Philosophers in Rags :: We dive deeper, and come up muddier.

Holden,

What I write is nothing new and to be honest, compared to what you, Hentrich and others have written in this blog, I am just scribbling. I admit my ignorance is vast.

Did Socrates not say "I only know that I know nothing"?

Do you not think that all these philosophies and religions are just mental masturbations. We know nothing. Language is also a barrier. Who has absolute truth?

All mothers use children to give them a purpose in life. Pure selfishness and pure pleasure. Selfishness is not love, as you yourself are experiencing now. It is like using my genitals to masturbate. There is clearly a sadomasochistic part in human beings. The more punishment we get, the more we obey. Human nature.

God is love, most say. This world is servant to evil.

We are commanded: Be good, do good, respect the weak, most say but we do otherwise. We do not respect the unborn, for  we want heirs, we want our proud bloodlines to continue. We are great, we are wonderful, we are holy. The newborn are manpower.

These parents say they love tyranny but they impose existence.From the destructive womb of our supposed mother, Eve, a cemetery of millions came into existence.

8 billion dead.

I heard that an Australian aboriginal tribe, tired of the Anglo-Saxon destruction, they decided for self-extinction and as a result they vanished.

They impose punishments. Why should I be here? Going through all the stages in life until death comes. I heard someone that one should not commit suicide even if you do not expect nothing of life, you can do a service to your fellow human beings. 

We,humans, are ruthlessly exploited. Who benefits? Humans produce for a purpose.Our own bodies are guinea pigs in this laboratory. We are recycled. That is the reason, I think, we need to sleep. The brain needs updating. If we do not sleep for three days, we die.

Maybe that is what is reincarnation is about.

We are an experiment for some unknown purpose. Maybe we are grown to be cosmetics. Maybe the sun is giant oven and human beings are minerals or cosmetics cooked.

Just by observing the behavior of humanity, we can say that we are machines.

Let me quote these words by Albert Caraco taken from Say No to Life blog:

"The more I grow older, the more the Gnosis speaks to my reason, the world isn’t ruled by a Providence, it’s intrisically evil, deeply absurd, and Creation is the dream of a blind intellect or a game of a principle without a moral.

Blessed are the dead! And thrice cursed are those who, taken by madness, breed! Blessed the chaste! Blessed the sterile! Blessed even those who prefer lust instead of fertility! "

Stay well, ride safely.

Holden,
Thank you for your words. When I said that most philosophies and religions are mental masturbations, I did not include Schopenhauer and Hentrich,Cioran and others. I should have written that optimist philosophies and religions are mental masturbations. Most are only interested in the feel good psychology. Part of our human nature. I also want to be a hynotized sheep.

I am glad that your interaction with philosophy has produced a healthy child-fearlessness in face of death. Really glad that your mental life, as you say, is far more real than your biological life and also glad that you value the life of the mind highly. I wish philosophy could sustain me like you. But this is not my case. But let me say,as I wrote before, that I admire your commitment to the study of philosophy and mathematics. You have been very consisten in all the posts you have written so far.

But I must tell you that I am not a healthy child and I fear death. That is the problem with one is condemned to life without consent. And even if I was asked if I wanted to come to Earth, I would say no. But my birth was an imposition. If my parents thought that I would make the world a better place,well, I proved them deeply wrong. I admit that in the face of death I am a coward. I have no obligation to be a brave, courageous, etc. Life is excellent in providing fear everywhere. We are sent to this war called life already knowing the final result. 

You write you have been stabbed in the back. I stabbed some people in the back by betraying their trust. You know we get broken in life. You have much experience. We suffer and at the same we inflic suffering. Endless cycle. That is the curse of existence. The best is not to be born.

Stay well and ride safely.

Holden,

Thank you for your response. From time to time I go near a hairdresser´s. I always see a lot of young and mature women. The personification of selfishness. Always looking at the mirror, trying to see if they have any wrinkles, using lipstick, worring about the body, a body to be swallowed by the worms. I understand these hot ladies because deep down they want to be wrecked to the bones all night long. Although my drive, so to speak, is almost gone, I still would like to see the ladies naked and licking each other. Wet dreams that cannot come true without tons of money.

Prisoners in this human farm. I forget that all humans share the two sexes at the same time. Artificial separation. Ugly thing to say that females are males castrated. Probably our male ancestors breastfed with our atrophied nipples. Better two sexes than one. Good for the farm, while one spends time raising and feeding the future slaves, the other spends time at work. Exploitation on a full scale. Otherwise human beings would not be here. We are part of an industry without mercy.

Sex is the engine that keeps this prison farm running. Love is a lie. I hear some say “my baby, my son, my daughter, my husband”, all selfishness, all possessive. These girls and women would not have husbands, partners,boyfriends, fuucckkbuuddiiees if they did not have sex with them. No sex, no companion. A truly bitter bargain.

