Author Topic: The Dark Side (a profound concentration of negativity)  (Read 2279 times)

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Holden

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  • Hentrichian Philosophical Pessimist
Re: The Dark Side (a profound concentration of negativity)
« Reply #45 on: September 28, 2017, 04:54:20 am »
You remember what Schopenhauer once wrote to Goethe in a letter mentioned in his biography-he wrote something to this effect-unlike you, I am not a man of the world. What matters to me is my philosophy. What becomes of me, personally, is of very little significance, what is important is that I should be able to comprehend the world philosophically.
I sound like a prisoner because I am one.
I really think that most parents think of their babies are cuddly toys. If only they could imagine that one day that cuddly toy will grow big and will be shred to pieces by the others,then perhaps they would think twice before having a baby.
This thought came to me with surprising clarity today-my pain,my misery,though profound and intense, is still finite-so long as I make sure that I do not reproduce.It is only a matter of getting rid of time. I donít think I want to commit suicide. But I do want this misery to end with my demise.
So,here is the deal,I only need to somehow get though these years of earthly existence and then I would be through ,for good.
At present I have an office job, if required,that is,if I am fired in the near future then I can take up a menial job. I mean,unlike,my colleagues,I am not obese and quite capable of working physically.
Of course if that were to happen then my parents and relatives would go crazy but I think now I am beyond the point of giving a damn.
I have been thinking about how you lost your job in the park. Even if the circumstances were a bit different I do not think that you would have been able to carry on with it for much longer-you are much too sincere and honest for that. Something very similar is happening with me. They are setting traps to get rid of me.What of it? It would take them,at the very least, a good few months to be able to do that.In the meantime,I can make some more money-it will stand me in good stead in the future.
We will see what happens-why so much strife? I only need to somehow kill time,some years and then the nature itself will set this prisoner free.


La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.