Author Topic: Mistro Prison Cell  (Read 588 times)

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Holden

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Re: Mistro Prison Cell
« Reply #15 on: September 28, 2019, 07:43:56 am »
To Herr Kaspar and Senor Raul,

My coughing has stopped for the moment. I took some medicines prescribed by  a doctor I contacted online. That’s saved me a lot of time and it was cheap too.I hate going to hospitals.I feel that the time is slipping away way too fast. Its Saturday and the next thing I know, its Monday already. They say most of the suicides are committed on Wednesday. Didn’t Keynes say that by this time of the century we would be working for just a few hours in a work week? Well, for all his intelligence, he turned out to be wrong.

Cioran was from Romania but lived most of his adult life in France and wrote all of his books in French, Beckett was from Ireland and he also lived in France and wrote in French. Kafka lived in Czech speaking region,but wrote in German. Herr Kaspar is, ethnically, a German, but his family has been in the US for quite a few generations now and so he writes in English. It’s all mixed up,muddled up,shook up world ,isn’t it?









I have been studying Functions. I find the topic challenging and yet not so intimidating that I cannot comprehend it. My parents are talking about money and buying new household goods all the time. They have a good slave in me.Yes, but I like to read Cioran.Its only now that I have beginning to understand what he really meant.
On the telly, the whole day long, they are running storing about India Pakistan tussle and my father loves to watch them and root, obviously, for India. I am not bothered about the news much. I’d rather do some maths,read Cioran.
The prescription drugs in the body have stopped the coughing fit that started about three weeks back but have made me slightly jittery. Well, I will take the jitters over the coughing fit.Herr Kaspar is right. If could stick with maths for a few years and remain away from alcohol, I would have a treasure trove in my mind. Its uncanny because right before Herr Kaspar wrote that post about remaining away from alcohol,I had been thinking of liquor. Whether it was the coughing fit or something else which made me think of alcohol, I don’t know. But yes, it was uncanny.
I had a few dreams last night and would write about them in the germane section
I am just a sad little green  tortoise  who crawls and crawls..

Haywire Baboonery

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Re: Mistro Prison Cell
« Reply #16 on: September 29, 2019, 10:51:32 am »
response to A Future at Jeopardy:

Parents are over-rated, especially in the 10 Commandments.

I dare say the Grandfathers of the Entire Universe (the Elder) are over-rated, the whole lot of 'em.

That music put me in a defiant mood.  Subtle?  The Great Earth Mother Herself may be over-rated, and it may be a rare man, indeed, who has allowed his heart's true feelings ever be correctly perceived or conceived by the intellect.

We might be shocked to know how our heart were to sound were it able to articulate its contents, its data, its "feedback" "INPUT" === representation.

What is the heart's representation of the world?

I'm not talking about the mushy tender romanticized "wishy-washy" tender feelings, but mainly the unspeakable hatreds: such as the resentment one might feel toward a father's hand directing his walking by a squeeze on the neck, the resentment a child feels sulking in a corner after being "intellectually/psychically/physically" bullied by an arrogant or ignorant adult or parent.

There is a certain righteous indignation most all children (all of us at one time) have experienced in the world of thugs and brutes dictating the actions of the adults in their world.  Well, it's a bit like Holden's "Joker."

Let it fester?  Let it just keep building up, all the righteous indignation?

Anyway, I'll be driving my mom to mass, taking books, pencil, paper, in the spirit of Raskolnikov-with-maths-book, trying to elevate from the madness with a few holy moments of reflection, maybe even making it down to the ocean if I can get through Ophra Winfrey's and her neighbors' "beach fronts".    ;) :-\
He [Arthur Schopenhauer] has been the most radical of all troublemakers. He was defiant. ~ (Marcuse?)

"Learning math is never a waste of time." ~ Ivan Savov

"Programming is understanding."  ~ Kristen Nygaard

Holden

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Re: Mistro Prison Cell
« Reply #17 on: September 29, 2019, 01:57:46 pm »
Herr Kaspar and Senor Raul,

During the very first year of being a slave ,that is,of being employed back in ’09, I was living in a small dingy room in a third rate hotel. I was reading a lot of Bukowski those days.I still think he is a great writer. He said things as they are to a very large extent.

