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Holden

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Caveat Sponsus
« on: March 12, 2019, 03:20:06 am »
Senor Raul,I'd like to share the following with you-

So my wife and I have been together for 4 years now, and we have been married for two. Last weekend we both decided that it would be fun to go for a meal then hit a local club afterwards, just us two. The meal was perfect and we spent the majority of our time discussing fond memories we have of each other. We also had an amazing time dancing with each other in the club and I decided that we should leave after it grew apparent that some men were eyeing up my drunk wife.

This is where it all went sour. We decided after leaving the club that we would grab a quick bite in a takeaway down the street. As we were waiting in line, a man who had also been clubbing started talking with us (mainly my wife) and he was a real smooth talker (told my wife how beautiful she was, and what was she doing with a man like me). I nervously laughed off these comments until he decided to invite us back to his place for a few drinks. I was questioning myself as to why he is inviting a married couple back to his apartment, so I told my wife to tell him that we're going to call it a night.

To my astonishment, my wife said that we would love to join him (he only lived a 10 minute walk away from the club), and they were linking arms infront of me and excluding me from the conversation as we walked back. I understand how wtf this is, but the dude was tall, mixed-race and pretty built; I guess I wanted to avoid unnecessary problems with him.

We got to his place and whilst he was in the kitchen pouring us drinks I pleaded with my wife that he has the hots for her and that we should leave. She laughed it off and told me that "he's pretty hot himself". What preceded was an incredibly uncomfortable series of events where we drunk more, she sat on his lap stroking his beard whilst talking to me and even told me "he's so attractive isn't he?", throughout this conversation it was incredibly hard to maintain eye contact with her on his lap. Other events included her feeling his biceps and telling me to do the same, after I obliged she mentioned why don't I go to the gym which made me incredibly self-concious as I am a skinny guy.

Now I consider myself a man's man, but there was something about this whole situation that didn't sit well with me. He was an intimidating man and I was worried that if I said we should leave in his prescence then things could turn ugly. Eventually my wife and him passed out with her laying on top of him and I decided to wake her up after a few hours when I felt things were safe. She has sobered up by this point, so I called a taxi and grilled her on the way home how she could do this to me.

I'm at a loss, I feel my wife has completely disrespected me and the only excuses she has given me over the past few days were that she was tipsy and wasn't thinking properly. She has also told me on a few occasions that I should have intervened, which wasn't possible imo. She has also ensured me that it will never happen again, but she wasn't even blackout drunk. I believe she was in the state to say no.

I need your help guys, should I shrug this under the rug and move on with our lives?
-By Upset Husband


Brothers,never  ever marry  or be ready to be an "Upset Husband".
« Last Edit: March 12, 2019, 03:25:05 am by Holden »
La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.

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Ibra

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Re: Caveat Sponsus
« Reply #1 on: March 12, 2019, 07:29:54 am »
"Thousands of dads are left in shock as DIY paternity tests soar"
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6585595/Thousands-dads-left-shock-DIY-paternity-tests-soar.html

from the comment section in the above article:

- Never trust a woman. They are only as honest as their consequences and as faithful as their options. Never trust a woman, never cohabitate, never join your finances with them, never have children with one, and for the love of God never marry one. Women today just aren't worth their trouble and they're always big game hunting for a future ex-husband they can divorce r@pe.


- Paternity tests should be *mandatory* for every birth.

- The Fairer Sex, perhaps not so fair after all.

- Excuse me darling, can you open your mouth so I can swab to see if I've been wasting my time and money raising you for the last decade. Thank you


Suffering is the only fruit of human race

raul

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Re: Caveat Sponsus
« Reply #2 on: March 12, 2019, 08:09:36 pm »
Holden,

Thank you for sharing the article and your posts. You can never say never but in my case I doubt I will ever be an “upset husband” because my interactions with ladies are zero. I do not have the physical qualities and the financial resources. However I thank you for the counsel “never marry”. Women are naughty creatures. You might be tempted to fall into the trap as millions of men do every single minute in this human farm.

