Author Topic: A child's play  (Read 994 times)

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Holden

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A child's play
« on: September 16, 2016, 09:44:40 pm »
As the child rushes from thing to thing, toying with it until his interest wanes and then moving on, not playing in order to accomplish anything but playing for the sake of playing itself, so too must the subject view the objects of the world as his playthings.
La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.

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Kaspar Hauser

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Goofing Off With Mathematics
« Reply #1 on: September 17, 2016, 02:38:22 pm »
This may be the key to breathing some fun into my current study of mathematics.

If I want to explore integration techniques, fine.  If I prefer to look through an old encyclopedia from 1943 to see how they determined decimal approximations of square roots with pencil and paper (before calculators), that's fine too.

not playing in order to accomplish anything but playing for the sake of playing itself

Especially with mathematics, maybe because of the way many of our encounters with it has been in a structured academic setting, there is a sense of urgency that we be moving in an orderly direction.   

It would be cool if I could look at my collection of mathematics textbooks and manuals as some kind of Oracle that I interact with in a playful manner, the way innocent little Regan played with the Ouija board, contacting Captain Howdy.  Maybe I can interact with Gauss and Euler in a playful manner, innocently invoking them by allowing their algorithms to take residence in my central nervous system.  In this way, in the spirit of goofing off (play), may be I just might become possessed by invisible intelligences lurking deep in the collective unconscious. 

What strange creatures we are.   I used to associate alcohol poisoning with "fun".  I would sing and sob.  While I can't seem to find "fun" in computations and calculations, there has to be some kind of aesthetic pleasure in it that draws me back to it each morning ... to tinker into the evening ... to keep track of my explorations in various notebooks simultaneously ... to be obsessed with computer algebra systems and calculators and very old math texts. 

It comes close to being fun when I allow myself to forget as much as I will, to not fight this tendency to forget ... then to explore once again with a clear mind as though looking at it for the first time. 

To paraphrase Holden, not calculating and computing in order to accomplish anything but  for the sake of calculating and computing itself.

Using my magnifying glass I extract notes worthy of my notebooks, rewriting large enough that I can read over it without the magnifying glass. 

If I can develop this spirit of exploration, where I do not demand of myself that I make progress, but only ask of myself that I become enthusiastic about what is at hand. 

As the child rushes from thing to thing, toying with it until his interest wanes and then moving on ... the moment my interest (enthusiasm) wanes, I can move on to a different area. 

Do you find it peculiar that those who discipline themselves in "Zen" meditation seek to empty their minds, and yet when studying mathematics our memory is continuously taxed?   I would get nowhere without pencil and paper. 

Maybe we ought to be delighted that we forget everything we study.

We can remain amazed for eternity since nothing will be taken for granted.
« Last Edit: September 17, 2016, 08:02:58 pm by {∅} »
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

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forthebirds

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Re: A child's play
« Reply #2 on: October 19, 2016, 12:12:44 am »
I'm tired of not enjoying myself.

For too long, I have tried to be proper. Tried to be polite. What has it brought me? The others around only saw me as rigid, and maybe they were right. My attempt to fit in with others' perceptions and expectations only ended up backfiring, and I became a nervous human. I became weak. I no longer wish to express this side of me. I wish to express something new... or maybe something old. Something that I have always possessed, but repressed. My childself. I was fun-loving once. I was a joker, a smoker, a midnight-toker. But I forgot. WHY???!!! Was it the one day I discovered who really ran the world? Was it the day I read of the reps that I lost my sense of humor? Was it the day I lost my friends? These happened at the same time, and I doubt it was a coincidence. but again, WHY? Why did I have to loose myself to realize that the world has been gortified?! Damn you, knowledge. Life was funner when I was just a fool. I want my life back. I want my old self back. I desire this NOW.

To relate to the rigidity of my current self, I might be able to apply my unwavering quality to this: My quest is now to remember how to have fun. DO NOT FALTER IN THIS MISSION.

