and do my own thing and no one disturbs me ever.

There are a lot of street dogs around my house and they bark loudly the whole night long. I guess they are suffering too.

I read that for some people watching horror movies or reading horror books could be a form of therapy and help them to mitigate anxiety.
Do you find it easy to fall asleep in the night? I was an insomniac during the last few months but now its a little better.

The hour between 3 and 4 a.m is called the witching hour and that is when I was falling asleep ,but ,somehow, I have managed to get a handle on it.

You might want to check this out as it is quite close  to your country:

Do you think the Cubans can overthrow the Communist regime?

In the evening, I feel quite strange.Maybe its because its neither day nor night and while the Sun is no longer visible, it is still not quite dark yet. Maybe I would die at this particular time someday.

Are the people over there ,generally speaking, religious? Over here almost everyone is after the money. The only god they pray to.

As regards the libido, some days my sadness kills it, sometimes for days on end, I feel no attraction towards any woman. The sadness is too intense. But on other days,while the sadness is still there, I feel attracted towards women.

I am just a bug who would be crunched someday.

For you:

Take care.
Posted by: raul
« on: July 15, 2021, 05:34:48 pm »


Thank you for your words, the video clip and the link to the article. It is an interesting read. In the article Bishop Stephan Hoeller says that “We believe in overcoming darkness, not plunging into it.” Then he says “We can smell the flowers --- maybe even pick a few along the way. But we must keep walking.”

As far as I know there are no Gnostic churches in this country. Maybe there are people who study Gnosticism on their own.

I am sad and bitter and resentful most of the time. The couples seem happy even in this time of pandemic. After all they “vaccinate” each other in the heat of the night. That is what I understand.

Even if you were dropped on another planet life suffering and pain will await you. The stork knew exactly where to drop you. Earth is the perfect place to suffer and die.

It is easy to come to this world but it is difficult to exit this world.

We are predators on a lower scale. What is the purpose of humanity? To be exploited by somebody who gets benefits of our own existence?

Do we think that at the end of the sacrifice of so many generations suffering exploitation and slavery will lead to some kind of paradise? Was it worth it? Why so much sacrifice, so much pain? What is the meaning of life? Enjoy the pleasure of the senses?

Jacques Lacarriere in his book on the Gnostics say that “All the beings of our world are, in the eyes of the Gnostics, the sediment of a lost heaven.”

Priests, pastors and rabbis are human after all. They crave for attention and praise like politicians, celebrities and businessmen.

In these times I doubt most Catholics believe in the devil. They are Catholics because their parents had them baptize in the church when they were babies. My parents were Catholic but they decided otherwise in regards to me and my sister.

Stay alert.
Posted by: Holden
« on: July 15, 2021, 11:14:39 am »

‘As you approach the truth, your solitude will increase…..’ - michel houellbecq
Posted by: Holden
« on: July 15, 2021, 10:03:34 am »

Senor Raul,

Thank you for the message. In the evening ,after the Sun has set, but its  still not dark, I look at the sky, dull blue, and it looks sad and casts a melancholic pallor over the town.

I do not know what to make of this life.It appears strange and abhorrent to me. Thank you for sharing your knowledge about Gnosticism and the Bogomils.

Are there any extant Gnostic churches in Paraguay like this one:

I am sad most of the time. Most people say that it is the single loners like myself who are strange but the truth is that it is the couples who copulate and procreate who are the truly weird ones.

Maybe I am on the wrong planet,maybe the stork dropped me off at the wrong place. I look at the birds flying outside and I think their existence and my existence is equally pointless.

I think people who become priests are ,generally, deeply dishonest because they need to be in the public view almost all the time and one cannot manage that without be quite dishonest. I think atheists ,often, are more spiritual,than the priests.

Do the Catholics in Paraguay believe in Devil?
I wish I could spend the whole of my life by staying hidden. But that is quite difficult to pull off.

In many cases, during the abortion in the final stage of pregnancy, they fail to abort the baby, and the baby gets born and then they kill off the new-born baby.
Take care.
Posted by: raul
« on: July 15, 2021, 07:41:20 am »


Yes, I am not alone in experiencing angry and lustful thoughts. And as you say even the so-called saints, hermits and anchorites experienced lustful thoughts.

Yes, most men and women are really vermin. I am one of them. Why should I exclude myself? As I say we are demonic beings. We are the offspring of our father, the Prince of Darkness; we are the projection of the Demiurge.
I underlined the following words by author Jacques Lacarriere:

The Gnostics, on the contrary, were the only ones to adopt a logical attitude - a radical and onerous one, but nevertheless consistent with their deepest feeling: the conviction that as thinking hominids they were totally alienated creatures, right down to their very encephalic cells, and condemned to lifelong enslavement, from which only a full awareness of man's inert and slumbering condition could save them.