As Ibra writes there is no fair sex. On Friday it was International Women´s Day.  I wonder if there is an International Men´s Day. There were marches in the city.  They marched against violence on women, lack of equal salaries, and oppression. What a mad world we live in.  Mothers and fathers tell people to work, obey and surrender to this madhouse they have built for their offspring. We are just food in this prison farm. That is the purpose of human existence.

I am feeling already the anguish that I will die at anytime. This is the lovely gift I received in coming to this Earth.

Stay well.

Holden

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Dearest Kanthaka,I am doing this for you too.
« Reply #3 on: March 15, 2019, 07:54:54 am »
Senor Raul,

I am very  sorry  about your intense anguish. Yes, I could also end up getting caught  in a "honey-trap" like millions of young men.
I do not  and will not  underestimate the power that the beautiful women wield.If it were  just me I would have been an easy catch.But it is not just me, for  in my  mind,there are  the ideas of Herr Hentrich,Schopenhauer ,Cioran, Shankara  and  these ideas are like the crucifix which keeps the vampires away.

I would like to  be   like  one  of those ancient Indians who wrote  the Upanishads and whom Schopenhauer so admired.
The lovers can go  on making love,I,for one  ,would  write about  why  they  do  so.

When the Buddha left his comfortable palace,all the  soldiers and guards,were trying to stop him,only his loyal horse  was too quick for them all.
As the Buddha  said his final goodbye  to his worthy horse,he also said,  just before he disappeared  in the  deep forest" Dearest Kanthaka(the  horse's name),I am doing  this   for you too".

Keep well.
La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.

raul

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Re: Caveat Sponsus
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2019, 09:34:02 am »
Holden,

Thank you for your response. Anguish is part of existing as a human being, as you well know and experience every single day, and the thing is how long I will be able to endure this pain called life.

A student of history once told me that in Ancient Rome the Caesars hired someone to whisper in their ears these words “Remember you are going to die” in Latin. These Romans were practical people, specially the Caesars who felt invincible in their triumphs and victories. They needed to be reminded that everything is ephemeral. Nowadays few, not even the priests or pastors, would be willing to whisper those words. Not good for business and the status quo.

I remember seeing some pictures of Chinese prisoners kneeling down to have their heads removed by Japanese officers during the battle of Nanking in 1937. Yes, Holden, we are all prisoners waiting for our inevitable exit. 

I understand that you are struggling with the demons of lust. Difficult issue. The Will to sex is strong. Love making is part of our software. We are programmed to do it. But this love making leads to endless tragedies.

I have just heard the news on the radio. In New Zealand there was a massacre in a mosque and 49 people were killed by a gunman or gunmen. Not sure. 49 who were cute babies and now they end up as bones. I heard the gunmen broadcast this awful event on Facebook. Also here a year and seven-month baby died in hospital and the doctors found out the baby was allegedly sexually abused.  A man killed his female partner and then supposedly tried to kill himself but did not succeed. In Ciudad del Este, a 39-year old man supposedly abused his stepdaughter and also her 9-year old friend. Last week a male Catholic catechist was sent to Tacumbú, the state prison, for sending sex pictures to a minor through his cell phone.   

Kanthaka was very important for the Buddha. Few brave are willing to leave palaces, privilege, prestige, women, and power to attain enlightenment.

I found this quote attributed to Brazilian author Clarice Lispector:

“Then I dreamed such a good dream: I dreamed this: in life we are actors in an absurd play written by an absurd God. We are all participants in this theater: in truth we never shall die when death happens. We only die as actors. Could that be eternity?”

Stay safe.

Holden

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Re: Caveat Sponsus
« Reply #5 on: March 15, 2019, 11:18:45 pm »
La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.

Holden

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La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.

Holden

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Indeed I scorn it (To Senor Raul)
« Reply #7 on: March 16, 2019, 07:56:14 am »
Senor Raul,

Goethe him had told Schopenhauer that literary affairs were a secondary thing compared to real life.Schopenhauer wrote to Goethe that it was just the reverse with him."What I think ,what I write,that holds value to me and is important to me.What I personally experience and  what happens to me is secondary to me.Indeed I scorn it".