I must find some power in the Great Void to rekindle this state of being.

My quest for child's play begins...

Kaspar Hauser

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Re: A child's play
« Reply #3 on: October 19, 2016, 09:46:10 am »
ForTheBirds,

Let us know if you find anything fun.

I have also forgotten how to have fun ... maybe we are not here to have fun.

All we can hope to do is endure ourselves.
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~

forthebirds

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Re: A child's play
« Reply #4 on: October 26, 2016, 01:17:32 am »
I have also forgotten how to have fun ... maybe we are not here to have fun.

I think we are supposed to have fun. In my perspective, it's a game. The problem is, EVERYONE forgot! We are like the creators of the most challenging VR game ever. Only once we put on the VR headset, we immediately forgot it was a game.

This seems by design, though. For how does the puzzle-maker enjoy his own puzzle?


It is like delayed gratification on a unimaginative scale...

My view, anyway.

I will let you know if I find something fun.

Kaspar Hauser

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Re: A child's play
« Reply #5 on: October 26, 2016, 11:29:37 am »
I am trying to go against the grain by having fun studying math.

In a real sense, I have to maintain an exploratory approach.

The same with computing and exploring bleeding edge Arch Linux installations ... on older machines ...

The very things that cause distress become a challenge that could be kind of fun once one gets used to surfing the learning curve of Sisyphus.   I think the ancient mystics called it the Beginner's Mind.   

Anyway, thanks for keeping us posted.   We may not be here to have fun, but that doesn't mean we aren't going to find some amusement along the way.  Hell, I've seen jailbirds laughing in the sunshine!  Who knows where joy is hiding ...

We can prepare ourselves for the worst without denying ourselves a little fun.
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~

Kaspar Hauser

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Re: A child's play
« Reply #6 on: October 27, 2016, 12:44:42 am »
Still, come to think of it, I am not so sure looking for "fun" is a practical approach to enduring existence.

Maybe I'm just getting tired.

But, no ... I think it may be a mistake to want to have fun or to be happy.

Contentment is a mild form of happiness.  This will have to do.

What is fun, anyway?

Getting a computer to dual boot?   Running free 8 gigabyte computer algebra systems?  Drinking 2 six packs of Molson Ice while beating on drums and toking on gonja?

Hysteria and Mania ...

Maybe there really is no such thing as fun, and those who tell others they need to have fun are at best, full of shiit phonies, or worse, they want to make you even more depressed by getting you to actually believe that somewhere there are these people having "fun", when, in actuality, there is are only stomachs, tubes, eaters of food with failing eye-sight and decaying teeth.

Fun?   Maybe we can find ourselves ridiculous, then you can consider our slandering the universe a kind of "fun".
« Last Edit: October 27, 2016, 10:59:05 am by {∅} »
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~

Kaspar Hauser

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Mental Stimulation
« Reply #7 on: October 27, 2016, 01:11:30 pm »
Rather than "fun" - I prefer mental stimulation.
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~

forthebirds

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Re: A child's play
« Reply #8 on: October 27, 2016, 04:46:24 pm »
Mental, spiritual, hmmm... physical? ;)

I think also that "stimulation" is a better word than fun. Fun sounds vague. Stimulation is, at least, more specific. It means something. Some kind of electrical impulses sent through the brain that I will decode as some kind of pleasure. Then it is a quest of stimulation. Though a specific kind of stimulation that is pleasurable to me.

I will discover something new.. Something old in me. I don't know. Maybe it is about time that I begin to explore the hedonistic side of me. Maybe I'll start playing with alcohol? Not on a deep level, but as a starting point to self-discovery..? What have we to do here. I like where you're going with mathematics and computers. I'd be nowhere near that field as far as my knowledge goes, but I'm going to start playing video games again like I used to when I was a kid. Video games and alcohol. Sounds fun. Sounds... stimulating. At least right now. After that, if I start chasing women again, I may go in with an attitude of not giving a fudge. No longer seeking love, only pleasure, fun, and stimulation. All of my goals always get sidetracked from distractions of attempting to build these long lasting relationships that just fall apart. I won't deny that I have a weakness to having relations with the opposite sex. But what I can do is feed that hunger, if it comes, but stop equating sex with love. I think I am coming to a point of understanding that I don't need love from another. I think this whole time, I thought I did.