Women dream with their white dresses and dream of going to the weddings with smiling faces. Weddings that lead to the slaughterhouse. Of course now things are a little different, you have sperm banks for single mothers and the show goes on. Very few adopt babies.

Many years ago I remembered hearing a girl getting worried because she had small breasts. Her boyfriend like big ones.
If human beings were born with a pig´s face, that would be the normal thing we would be happy with life, and we would look at the mirror and say to ourselves “How handsome I am”, how cute I am”.

We accept the unacceptable, life. Life is a prison. The chains will not be broken unless there is a catastrophe like the deluge.

You write that "most people forget the dead man in a couple of months. It is just a matter of a couple of months. If anything I know a good number of people who would be ecstatic were I to disappear. Let them life. Let them choose life."

Yes, it is true that the dead are forgotten fast. I have learned that it is good not to leave memories. I know this is a contradiction because this blog will stay long after all of us are gone. Something will remain about you, Hentrich and others. I learned but not practiced that it is better not to leave memories, house, even photographs of our presence here. Difficult. Not even the names in the graveyards must remain. More difficult because what are the burocrauts going to do?

I think I am wasting your time, Holden, because I do not have the insights that you have.

Take care, eat apples because they help with the brain health.

Senor Raul,
Maybe Paraguayan women are particularly beautiful☺.I would request you to be so kind as to continue to correspond.It maybe only be a matter of a few more days.Will to Life is a tricky and a deceptive thing so I cannot really say. However,I think this time they have caught me in a trap that is water tight.

However,in the end ,I mean, just before I go I shall forgive them all for everything they have done to me.I do not want to be stuck in this veil of maya for the so-called revenge.So,I forgive everyone for everything.With hindsight's benefit I can say that I was destined for this kind of an end from the beginning. I mean, I guess I am even more weird than Lovecraft himself.Everyone just despices me naturally.

Mental torment is unbearable.You have been kind enough to listen my ,probably,the last confessions.You have been kind to me.
Well,its like this-you have a bike ,lets say,and  you do not particularly like it but now that you have it ,you use it and have no particular reason to throw it away.But if it were to breakdown time and again you would perhaps think its better to go on foot than to drag the bike after you.
Well,there you have it:my bike no longer carries me.I am required to drag it along.

I wanted to go where there is no “space” and thus no sense of direction. No language either. However, “something” has intervened.

Today is the 230th Birth Anniversary of Schopenhauer. I came to the office fearing the worst as a big time conspiracy had been slated to come to fruition against me for some time. I was in the wash room and ran into the secretary of the top boss here-he gave me rather favourable news. Then, he asked me to see him in his office. I went to see him and he gave me a piece of document which was quite favourable to me.

I wonder if I spirit of Schopenhauer is in some metaphysical way looking after me. I think whatever it is-maybe it wants to give me a bit more time so that I might perform my metaphysical duties.

The sceptics are welcome to laugh away. But my heart is pure and “when a willing victim who had committed no treachery was killed in a traitor's stead, the Table would crack and Death itself would start working backwards."

I do not claim to know what that force is that shielded me today in such a big way. But maybe it wants to wield my person to further its own ends. It’s a force for the good.

So,I take this opportunity to thanks that force ,Schopenhauer and you (for you brought me to Schopenhauer).

I could be wrong of course, it might merely be a coincidence and maybe I am anthropomorphising. But I think not. It is as if a huge steel shield fell between me a thousand arrows meant to shred me to bits. This is my true and genuine testimony. Now, I may not be a university philosopher writing books on Schopenhauer to earn money-no, I earn money by selling the only commodity I possess-my labour. But whatever little time I get,  I spend it to deepen by understanding of Schopenhauer’s philosophy and to write about it here.

Maybe some benevolent force has decided to give me a lease of life- and I shall make use of it as selflessly and sincerely as possible.

Thank you, Schopenhauer. Thank you, Herr Hentrich. Thank you, Senor Raul.

It pleases me greatly to hear that Fate has cut you some slack, and on the 22nd of February no less.

Synchronicity.

You know, now that you mention this, I have to also bear witness to another coincidence.  I knew my code was complete last night, and this morning I actually felt free to discard many scraps of notes, jotting down tricky solutions to several of the hurdles.  I can finally get back to what I was studying before I was possessed by these demons to code. 

So, while I had thought the birth of the Old School Square Root Algorithm Teacher was in synch with the 11th, the actual fruition process completed exactly with the eve of the 22nd, and this morning a great burden has lifted and I am finally actually satisfied with it.   I am moving on.

My patron saint is an atheist, Arthur Schopenhauer!