Keep well.
La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.

Holden

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Re: Caveat Sponsus ( To Gorts)
« Reply #8 on: March 16, 2019, 08:14:29 am »
The villainy you teach me I will execute—and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction.
La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.

raul

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Re: Caveat Sponsus
« Reply #9 on: March 16, 2019, 03:11:27 pm »
Holden,

Thank you for the links and the quotes about Schopenhauer. Well, here if I called 911 because the pizza was not delivered the police would sue me for making that call. But women are women. Strange creatures.

I have nothing more to add to what you just wrote. I am just an asker of questions, some of them profound and others very shallow, I admit. Better late than never, I developed a defect, unpardonable by the system we live in, and that is I realized the madness we are part of. I found out that most fellow human beings are, sad to say, existential illiterates. No speak, no see ,no hear and no think.In 1988 I listened to a catchy song called “Don´t worry, Be happy” by a U.S. musician called Bobby McFerrin. A new song could be “Don´t think, be happy”.
 
Some say that the misery of the human condition can be improved. I say that is not possible. We are what we are. I say it because I am also a bad person and I lack the courage to destroy my fellow human beings. I lack the courage but I do not lack the desire.

Stay safe.

Holden

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Re: Caveat Sponsus
« Reply #10 on: March 17, 2019, 09:08:32 am »
For   Senor  Raul:

La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.

Holden

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To Dear Senor Raul
« Reply #11 on: March 17, 2019, 11:39:15 am »
Senor Raul,

I am sorry that  you find the weight of existence to be so very heavy. If it is any consolation, I  feel  the same too. Its  all  too  much.
I am teary   eyed quite often. I  do not know what to do with myself. Existence is a curse.Mr. Gary is also  in a bad  way.

I would not mind if I  were  dead  soon. I  would not mind  that at all.The  game itself  is flawed.The  only way  to  win is to refuse to play this  silly game.There is no mercy in this  world  to be had. I  sincerely hope  that your  eyes  are  a  little better now.

In Hinduism there is a god  called Krishna.In the midst of a  battle field, he is  asked  my one of his disciples to  show  his real face.
When  he does, the disciple almost loses his consciousness. It is,well, lets just say that it is anything but human.
All the disciple's friends are being eaten up  one by one of the innumerable mouths of the deity.

We are in a very big mess,Senor Raul. There is  no easy way out. 

Take care.
La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.

raul

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Re: Caveat Sponsus
« Reply #12 on: March 18, 2019, 09:45:36 am »
Holden,

Thank you for your words and for Inmendham´s link- We all feel the weight of existence even those who wear existential issues proof vests. As you say it is all too much. Existence is a curse, as you say too.

Sometimes I would like to be a painter and my paintings would depict the dance of death with grinning skeletons dressed as queens, kings, emperors, presidents, prime ministers, CEOs,  generals, top models, popes, rabbis, pastors, members of the Bilderberg Club, and death carrying all far away.

Existential or philosophical or human issues do not matter at all. Most, including me, will not feel their hearts moved by feelings or emotions. No change of heart.

I would not mind if I died soon either. I want my death to be fast and painless. But I get the impression that it is not going to be that way.

Only demonic gods must have created the human puppets. That millions of girls and boys have to resort to prostitution for money that finally end in the hands of the money masters or when I see in the streets the elderly limping, being eaten up by their sicknesses are just two examples of this demonic creation.

Stay safe.

Nation of One

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Re: Caveat Sponsus
« Reply #13 on: March 18, 2019, 08:24:34 pm »
Quote from: Holden
I  do not know what to do with myself. Existence is a curse.Mr. Gary is also  in a bad  way.

I would not mind if I  were  dead  soon. I  would not mind  that at all.The  game itself  is flawed.The  only way  to  win is to refuse to play this  silly game.

