Author Topic: I just want to be a holy fool  (Read 396 times)

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Nation of One

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I just want to be a holy fool
« on: August 15, 2017, 12:37:41 pm »
I love to work through high school mathematics textbooks and attempt to write simple mathematical programs because I enjoy working in dummy mode.

I delight in witnessing how easily I err.

I do not aspire to be a "great philosopher" nor do I wish to be a revolutionary spiritual leader of any kind.

How I long to embrace total disillusionment!

I want to type up something I had scribbled in one of my "mathematical sketchpads" - not to be confused with "mathematical scratchpad":

One might think that I would be embarrassed or ashamed to be revisiting "high school geometry" after having graduated from the state university with honors 15 years ago.  To those who are embarrassed for me I would say, "I don't remember anything from tenth grade geometry.  I only have this vague feeling that this was the year I began feeling like a fraud and started to lose my confidence.  I owe this to myself.  I may appear less intelligent to those who think I understand physics and multivariable calculus just because I studied these in a university and received the grade of 'A' or '4.0' as input into the 'GPA', but I have to live with myself in my own skin.  I would rather appear less intelligent than to be a fraud."

Do you understand, Holden, that I just want to be myself, that I do not aspire to be a so-called great man?
« Last Edit: August 15, 2017, 01:34:28 pm by { { } } »
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~

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Nation of One

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Re: I just want to be a holy fool
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2020, 10:04:11 am »
Schopenhauer as Evolutionist ---  and the current Professionals in Charge would have a hefty assortment of psychiatric diagnoses in the form of mood disorders for the brooding Arthur.

A day in the life of a ... what is it we're supposed to be today?   My heart overflows with bitterness.   This is what Schopenhauer called "The Will" - it is Life, and it is Evil.
« Last Edit: February 16, 2020, 10:36:48 am by mudslide mike »
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~