{∅, {∅}, {∅, {∅}}} : Rage Against the Meat Grinder

" ... a man never is happy, but spends his whole life in striving after something which he thinks will make him so; he seldom attains his goal, and when he does, it is only to be disappointed; he is mostly shipwrecked in the end, and comes into harbor with masts and rigging gone. And then, it is all one whether he has been happy or miserable; for his life was never anything more than a present moment always vanishing; and now it is over."   - S

Learning something technical, as it becomes less mysterious, is somewhat of a thrill, but there is a sense of disappointment mixed in there as well ... ah, to be a hypersensitive neurotic with rotten teeth ... To write like the Underground Man ... but, why bother?  Why not just let our thoughts run on where they will without imposing sense?

Why not make plans just to smash those plans to bits ... study something with great enthusiasm, then just abruptly stop and move on to something else ? 

Eh --- a man never is happy, but spends his whole life in striving after something which he thinks will make him so; he seldom attains his goal, and when he does, it is only to be disappointed.


January 8, 1914
[...] I should stand very quietly in a corner, content that I can breathe.

October 21, 1921
The truth that lies closest, however, is only this, that you are beating your head against the wall of a windowless and doorless cell.

Franz Kafka, from "Diaries (1911-1923)".