I was working in one of the north-western states of the country and in the winter it gets really cold there. Once the space heater I was using to keep the room warm ended up setting the room on fire,as there were newspapers everywhere in the room.But what’s the point in reading the news? No point at all. It’s the same thing over and over again.

Most of the protagonists of Bukowski, like the author himself, like their drink. But I,well, I don’t think the fundamental problems of life could be tackled with a drink. I mean,there is a kind of pain which is so deeply buried in my soul that I don’t think any kind of drug or drink could ever possibly reach it,let alone cure it.Metaphysical malaise cannot be treated with material medicine. Yes,well, if only I could find a way to disappear into the pages of a book..maybe a maths book.I’d be alright then.

As Cioran says ,solitude is so addictive that evey encounter with a human being can feel like  crucifixion.

My maternal uncle ,my mum’s eldest sibling,liked to drink very much. He died when he was still in his mid-forties. He never really had a regular job so the entire family always considered him as the black sheep. He liked to read a lot. Mostly spy novels.Stuff like James Hadley Chase.They arranged a marriage for him and it did not end well. Not for him, not for his wife,not for the two kids, my cousins, the marriage resulted in.He died back in 2002.
For now, I am just drinking in Cioran’s words and doing what little maths I can.


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I am just a sad little green  tortoise  who crawls and crawls..

Holden

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Re: Mistro Prison Cell
« Reply #18 on: September 30, 2019, 08:59:22 am »
Herr Kaspar and Senor Raul,

Writing here helps. I helps me to pour out my inner most thoughts, which may not always be pleasant. Leaving them inside to continue to putrefy is not good.Most of the people that I know deserve nothing but hatred and if there were a hell, they would rightly belong there.Most of them are dull,a job, a wife and two kids, that's the norm here and were you to deviate from it then you are well nigh an outlaw.

Parents are by definition sadists.Yes, but they have no free will. I don't want to have anything to do with people.They only wish we ill.People have no idea what they are dealing with here. I agree with Mr. Gary a hundred percent.

They just want to feel as if I don't know what's going on, they want me be keep confused and retarded. Well, I am not retarded. I understand that what I am experiencing is one of the worst things that can possibly happen to a sentient creature. Now, I may not know the solution to this weird situation we are all in ,but I sure as heck, am not going to make it even worse by trying to chase money and skirts.I mean, if one looks that this world, with patience, one can take it apart piece by piece and what is left in the end is clearly anything but pretty. It is hideous in fact.I don't want to be  a pink balloon chaser. I don't count myself as kind man but I am not such a monster that I'd bring another sentient creature here to suffer and die just for my amusement. I mean if my parents are so dumb that they cannot comprehend what the heck is going on in the world, then what kind of divine right did they have to drag me to this hell?
But,here I am, for better or for worse..here I am.



https://youtu.be/jEDeqlKh_u4
I am just a sad little green  tortoise  who crawls and crawls..

Holden

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Re: Mistro Prison Cell
« Reply #19 on: October 03, 2019, 12:43:52 am »
For Senor Raul:

You know what he [Eckhart] said? The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won't let go of your life; your memories, your attachments. They burn 'em all away. But they're not punishing you, he said. They're freeing your soul. [...] If you're frightened of dying and holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the Earth.
(Jacob's Ladder).
I am just a sad little green  tortoise  who crawls and crawls..

raul

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Re: Mistro Prison Cell
« Reply #20 on: October 03, 2019, 09:25:55 am »
Holden,

There is nothing much to add. I am just overstaying in this monster farm, planet Earth.

The scope of your reading is vast. On the other hand the scope of my ignorance is vast.

Most would never understand the disenchantment and tragic nature of this existence. In order to sustain life slavery must continue at all levels.

As you know any manifestation of life means death. Human beings can only save themselves only by embracing nothingness, supreme nothingness. Nothingness is the only parent that should be honored. It does not mean that our parents should be harmed. Even, in my view, if we wanted to punish our parents for bringing us to this slaughterhouse, there is no punishment that fits the crime. None at all.

