Author Topic: First Baby Step Towards complete Brahmacharya  (Read 249 times)

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Holden

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First Baby Step Towards complete Brahmacharya
« on: April 16, 2017, 08:04:13 am »
In my 17th year, I was gripped by the misery of life, as Buddha had been in his youth when he saw sickness, old age, pain and death. The truth was that this world could not have been the work of an all loving Being, but rather that of a devil, who had brought creatures into existence in order to delight in their sufferings.
-Schopenhauer

So,was I.In my 17th year,the anguish inside of me really bloomed. I have infinite number of questions & very few answers.I remember one day I was just sitting on my bed reading a magazine article about the Population Bomb, I was horrified with it . I used to hide in my room all the time as I hated the crowds. The number of people has only been rising.
It makes a great deal of sense if I see myself as a prisoner. Every quarter or so,in the office,one or the other of my colleagues can be found distributing sweets & when they come to me to give me the sweets & I ask then what the good news is ,they invariably say that they just had a baby. Every freaking Hollywood movie ends with the main actors together with a baby.
Yes,I am the wet blanket.

I think one of the best ways to find out if one has really give up on the Will to Live is this: has one managed to banish the thoughts about women?
Schopenhauer says "Directly after copulation the devil's laughter is heard”,true,& directly after **** the devil's smile is seen.

Its not enough to not have any children,I think its equally important that one understands that the orgasmic pleasure is a deception,a mirage.

It can never quench your thirst ,only heighten it.






« Last Edit: January 11, 2022, 10:58:30 am by Holden »
La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.

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Re: First Baby Step Towards complete Brahmacharya
« Reply #1 on: January 11, 2022, 10:04:25 am »
Quote from: Holden
I think one of the best ways to find out if one has really give up on the Will to Live is this: has one managed to banish the thoughts about women?

This does not seem possible if it is hard-wired into our wetware.  I recall reading Hermann Hesse's Siddhartha in high school as a teenager.  The Buddha had many concubines before his awakening, no?   I remember in the novel when a woman kicked a man's leg, it was a sign that she was interested in pair-bonding with him. 

Well, when this happened to me just recently, as I have just barely gotten over one "romantic delusion," I found myself resisting ... Also, there is a feeling of "hurting a woman's feelings if her advances are ignored."  She may mistake my shyness and ambivalence for repulsion.  I am not the type of man who "goes on dates" or actively seeks out a  mate, but, if in my travels a woman shows me affection, it is difficult to resist since I am such a love-starved, broken-hearted and profoundly wounded man. 

I am not making an excuse for intrusive thoughts, but how does one banish the dreams of the night when visited by succubi?  How does one deny the copulatory gaze? 

From Psychology Today:

Quote
Women from places as different as the jungles of Amazonia, the salons of Paris, and the highlands of New Guinea apparently flirt with the same sequence of expressions.

First the woman smiles at her admirer and lifts her eyebrows in a swift, jerky motion as she opens her eyes wide to gaze at him. Then she drops her eyelids, tilts her head down and to the side, and looks away.

This sequential flirting gesture is so distinctive that [German ethologist Irenaus] Eibl-Eibesfeldt was convinced it is innate, a human female courtship ploy that evolved eons ago to signal sexual interest.

"Copulatory" Gaze


The gaze is probably the most striking human courting ploy. Eye language. In Western cultures, where eye contact between the sexes is permitted, men and women often stare intently at potential mates for about two to three seconds during which their pupils may dilate—a sign of extreme interest. Then the starer drops his or her eyelids and looks away.

No wonder the custom of the veil has been adopted in so many cultures. Eye contact seems to have an immediate effect. The gaze triggers a primitive part of the human brain, calling forth one of two basic emotions—approach or retreat. You cannot ignore the eyes of another fixed on you; you must respond. You may smile and start conversation. You may look away and edge toward the door. But first you will probably tug at an earlobe, adjust your sweater, yawn, fidget with your eyeglasses, or perform some other meaningless movement—a "displacement gesture"—to alleviate anxiety while you make up your mind how to acknowledge this invitation, whether to flee the premises or stay and play the courting game.

It is not so much the orgasmic pleasure as it is the physical affection and the mood lift of being acknowledged as being worthy of such affection.  Even as I have been alone and detached for decades, there always seems to be a particular woman, or even a few women, who become part of my inner life, that is, my imagination, my sexual fantasies lurking in the heart-mind-body.

I do not have a handle on this and will most likely be tormented by ambivalence until these impulses fade away altogether.

« Last Edit: January 11, 2022, 04:36:47 pm by Gorticide »
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

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