Sometimes all one wants to do is to slit the wrists. When one suffers a great loss,one also senses a strange sort of relief. The relief of hitting the rock bottom.
What happens when the individual and the society he is in, are completely antithetical to each other?
God only knows how I would spend the rest of my life which is clearly not worth living. I aspire for no material possessions,no social status,no family,no renown.Merely time to study philosophy and mathematics. Is that too much to ask? Apparently it is.
Fate has decided that I must be given no leisure. I must suffer and wriggle like the worm that I am. Alright then,this worm will wriggle,till he wriggles no more.
To fail at everything.Yes, everything. To fail at everything. To lose everyone. To lose very shred of consolation. That is my fate. What did Nietzsche say? Amor fati.No,no.Never. Odium Fati,it is and will always be.