No creature in creation can love in this world. Love means death. We are in prison and therefore love is not possible. Humans can only feel anger, fear, wrath, hatred, emotions, happiness, etc. It is not love we, humans, feel. I think we only have emotional affections. 

Love is the most prostituted word in this world. Flesh conditions us. The animals inside us fear much. The gods are great vampires.
Shitty and aberrant apes, sacks of bowels, that is what we are. Most do not want to realize we are monstrosities. We do not want to accept this sad truth. Our attachment to this world is madness. Most will become violent in hearing these truths.  Most will continue to embrace pleasures. Man animal.

Bringing children is worshipping this creation.

How can all these million and millions of years of creation end up in this imperfect homo sapiens? Much art is aberrant and yet it is worshipped. Is this all coming from a sort of cosmic Gang Bang?  The entire creation should be dissolved in nothingness.

The wheel of samsara, the wheel of pain, as you pointed out.

Stay safe.

Holden

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Re: Mistro Prison Cell
« Reply #21 on: October 03, 2019, 01:39:01 pm »
Senor Raul,

That's a rather beautiful and poetic post you came up with.Nothingness is a can of worms.Simone Weil writes" My existence diminishes God's glory. God gave it to me so that I may wish to lose it." I, of course, like Herr Kaspar ,take exception to her use of the meaningless word God.Kierkegaard believed in the leap of faith or so he writes, but I suspect he knew ,in his heart of hearts, that Regina Olsen would not be coming back...

Yes,they are playing the songs again, songs devoted to "God",they all dress up in their Sunday best and head to the the shrines of the Goddess.
It makes no sense to me. When I was about ,well, seventeen, I  lost all my faith in the goddesses..except for the ones made of flesh and blood.They continue to entice me ,more's the pity.

I am reading Cioran,Anathemas and Admirations, finished All Gall is Divided already.For the the very first time, I am comprehending why exactly Herr Kaspar admires him so much.I am like a gypsy with no permanent place to call my home. I wonder from one place to another. I read a theory which states that the European gypsies are originally from India.Did I tell you we breed like rabbits?Well, its true. We do.

I am one of them too, a little rabbit, who is expected to be fruitful and multiply.Only I was always partial to division when it comes to arithmetical operations.My life cannot be a failure now, I am quite certain, to have known you, to have known Herr Kaspar, is enough to save me from being a complete and an utter failure.Did I tell you that my city host's Asia's biggest red light area? Well, it does. I have nothing to sell though. I have only these bitter and rebellious thoughts.Not worth a farthing in the marketplace. 

Again,we must not make the mistake of believing that everyone is like us.That could end up being the fatal error. You and Herr Kaspar are similar,I give you that. You both belong to similar grades of the will. But,for example, take any Hollywood actress, most probably ,she is NOT like us. Not one bit.
There might be some fish in the bottom of the Pacific Ocean which might to more like us than the said actress. People like are, well, there are just a handful of people who belong to this particular grade of the will.

I don't know, I don't understand the breeders.Maybe I don't want to understand them.I am not a saint, in fact, I am a very selfish guy in a lot of ways, but I draw the line when I comes to ushering in more inmates into the prison. I just won't do it. Till I was about sixteen I was sort of gortish but in the seventeenth year, my mind burst out into a million pieces.I just could not comprehend this world. All the movies, they are all fake. Most of them, anyway.There is no such thing as romance, lust,yes, but not romance.Not really.


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I am just a sad little green  tortoise  who crawls and crawls..

raul

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Re: Mistro Prison Cell
« Reply #22 on: October 04, 2019, 08:22:59 am »
Holden,

Thank you for your words. You have awakened to bitter truths and therefore many will see you as a failure. Those who insult you are doomed also. In time they will experience torment. Their mockery will become tears. They do not see themselves as Shittty and aberrant apes. That is life. Until some time ago I used to regard material success highly. I was very ignorant. I still am. I think now that those athletes, soccer players, racer car drivers, celebrities, top models, CEOs, politicians, etc, only achieve dust. Their success is a mockery in this big mental asylum.

I understand that in different circumstances I could have become one of these successful people or as the U.S. singer Marilyn Manson calls them, the beautiful people. We all will become food for the worms. The beautiful people turned to ashes.