Is the landlord of Mr. Gary selling the property his abode is on?

That is a disaster for Gary.  For him especially, such changes this may present might be insurmountable as far as Gary's frustration tolerance goes. 

Myself, too, even though I see how this huge encyclopedic solution-key series of so many notebooks is my own peculiar way of following Schopenhauer, some important changes in my environment, such as having to dwell in environments which wreak havoc on my mental health, would certainly squash any plans of getting any further than I have already gotten with it.   I have chosen to tackle a very long and often tedious task simply as a way to get through a life not worth living.  I was curious to see if I had THAT kind of time, and THIS kind of patience and "good luck" (minus any of the uncertain misadventures that turn out the lights for good). The math notebooks are as sacred to to me as any poet's anthology is to him/her.  Notebooks with handwritten notes large enough to read more easily than old texts with aging paper - to particular students of mathematics, these could serve as a cult artifact for Dolciani-series fanatics (Modern Introductory Analysis and prerequisite material along with my homegrown programs in C++ on flash drives).  The future audience is very small, but they will be fanatics about acquiring these notebooks.  This is my suspicion. 

Maybe I am just a little delusional, somewhat "touched in the head," or maybe the future audience really will be THAT VERY SMALL, a handful of total "Dolciani et al fanatics".

If something were to disrupt this "project," I would most likely suffer extreme anxiety which most likely would lead to getting hooked back on the morning juice, which would be catastrophic, if not totally fatal at this phase of my life.   I would not live long enough to ever recoup whatever algebraic skills I have been able to polish over these last few years.

I sympathize with the vulnerable situation Gary finds himself in.  I'm afraid it would not take much for me to be equally if not even even more vulnerable, that is, at risk of mental breakdown, homelessness, full blown psychosis.

It is important for me to keep my head together, but isn't this true for each of us?

Sometimes life dishes out too much for us to handle with any kind of dignity.  Panic ensues.  Nervous collapse.

« Last Edit: March 18, 2019, 10:26:16 pm by Miserable Mike »
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

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Holden

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Re: Caveat Sponsus
« Reply #14 on: March 20, 2019, 11:22:02 am »
Quote
I'm afraid it would not take much for me to be equally if not even even more vulnerable, that is, at risk of mental breakdown, homelessness, full blown psychosis.

Dear Herr Kaspar,
Yes, things   are  difficult indeed.Mr.Gary remains sad most of  the time.His  sister died when she was  rather young.
I hope   and pray  that you  get   to   study  as much mathematics and for  as  long as  you like.
I  hope  your mother is keeping   well. I   have  been   studying  mathematics  too.That  and philosophy.
Since  2014 I  have learnt   so many precious things,thanks  to  you.  Recently one of the public sector organisations was privatised and there are  elections  here very soon. It looks like an  administration which is pro-capitalism   will get  the power.

Let's see   how things transpire. Please try not to worry too much about the  future.  I sincerely hope that  you have as pain-free an  existence as  possible.Please  don't   worry.  I know things  can    get    bad  but  my request  to you  is  that you try to stay  indoors  and  study maths.

And  try  to  stay  away  from  intoxicants.Let me  tell you something   interesting.  I was recently reading a     book   on Eastern philosophy and  came to know that   ancient  Indian  buddhists   studied maths   a great deal in order to  realise  that every thing is insubstantial(Sunyata....zero-ness).

The  point is ,you should not  be   in  any kind of severe pain. That is I want    for  you as your true well  wisher. While  there will  always be hassles, you  should  not  be tortured in a  serious way.One   of the reasons  why the   two of us get  along so  well is   that  perhaps, unconsciously, we  tend to attract sadists towards us. We just  are too aloof and   people don't like that.

If and  when ( I fervently hope that  such  a time never arrives),you get  into any  kind of serious  trouble,please  let  me know, and I will  try  to help you as much  as I can.

Keep well, my  dear  friend.

« Last Edit: March 20, 2019, 11:25:28 am by Holden »
La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.