I think no matter what you do, you need to have a more cordial relation with yourself. Of course that's never going to make you more comfortable exchanging ideas and discoveries freely, as such obstacles are not you but very real. I wish there were no psychiatrists and scholars either, but sophists, at first sophists were well regarded, until philosophy degenerated into debates of social usefulness and democracy, what else among men of cruel nature? Modern democracy owes more to native americans that to the greeks, they gave it a sense of freedom, but for how long? I still can't pm you. There are things I wish I could talk to you about. Thanks for sharing your paper with the world, an homo normalis would never be that honest. Society at large is not genuine, but your views are too aggressive, I'll write about my bunny. I think suicide is a particular deviation that gets trained by itself and sustains itself once it got thru, don't let it get to you. The thing in itself is Your own disease, just let it relax, acept evil if you have faith, trust your own reactions, they just need protection from you. Animals are like a lower class, so it takes very profund insights and a long adaptation to understand them, this is something my bunny taught me: you are not more effective in good with more strength, learn to be softer at soft areas, and as hard as you want in others, learn from physiology and animals, and that humans can be evil in a way that they mess up with life: a hen is like an egg producing machine, they are not like bunnies at all, I've opened hens up to eat them, it's not a normal physiology anymore, they're screwed up if abandonned in nature, they're really innocent, and still sadistic among each other, it's their physiology and mimic, they pick on each other in a particular way, and they are clueless, they are trusting like babies and fragile, and feel emotions. There is no such thing as death, it's why nobody understands it, and why animals don't understand it beyond terror, it's a living state questioning itself in humans who have that luxury and idea, a free animal would just leave and go play freely or live it's life, because their lower class can't afford such questions, or they are useless, they're just a trick of assimilation and induced passivity, somebody somewhere gives people these ideas to keep a hold of them. Animals don't accept the idea that they can die, they would immediatly see that it's just bad and try harder to live or run away.