Senor Raul,
Thanks for the response. You mention the Russian writer Tolstoy, I have read most of his short stories, at least the prominent ones and also his novel,War and Peace. I would like to read his Confessions wherein he is said to have written something to the effect that he might wanted to end it all but finally he did not go through with it because he ,in some fashion, found "God".
In one of my recent posts, I mentioned the desert fathers who led secluded lives in the desert and just thought about existence the whole day long.As Cioran, says, existence counts on us on not thinking too much or too deeply upon it,that is the only way it could perpetuate itself.
I remember when I must have been around 17, waking up in the middle of the night and reading War and Peace.That was quite an experience.At that point of time I was not ready to meet you and Herr Kaspar, that was to come later, much later. Perhaps I would not even have appreciated what the two of you have to say, back then. But I still remember writing in a note-book, some melancholy lines,from the novel. There are quite a few of them in fact,in there, if memory serves. There is this one fellow called Pierre who is ,on the one hand trying to kill Napoleon on his own and on the other hand is having some strange and weird mystical experiences.Thanks for reminding me about this.
I just looked it up and I think I might have found the very lines I wrote in my little note book circa 2003.
"Rustic trees, your dark branches shed gloom and melancholy upon me."
" On another page he drew a tomb, and wrote:
*Death gives relief and death is peaceful.
Ah! from suffering there is no other refuge."
Well,take care and I hope your eyes are better now.