So... sex, games, and alcohol. I may be onto something...

tbc

Kaspar Hauser

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Re: A child's play
« Reply #9 on: October 27, 2016, 06:38:13 pm »
Just be careful.

I'm not so sure video games will stimulate your brain.   They might put you in a hypnotic state and make you more depressed.

As for alcohol, maybe it does make the brain a little more interesting.   Just, be careful.  Myself, I have had my share of chemical stimulants ... well, now I am a coffee monster.   

Maybe it has something to do with diminishing sex drive over the years, but even as far back as 25 years ago, I have some kind of recollection of sexual relations being not merely disappointing, but actually depressing.  There was too much pressure to seek satisfaction ... Again, it's probably just me and my broken dick.   :D

Back in the days of the whywork.org forums, I called myself Broken Spirit.

Maybe, just to chuckles, I should call myself Broken Dick ... in the spirit of George Carlin ...

If I am able to poke fun of myself about an issue that is normally quite personal (sensitive male ego), in the viag-ra obsessed advertising industry, I think this would be a step towards a special kind of happiness:  powerful resignation from chasing pleasure, resolved to be satisfied simply enduring myself.

On second thought, I'll stick to a symbol for a name.  Chief Broken Dick just sounds vulgar. 
« Last Edit: October 27, 2016, 08:16:18 pm by Chief Broken Dick »
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~

Holden

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The Schopenhauerian Conservative
« Reply #10 on: October 27, 2016, 11:14:50 pm »
Mr.H,I hope your meeting went well and I also hope that they leave you alone for good very soon.

For the birds,
I hope you are better now you wish to have fun well,that is what most folks are looking for I guess I myself have made several pro-socialism ,even pro-Marxist comments over here.
Only reading Schopenhauer has changed me in more ways than one, I now like to call myself the Schopenhauer Conservative.
In a world that is will,manifesting itself in millions of individuals; and through them inflicting on itself pointless and unredeemed suffering,a world of constantly needy creatures who continue for a time merely by devouring one another,pass their existence in anxiety and want,and often endure terrible afflictions, until they fall at last into the arms of death.

My idea of fun:hiding alone in a room with a door having three locks at-least, keeping a sack of lentils/beans, a pea shooter, and lots of books-many of them by an individual whose first name was Arthur.

Keep well.
« Last Edit: October 28, 2016, 12:26:58 am by Holden »
La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.

Holden

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Re: A child's play
« Reply #11 on: November 01, 2016, 01:07:02 pm »
It is not unexpected to find Schopenhauer regarding  tragedy as standing at the pinnacle of dramatic  art,coming closest ,in what it treats of,to the fundamental reality of things- the terrible side of life...the unspeakable pain,the ills of humanity,the triumph of evil, the scotnful domination of chance,and the irretrievable fall of the just and innocent.
La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.

Kaspar Hauser

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Re: A child's play
« Reply #12 on: February 04, 2017, 11:00:10 pm »
...  the lies people tell themselves and their children in an attempt to turn what is essentially a multi-billion year horror show into a fairy tale about "spiritual beings having a physical experience" ...

gary

You know, when I first saw InMendham on ZooTube, it kind of gave me the creeps.  He looked like someone who might have passed out LSD down by the Lake in my teenage years ...

And yet, now I see that he is just broadcasting things I have too much sympathy with others to say.   I wouldn't want to fracture anyone's protective and insulated belief structures that keeps them "functional".   We have to be careful with these ideas.  One has to come to these conclusions on their own.   

« Last Edit: February 04, 2017, 11:23:22 pm by Math Monkey »
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~