Late better than never says the proverb.  It has taken me a long time to realize that we are chained to aberrant human bodies. We are chained by our culture and biology.

Your city host's Asia's biggest red light area? The entire planet is a huge red light area. This reminds me that near here there is a brothel in front of an evangelical church. Well, the pastors supposedly take care of the soul while the others take care of the body.

The real kingdom of heaven is nothingness. The entire creation is an infernal aberration. You know already that. Hell is living on this Earth. Are we not all the creation from a cosmic incest? A huge cosmic orgasm? A splash of diabolical seed?

Yes, I read that the European gypsies are originally from India.Here in this devil-forsaken country people breed like rabbits too. What can I say? It is part of the programming. We are homo fornicans.

You are not a salesman. I view you as a doctor. Doctor Holden with a severe diagnosis of life. You do not prescribe blue pills. You prescribe black pills with the bitterest truths. Your pills provide bitter knowledge.
 
Take care, Doctor.

Holden

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Re: Mistro Prison Cell
« Reply #23 on: October 04, 2019, 01:47:19 pm »
Senor Raul,

Thank you for your message.As always,much appreciated. I am repelled by the sordid nature of life. Any life.It is ,by its very nature, vulgar.No matter how many cathedrals they build, they would never be able to alter this nasty little fact. I see couples engrossed in conversations-what is of such significance that they talk so intently? The next generation.

I often feel as if my brain would implode.It has every reason to do so.They keep playing bawdy songs over and over again-till one is driven out of one's mind or decides to hang himself from the nearest tree.
If I were to check out some of my posts written a few years back I would find myself railing against Capitalism. Denouncing privatization.Even,being a naive man that I was, praising Socialism. But I realise now,that the socialists are also as much of a scumbag as capitalists are.There is no way people are going to live with each other in peace.

People running around with poop inside of their bodies.With all kinds of bugs inside of their intestines.Isn't that a pretty picture? They want more of it. I don't know what this climate change thing is really all about, but if its messed up, I don't think human beings can set it right again.Once the
the genie is out of the bottle,well, that is it. There is no going back.With the kind of population we have in the city, a bit of a reduction won't really harm us. Heck, I would be the first one to volunteer. But no one is asking for volunteers. They just keep bringing more and more victims inside the system. More and more and more and more.There is no end to it. There will never be an end to it.

Fountains spurting out semen..Kids hatching out of eggs.That day is not far ahead when we would be reduced to literal cannibalism.

"Do you want fries with that?"

Aristotle studied for at least 20 years under Plato( he was already in his late teens when he came over) and they want us to be working by the time we are eighteen.Yes, that's right.They don't care whether one can comprehend what is  binomial theorem is ,all they want is that one should be able to say-


"Do you want fries with that?"


https://youtu.be/f_WuYoq-OYw
« Last Edit: October 04, 2019, 01:49:10 pm by Holden »
I am just a sad little green  tortoise  who crawls and crawls..

Haywire Baboonery

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Re: Mistro Prison Cell
« Reply #24 on: October 04, 2019, 06:53:29 pm »
Quote from: Holden
Aristotle studied for at least 20 years under Plato( he was already in his late teens when he came over) and they want us to be working by the time we are eighteen.Yes, that's right.They don't care whether one can comprehend what is  binomial theorem is ,all they want is that one should be able to say-


"Do you want fries with that?"

It is diabolical how all that is promoted is production, with no authentic respect for understanding.

Holden, Nietzsche witnessed the mockery of Philosophy, and we witness the utter mockery of mathematical knowledge.  They will wish to make fools of the mathematically inclined or mathematically mature adults who have no earning power or are disabled by depression and anxiety.  It allows the fascists in charge, the Little Big Shots with Some Power, the Power to call the Police, which is Mr. and Mrs. Everyone, to get off on having the unconventionally intelligent at their mercy. 

I am witnessing this in our era, Holden.  They will turn Knowledge of Pure Mathematics into the equivalent of PhD in Philosophy ...

Our species is far too vulnerable and weak - as you say, filled with fear, terror, horror, and even psychological shame and sense of humiliation and disgrace; malice, rancor, envy, acrimony, ressentiment (resentment?) ...

