{∅, {∅}, {∅, {∅}}} : Rage Against the Meat Grinder

Mr.Ibra,

Thank you for your message. It is always great to see your message. I am very sorry about what is happening in Syria.I am very happy to know that you are no longer a wage slave. I also hope that you would be able to find sustenance.

I have noticed that you are quite good at programming and mathematics. Please be safe. I hope your parents and relatives manage to stay out of harm's way.

Like you,I am  also experiencing a great deal of pressure to become a slave to a woman and to perpetuate misery on this planet.
But I am quite clear in my head-I will not,even if that should mean that I will have to die a dog's death in a street somewhere.

This always helps me, so I am sharing it with you:

Go All The Way Poem by Charles Bukowski

“If you’re going to try, go all the way.

Otherwise, don’t even start.

This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind.

It could mean not eating for three or four days.

It could mean freezing on a park bench.

It could mean jail.

It could mean derision.

It could mean mockery — isolation.

Isolation is the gift.

All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it.

And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds.

And it will be better than anything else you can imagine.

If you’re going to try, go all the way.

There is no other feeling like that.

You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire.

You will ride life straight to perfect laughter.

It’s the only good fight there is.”

Please take care and please do write here wherever you get the opportunity.

When I look at the world really well,with a great deal of focus, I find it hollow. Festivals, relationships- all on them without any solid foundation.
I hunger. I thirst. Today because of a big festival here, I am some time which I could devote to my studies.
Most of the people around me,they don't seem like solitude at all. I can go for thousands of years without seeing another human face.

My solitude nourishes me.I use Whatsapp for work related purposes and I see a lot of my colleagues have put the pictures of their kids in their profiles.They also write captions to the effect that their kids the reason why they are alive. Their kids are their motivation.

I ,on the other hand, have none-neither false motivation, nor any reasons to live.By that I do not mean that I envy them.Only that I find them existentially dishonest.



The branded stuff in the video-all of them, footwear and jewellery and what not -that is supposed to make like easier?
I am trying to understand the world, the best I can. It is not pretty. For some, happiness means staying in five star hotels,traveling overseas,clothes, perfumes.

I only wish for a small room with my books. Even that wish is not justified.When I was leaving the hostel ,at the year of my three year undergraduate program, a fellow student who was a gort par excellence came up to me and said that he finds it very unfortunate that during the course of three years, I was hardly even to be seen and that I am never really involved in any team activities.
 
To my mind, that was a compliment, a compliment which would like to receive that the end of my time here  on this wretched Earth.
I am not the team players the employers are looking for.

Thanks for the response,Mr.Ibra. Romance,politics, humanity, as you rightly indicate are merely words. They have no content.
I have been observing myself closely. I am in one of two states. Either I am suffering some kind of mental anguish,generally related to my work place, during those moments, I feel so terrible inside that I almost end up vomiting.

In  second state of mind  I am bracing for the next shock ,which is always around the corner.

In most people optimism  is hardwired. Those who have kids would never accept the logic of pessimism.