Author Topic: A Question for Herr Hauser and Senor Raul  (Read 176307 times)

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Gorticide :: Admin Elder Warrior

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Re: A Question for Herr Hauser and Senor Raul
« Reply #1005 on: November 28, 2021, 06:56:15 am »
Senor Raul,

If I may interject, before laying down again, I wish to comment that what you have written resonates with me especially this morning.

Quote from: raul
Your parents, everybody´s parents, brought us into this infernal paradise. They did not know what they were doing. They still don´t know the tragedy they caused. In their view, bringing you to this world was an act of love.

I prepared a meal (with my mother) for my parents and I to share a couple days ago.  My parents have been divorced since 1980, when I was 13.   For what it is worth, I must be sensitive to the slightest insults, for I could feel myself becoming resentful when my father (80) would seem to be boasting for a cousin of mine who received a promotion to lieutenant with the New York State Troopers.   I can't fathom how my Dad would even think this would impress me.   I found myself blurting things out, such as, "Who the Hell wants a boss and a wife, or even kids for that matter, kids who will be tools for advertisers, demanding to consume, consume, consume gadgets and guns?!"

I was also critical of the football games, saying I do not take "grown men who play with balls very seriously," no matter how much they are lionized by our systemically stupid society.  I can be quite a grumpy little bastard, what with all my injuries and tooth decay.   ::)

The reason what you wrote resonates with me is that I finally realize that my father may lack the sensitive intelligence to even comprehended that he and my mother thoughtlessly assume they have granted me a gift (life), and that my misery is just a sign of some kind of personal flaw or inadequacy.   I really do have to repress a great deal of rage and anger over this.

Did you find yourself resenting the insensitivity of your parents while they were living?  Did you ever confront them "philosophically"?  Should we forgive our parents for their ignorance and arrogance, or should we sometimes glare at them defiantly?   8)

Even though many might be ashamed to harbor such deep-seated existential resentment, I am not ashamed at all.   I want to face "how I truly feel" so as to totally destroy the internalized oppressor which my parents seem to defer to.  They both defer to status quo mainstream values.  I suspect my father thinks I am a weirdo.   :D


PS:  I can only sleep a few hours at a time, but I find myself praying to die in my sleep.  Again, I am not ashamed to admit it.  I wish more people were as honest (with themselves) as the handful of us posting here.
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

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