We are manipulated by those who control the masses by the fear of Public Opinion.

Maybe poems I wrote while drunk in 2003 (and posted on the InterWebs) might have ensured I would never be gainfully employed in New Jersey.  Who knows?

« Last Edit: October 05, 2019, 09:21:41 am by Haywire Baboonery »
He [Arthur Schopenhauer] has been the most radical of all troublemakers. He was defiant. ~ (Marcuse?)

"Learning math is never a waste of time." ~ Ivan Savov

"Programming is understanding."  ~ Kristen Nygaard

raul

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Apophis
« Reply #25 on: October 05, 2019, 06:55:33 am »
Holden,

Once again thank you for your words. This is a hostile world. Will we ever be free from this chain of suffering? I think not.

“People running around with poop inside of their bodies.With all kinds of bugs inside of their intestines.Isn't that a pretty picture?” Yes, people will never see themselves as monstrosities. We are trapped by the flesh. Holden.

Many do not see that men in the past were androgynous. Men have breasts. A ppenis and a **** in a human body. Humans are strange creatures. There is a little of everything inside us. A little of birds, a little of reptiles, part ape, some genetic similarities with pigs. Really strange. Deformed creatures.

An acquaintance does not want to eat with me because from time to time I often remind him that whatever we eat will be turned into poop. I admit I ruined his digestion sometimes. This acquaintance also buys the most expensive toilet paper. I said to him that regular toilet paper is good enough. But in his view the hole must be taken care of properly.

From time to time I see couples who have just become parents. I suppose they have faith in life and confidence that their offspring will be able to continue this human journey.They see, in my view, beauty in life. Expiry date is programmed. Human obsolescence is programmed.

Capitalists, comunists, fascists, socialists, republicans, liberals, satanists, Christians, agnostics, well, whatever the label, we are still humans. Homo sapiens. A wretched species. So, as you say “There is no way people are going to live with each other in peace.” Horror is inside each one of us.

I read that a huge asteroid called Apophis (the Egyptian god of Chaos) will fly past Earth on Friday, April 13, 2029. In 2013, NASA calculated that Apophis would not hit Earth. But if it hits Earth it will cause huge tsunamis. Will Apophis approach this country? Will it hit India, or the Middle East or New Jersey? Who knows? Maybe I will not be here to see Apophis. I remember that here some rich people built their own dugouts in some parts of the country in case of a catastrophe that was to happen in December, 2012. I suppose they would do that again if Apophis pays us a visit.

Maybe future solar flares will roast Earth.They call them the killshot. If this event happens the entire system will go down. No ATMs, no Internet, no cell phones, no TVs, no tablets, no emails, nothing will work. Hospitals will collapse and patients will die, no airports, no traffic, no stoplights, total collapse.

I quote Safety in Numbers by Thomas Ligotti:

Safety in Numbers

There are plenty more people
than there were at one time.
And plenty more are coming.

It’s as if something inside them
is always screaming in an urgent
voice: more, more, more, more.
Or maybe it’s like waiting in line.
Everyone feels better if they see
more are behind them than in front.

“That makes sense,” you think
as you make your way forward
and soon find that you’re next.

Stay safe.

Holden

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Re: Mistro Prison Cell
« Reply #26 on: October 06, 2019, 12:00:33 pm »
Herr Kaspar and Senor Raul,
I wrote a post last night addressed to both of you and was under the impression that I posted it but I woke up in the morning and realized that it was nowhere to be found on the message board.I must have forgotten to save it somehow.

The cough syrup suppresses my cough alright but also leaves me feeling a bit dizzy.

What did I write about,then? Ah,yes, the proles in 1984.

Like them,people around me love to sing their little ditties. Worship idols and spends tens of thousands of rupees on decorating them.Well, religion is indeed the opium of the masses.

And they are so loud. So, very loud. They would have certainly reduced Schopenhauer to a Weeping Philosopher. And they bang all the doors ,ask for donations.I have much better things to do with my money, thank you very much.They remind of the proles in 1984 because all they ask for is bread and circus. That is all they want.

