Author Topic: Russian Author Zamyatin  (Read 100 times)

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Russian Author Zamyatin
« on: May 15, 2019, 09:50:51 am »

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Henry the Fool

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Re: Russian Author Zamyatin
« Reply #1 on: December 11, 2019, 12:16:03 pm »
I am just going over notes from 2008, and I came across these quotes, more relevant today than ever:

"Truth is the first thing that present day literature lacks.  The writer has drowned himself in lies, he is too accustomed to speak prudently, with a careful look over his shoulder."  (The Day and the Age, 1924)

" … the inner world: those spiritual apartments to which we are reluctant to admit strangers."

Then I write:  I will acknowledge this Zamyatin as one of my HEROES.

This is written in H-130, the file I am going through now to see how how much reality can be handled.  There were severe mishaps for which all parties have "gotten over" where we can each accept ourselves as having some kind of PTSD (stress disorder = shell shock ---> "shot out").  Our senses of humor have saved us, somehow; but the emotions involved, compounded by the alcohol, might be too psychologically painful to grapple with.  It all depends on one's perspective.  I am struggling to write to the future as Orwell hinted to do in 1984.

If I am writing to the future, then all these dramatic explosions between ourselves and those in our "monkey-sphere" might serve merely to document the actual lived-chaos of day-to-day existence.  There are coherent notes from my work in the library. 

I will post a link when H-130 (The Idiot Papers, Book 2) is uploaded.

Zamyatin haunts me.  I have burned most of my writings since they were unable to make it passed my own sensitive ego.  I could not bare to present myself "at my worst."  I may have been courageous in gathering some notes for my "message in the bottle" to the future, but I lacked the courage it would have taken to expose more of my inner world.

Hell, Carl Jung's family would not release his diaries to the public.  The press would make minced meat out of him, especially since today's public lacks the deep psychological "freedom" they were experiencing at the time.   It would be misunderstood, as surely as I will be made out to look like a bipolar alcoholic albino, which science may one day end up validating that this is most likely what I actually am.  All words.  Even were science to name my particular "mutation-state," no one will be able to deny that this "thing-in-itself" had an inner world which the artificial "media generated hallucination" does not have access to.

The revolutionaries in Amerika used to say, "the revolution will not be televised."  Well, evidently, there are parts of our inner worlds that refuse to be "alphabetized" or "mathematized" or even "quantified."

We are sentient meat with "personalities," but hose personalities are merely a thin façade maintained by constant feeding, sleeping, and even medical attention.  It seems the personality does not survive certain "states" our organism can and most likely will experience in our "lifeworld" and "lifetime."

The quotation marks are annoying to me as well, but I cannot deny the Korzybkian value of italicized words, to make clear I am using these words in a specific, often scientific/technical, context.

Schopenhauer advises us to "enjoy our higher mental faculties," but those faculties are supported by the dire primitive/urgent demands of the organism.   Human animals, especially when maybe somewhat "over educated," may be more prone to hypersensitivity and anxiety attacks, as the brutal world, as Senor Raul has reminded us, does not exist in a classroom or a textbook or a C++ Conference Stadium.

The world has many creepy rooms in it, and yet, "the show must go on?"

I would suggest taking up a pen with an actual notebook before or even while contemplating suicide.  Our brains will always come up with this as a candidate for "solution to all my problems."   Hell, many who have impacted history have died in this manner.  Some Native aborigines of North America preferred being filled with bullets than to be subdued and held in captivity at the mercy of jailers to sustain their organic life.

There is more to "BEING" than eating and shiiting.

I am not so brave, so I am working on how to keep my head together when dealing with authorities.  Too much chaos out there.   For all I know, many on police forces have psychological and emotional issues themselves, but go left untreated since their "quirks" may help them function with less empathy, so that they are trained to treat each individual with "emotional problems" [EVERYONE! god-damnit] the same way - as dangerous.   Meanwhile, the lunatics are still running the asylum, and I wouldn't be surprised if the fiercest criminals are the hench-men of the most organized prison-guards.   

What do I know?  Let's be honest, I'm just a punk, what the knuckle-draggers call a "chump."   At least that's what I am pretending to be so everyone just leaves me alone.  I have enough to deal with just being me.

No matter what society would categorize me as, they can't deny that I have had moments of intense coherency; but the animal man is not so easily wrapped up into a "self-model."   We are living organic eating-shiiting-tubes with bad breath (tobacco and coffee).  Why must one write as though one had to always feel ashamed of our animal funk?
« Last Edit: December 11, 2019, 12:26:48 pm by Kaspar Heinrich »
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

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