Godel died of starvation-complete denial of the WILL,I read somewhere that he fought with his college librarian in order to get the math books transferred from the science to the ART section.
That's shocking. I really do appreciate your insight, Holden. I am shocked that Godel died of complete starvation, and a little stunned that he fought with the librarian to have the math books moved to the art section. I remember a certain young librarian who would tease me (in an almost flirtatious manner) about my interest in mathematics. Oh my god, the sexual fantasies that the Will whispered to me about her!
Fortunately for me, I seem to frighten women with my utter lack of ambition to make money or lift weights.
As a student I came across numerous poseurs with regard to mathematics-their objective of studying mathematics was not to develop better mathematical understanding but it was,in truth,a means to an end-of impressing girls,making other guys look inferior,of getting a cozy (is there such a thing?) job.
Yes, for many years after high school I think I was purposely sabotaging such a life. I certainly never wanted to be one who wanted to make others feel inferior. A full ten years later I was bitten by the mathematics bug, which is when I began to become interested in computer programming where it could be used for mathematical computations. From sitting on tractors all day and cleaning toilets and collecting garbage - not that I ever felt denigrated or oppressed by this, I treasured the nights I did not collapse on the sofa so that I could study math.
I had a live-in concubine at the time, and she was very threatened by what she called "The Hermit". The way life unfolds, I see some things more clearly in hindsight. I was not so much trying to escape my life as a maintenance worker so much as I really had become interested in the math, not as a means to an end, but just for the enjoyment of exploring such things.
Whereas in high school I may have been rebelling against what I thought was expected of me, I threw the baby out with the bath water ...
Even after I was released from my position as a state slave, when I was sent to college, I was still unsure about any destinations.
I think it is for real this time. For sure, I seem to be "too far gone" to even approach the world of jobs.
I strongly rebelled when I was 17, and I was in a "college prep" school. I won't go into details.
Like the girl who killed herself at age 17, I also tried to end my life at 18, after high school ... but I was revived.
What that girl was going through is what I am talking about when I scorn the way mathematics and science is pushed too much at that age. Imagine if music was pushed that way. No one would want to play music!
I am taking mathematics back as art. In fact, in order to relax myself while working through problems, I imagine a child with some crayons. No one is forcing him to draw circles perfectly or draw his line oh-so-very straight.
So what if I have to look at the solution to figure out how to solve the problem. I'm just trying to have fun with this.
You see, that girl and I are in opposite situations. She felt pressured to study science, and that is terrible, for sure. I almost hated it at that age.
For me, since my role is really to drink myself to death or just get some redundant job in Bizarroland, my studying math is a revolutionary act of defiance.
I do sympathize with the youth. It must be quite overwhelming. At that age, I would have welcomed a two-year pause (that did not involve incarceration). While the gorts and their elected/appointed officials would never take any of my suggestions seriously, I would suggest, as an alternative to joining the work-force, or the military, or going into debt studying something you're not entirely enthusiastic about (or suicide or prison), perhaps, if there even is a future, maybe a certain percentage of students would prefer and benefit from a couple years of "basic wilderness survival" camps, where they would learn very essential skills that might give them confidence when facing the prospects of long-term unemployment, homelessness, tent cities, refugee camps , you know, the ugly side of "civilization".
They could learn how to build primitive (life saving) shelters, gather rain water, find edible plants or learn how to live on just rice. Maybe some would even want to learn "advanced placement fire making".
They could fast with supervision ... detaching a little bit from all this pressure and competition.
They could be hauled out from the inner cities into the mountains BEFORE they end up fodder for the prison system or the military ... or .. what is there for the youth, anyway?
Can you blame Kriti Tripathi? It is a tragic end. Is it better to end one's life or just live in ambitiousless peace?
As a female, what were her choices? What was expected of her?
From her point of view, maybe this world's terms were making life unworthy of her.
I know here in the USA there is a great push for women in the sciences. As it is, far more women graduate from the universities than men. Maybe it's a "North American Wild West Thing" ... since the natives considered book learning to kind of feminize the men. They said that when a man from their tribe was sent to "the white man's schools", he came back useless ... worse than useless. There may be a mystique still about too much education making a man think too reasonably and not impulsive enough for physical confrontations that require quick responses.
Nontheless, there is a general consensus that math, science, engineering, and computer science are dominated by men. Hence, the aggressive campaign to encourage women to enter these fields. I have one younger cousin's daughter who was a math major and now teaches math. Another cousin's daughter is a computer science major. She isn't into the social scenes and is content to tinker with math. It certainly isn't for everyone. I wonder if a tendency to isolate makes one more suitable for such pursuits. That could be said of writers too though.
It must be difficult to commit oneself to such a lifestyle as a career or vocation. I have a niece who was some kind of prodigy pianist, but she is studying nursing to pay her bills. Anyway you look at it, even with my disdain for psychology and psychiatry as professions, I have to point out that our mental health will impact any "choices" we make. In other words, our lives can fall to pieces no matter how rational our choices may be. My own life has been one long series of disasters, so I just kind of smirk when someone appears to have their shiit together. Life can go down the tubes quite unexpectedly even when we are ever so carefully avoiding "trouble".
So this Kriti Tripathi had great resentment against those running the coaching institutes?
In the note, the girl has urged the government of India and human resource development (HRD) ministry to shut coaching institutes as soon as possible. “They suck,” she wrote.She did not want to participate. It's a shame it had to come to that. She must have been quite a philosopher. I remember being 17. It was a very dramatic time of my life. We were the first class to be required to take "Computer Science". I didn't like computers. I only liked the programs that computed the Pythagorean Theorem and stuff like that. That was kind of cool. I like to write in cursive with a pen, and I did not like seeing my words typed up by the machine. I wanted to join my ancestors.
As a youth I must have been considered a "resource". I even resented my grandmother referring to me as a "natural resource" ... as though it was somehow my duty to haul the cart of civilization. My grandfather would bust my chops, asking, "What are you going to do, live in a tent?"
Maybe he had a dim recollection of being forced to study science by his strict parents. His father committed suicide. All is not well in the Industrialized World. There is a tremendous amount of mental anguish underneath the farce of polite society.
Isn't it ironic that, now that I have nowhere to go and nothing to do, now that I am, for all intents and purposes, a deadbeat, my main hobby is tinkering around like a mad scientist?
RIP KT.
If only teenagers were encouraged to take more naps!
Do you think that naps are beneficial when the brain is feeling overwhelmed?
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