A Marxist would describe them in the terms of false consciousness,but I,thank Almight, am not one. The malaise goes much deeper than that.I don’t know how deep it goes. Till ’11,the Indian state I am in, had a government made up of so-called Marxists.Even yesterday, I saw a few very old men, sitting in a stall hawking Communist literature. I don’t even think I live in the same planet as people like these.

Politics bores me these days really.Camus, is alright,when he is describing how meaningless and absurd this whole world is ,but I part company with him the moment he says we can make our own meaning.What non-sense.

The proles don’t interest me.However, they can torment one quite a lot.Even as I write this, I can hear their loud ditty in the background.I feel tired.Heraclitus writes “ Cosmos was not made by the gods or men and is , and ever shall be everliving-fire”.This fires burns us all. What’s with all these romantic songs they keep playing? I think ,most of them feel that finding a mate is one of the most important undertakings.I just walk by them, they look at me ,I guess, as a simpleton.

This couple,the young Turks, were right next to me as I was getting out of pharmacy with the cough medicine and they woman shots me a look, not of disgust, but of puzzlement. For your kind information, I am generally not dressed to the nine,unlike these folks. I just play the fool, and walk away,reading the Obscure.

I am just a sad little green  tortoise  who crawls and crawls..

raul

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Re: Mistro Prison Cell
« Reply #27 on: October 07, 2019, 07:10:59 am »
Holden,


Thank you for your words. Indeed, Holden, to most you may look a simpleton but you are not. Otherwise you would not be sharing these deep thoughts in this message board.

As you said, panem et circenses, bread and circus, that is most want here. Better to say, bread and soccer and religion. However bread will be getting scarce and soccer will not provide the enjoyment it used to provide before. I am sure the gentlemen in power are thinking of new ways to distract people. Bread, soccer and religion are distractions. The curtain will eventually close.

I see couples, young or old in the streets. I will not experience honeymoon. Those above must be really mocking the newly weds. It is part of brainwashing.

Living is for cowards, some say, and suicide is for the brave. Well I am not brave. I do not have the baalls. However I do not think I will be allowed to flee this cirque du freak with death. The walls of this prison of needs and desires have been well designed. I think this entire creation is a big fudge. These cosmic artesans have arthritis.

My deaths is, understandably, sad for me. However, my death will be a gift for micro-organisms. Humans eat all kinds of plants, animals and birds, but we in turn are hunted and eaten by other animals as well as by bacteria and worms, bugs and plants will feed on my rotting body and help Earth, to digest me. In life death is the only guarantee we have.

Take care.

Haywire Baboonery

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Re: Mistro Prison Cell
« Reply #28 on: October 09, 2019, 06:45:22 am »
As far as who are the personnel of the Jailer/Farmer/Plantation/Colony/Overlord, the artist says that those who breed are the personnel.

What about those who collect a salary to "coach," "tutor," "instruct," "educate," "brainwash," "hypnotize," "train," "enculturate," "inspire," "motivate," "psychologically diagnose," etc ... ?   

One must not allow oneself to be publically or professionally "too philosophical" or, God forbid, "ethical."

There are an awful lot of actors and phonies out there, professional, no less.

If one were to study something out of pure interest and fascination, one would discover a life of decaying teeth, a meager hand-to-mouth existence, but nonetheless a rich inner life, however "rough around the edges" that life may be.

Who are the hired personnel of the Conspiracy Against the Human Race?

How am I to process this same world that Nietzsche pondered?  I mean, the man wept in the streets.  He was bitterly mocked and humiliated, as can happen to anyone, since we each are, after all, solitary and lone human animals.   The dread and anxiety can be overwhelming for anyone.  People snap.  It's a razor's edge and all that ---.

Listen, were one to see me babbling, with the missing and rotten teeth, all but the most sensitive would assume I am far less "educated or learned" than I am.  That is, I imagine the majority of gorts would underestimate my intelligence, if not outright insult it, as par for the course, just another day in the life of Haywire Baboonery.

I try to make like I am a nervous bundle of nerves.  That's just the coffee.  In the meantime, I am secretly delighted and thankful that I have even made it this far to understand what I have.