The Bogomils, as far as I remember, believed the devil was the lord and creator of this world. They found support, for instance, in the Gospel according to Matthew, where the devil says to Jesus: ‘All these things I will give you, if you will fall down to worship me ’ (4: 9). The Bogomils believed that the devil offered Jesus things in the world that he, the devil, had created, and therefore the devil was master of the world.

Do I need to consult a psychiatric or a therapist for these words I am writing? Most would say I do need to see a psychiatrist. But the psychiatrist must be versed in Gnosticism really understand what is going on.

Although this has nothing to do with your comments about men and women, it reminds me of a documentary I saw about Libyan leader Colonel Muammar Gaddafi. In 1984 a Libyan who studied in the U.S. and returned to Libya was executed in front of schoolchildren in a basketball stadium.

The guy was hanged but he did not die right away. So a woman got up from her chair and grabbed the guy´s legs, pulling him down until he died. Her name was Huda Ben Amer. The executed guy was Al-Sadek Hamed Al-Shuwedy who campaigned against Gadafi´s rule. Later the Huda became the mayor of Benghazi. She was known as Huda the Executioner.

Huda was a devil in female form.

Take care.
Posted by: Holden
« on: July 14, 2021, 10:35:44 am »

Senor Raul,

Thanks for your message. I do not think you are alone in experiencing angry and lustful thoughts. They are extremely common and I am not sure even the so-called saints never experienced it.Important thing is that you never gave in and never procreated.
No one knows for sure what the heck it is all about, this thing or process, which we are experiencing. The most honest and deep thinkers like Schopenhauer could give us a rough approximation but that is pretty much it.

The problem is, most men, are really vermin. I wish to stay as far away from them as possible. My whole life has been one (very painful) surreal movie. Maybe I would die in the middle of a painful and surreal thought.
I do not understand how a man and a woman can wish to stay together, neither do I wish to understand. They pull each other down most of the time.

Some people who studied with me were asking me to join a Whatsapp group they created ,and while I said I would join, I never would, because I know quite well what kind of milieu the group would offer-one of back biting and cheap gossip and jealousy.
Thanks but no thanks.

I wish to live unknown to as large an extent as possible and die that way too.Those scoundrels are popping one baby after another and what’s more, they are damn proud of it. I want none of that toxicity in my life, not to mention the fact that quite a few of them are certified sociopaths and psychopaths.

Take care of your eyes and keep well.
Posted by: raul
« on: July 13, 2021, 06:55:07 pm »


Thank you for your words. I hope you are having all your medications for the TB available.

I will try to be cautious if some people ask me if I got the vaccine. We have an expression in Spanish, Que sea lo que Dios quiera, or May it be the will of God. What I mean to say is that I will face the consequences of whatever happens.

From what I understand is that you will be rescued by the good god for not having obeyed the Demiurge and his archontic henchmen. You did not father a child who would have been a slave and victim on this planet.You have not played Russian roulette with a human life.

Of course reincarnation might be an illusion.The best thing is not to be born again.

You or anyone can have sex with the ladies because like any human being you were designed with pleasure sensors. But the best thing is not to have relationships because no woman can insult, abuse or attack you. You are not attached to anyone.

In my case I will be punished and therefore I will be sent back to this hellish place called Earth. Although I am not a parent I dreamed of having sex with married women. I look at 20 year-old girls with extreme lust. I cannot stop thinking of their juicy boobs and their little triangles,so to speak.

My thoughts are filled with sex 24/7/365. I felt happy when a misfortune fell on people I did not like. Schadenfreude is the term for these feelings. The Demiurge is a giant devil and I am a little devil.

Like you I wish I could go to a desert or a forest where there would be no snoopy neighbors or acquaitances but I live in the city so there is no escape.

Stay safe.
Posted by: Holden
« on: July 13, 2021, 09:41:36 am »

Senor Raul,

Thanks for your message and I hope that you are feeling well. It is true that the times we are living through are quite terrible.  The fact that you already have told some people that you won’t ever get vaccinated is water under the bridge and ,going forward, one could  be extra cautious.

In the Gnostic view you will avoid reincarnation in this human farm.-Senor Raul
In light of the Gnosticism,what happens to them then?

Neighbours are almost always bad. I wish I could stay in a desert or a forest where there would be no neighbours to bother me.N for neighbour and N for nosey.

When I was a schoolboy, I stayed with my maternal grandmother, who sent me to different tutors because she was afraid that if my academic performance fell, then my parents would take me away from her. I would often travel with some of the other boys to reach the tutor’s place( who was a terrible teacher) and returned back together too and on our way back ,we would often sit under  Indian lilac trees and shoot the breeze and  I remember that there was a very big and white mosque nearby.

A strange place. While I understood next to nothing in those days, I remember very distinctly that I found it all very strange. Nothing was “natural” to me then.Or now.

Only solitude comes naturally to me. One sticks around because the body demands a piece of bread and so one is required to put up with a great deal of suffering and humiliation and one wonders ,naturally, if there might not be way to make this demand less insistent.

Take care and stay safe.