The Grim Reaper may welcome me with a hilarious joke that will blow my mind to pieces!   Anyone of us is at all times in this not-in-the-least-bit-strange predicament of possibly ceasing to exist at any random moment.

Please be sure to be prepared for death a little each day ... I mean, reflect upon the absrud situation we are in!
« Last Edit: October 09, 2019, 06:54:07 am by Haywire Baboonery »
He [Arthur Schopenhauer] has been the most radical of all troublemakers. He was defiant. ~ (Marcuse?)

"Learning math is never a waste of time." ~ Ivan Savov

"Programming is understanding."  ~ Kristen Nygaard

Holden

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Sickness,Insanity and Death (Senor Raul)
« Reply #29 on: October 11, 2019, 11:41:05 am »
Senor Raul,

I have found that even in dreamless sleep, even there, no peace is to be found-only some kind of suffocation. I woke up today fairly depressed and realized that one cannot find any kind of refuge even in deep,dreamless sleep. In all likelihood we are creatures fated to have eternal restlessness.
We live a world of nightmares.Kierkegaard broke his engagement. And along with it, broke his own heart.Out of his broken heart emerges something sublime.He writes if you marry you will regret it and if you don’t you would regret that too. And yet he chose to exercise the second option. He felt very keenly that as a bourgeois, householder he would is be as good as spiritually dead. Thus, the monumental break.

His father is an interesting figure in his own write. While not a philosopher of the caliber his son was to become, the young Kierkegaard no doubt observed the embittered relationship between his parents. He was,if he was anything at all, a keen observer. If for nothing else, his complete and absolute rejection of everything Hegel stood for itself would provide him with a high moral ground.

Sometimes I imagine his, sitting alone in his room, pouring out his thoughts onto his note-books while at the same time his ex-fiancee is busy making babies with her husband.No doubt, his explicit Christian imagery is not always palatable and yet, I read his between the lines and find a man ,a tormented man, looking desperately for a way out.

No peace even in deep ,dreamless sleep-imagine that!What did the fiancée think of him? Probably that he was a scoundrel and in her assessment she was right. Every true philosopher, is ,for the bourgeoisie, a scoundrel. His hatred for the state church was quite obvious. He was not exactly welcome in the cathedrals.I often feel,while I am not a believer in providence, for the very word “providence” reeks of third rate theology, that by some sort of inevitable fate or fatalistic gravity I am being pulled more and more into a sort of pariah who writes about the harsh and bitters truths of this existence, no one, except for the fellow bedlemites, are likely to read.

Here in the city, I look at the human horses,the rickshaws are pulled by human beings themselves,by men( and not women). We have far more men than horses and so it makes sense to use them to push the rickshaws.There are lovebirds and fat ladies who like to ride of these rickshaws. Isn’t that wonderful? While the couple are making  out inside the rickshaw, the tuberculosis-ridden puller is bursting his lungs running with naked feet surrounded by a million vehicles all blaring and honking their horns? When the puller dies, as is the custom, the skeleton is donated to a medical college so the family could get a few farthings.

The highest achievable praise? To be a writer who is never read.

Stop me if you have heart this one before-Schopenhauer goes to a pet shop to buy himself a puddle, and runs into to Frau Hegel. She says,Herr Schopenhauer what a pleasant service,what brings you here? Schopenhauer is tongue-tied. He is rather shy when it comes to conversing with unfamiliar women.But he collects himself and says with a great deal of formality “Madam, my last poodle passed away ,I’m here to buy a new one”.”Oh but Herr Schopenhauer,missus Hegel says, why waste money, for puddles are quite expensive, just buy a rat. Schopenhauer is flabbergasted, and says, in a hesitant fashion,” A rat,Madam?” Why, ofcourse, a rat. It would far cheaper than a poodle and it is only a matter of time, before the rat,because of the iron laws of history, mutates into a puddle”

Schopenhauer just said” Well, I wish you a good day,Madam,” and was out of the shop muttering curses under his breath.


https://youtu.be/7RbpYu4Lnh4
« Last Edit: October 11, 2019, 11:43:29 am by Holden »
I am just a sad little green  tortoise  who crawls and crawls..