Author Topic: corny math jokes  (Read 784 times)

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The Last Messiah

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corny math jokes
« on: August 21, 2018, 11:40:32 pm »
1. An engineer thinks that his equations are an approximation to reality. A physicist thinks reality is an approximation to his equations. A mathematician doesn't care. 

2. Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules.
Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.

3.  God is real, unless proclaimed an integer.


4.  The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell. (St. Augustine)


5.  A professor's enthusiasm for teaching precalculus varies inversely with the likelihood of his having to do it.


6. "He was restless during the days and couldn't sleep at night - always trying to solve his problem. When he had finally done it, he wasn't happy: he calls himself a complete idiot and throws all his notes into the garbage. Then he said, he really enjoyed it."     ;D


7.   Golden rule of deriving: never trust any result that was proved after 11 PM.

On that note …  :P
« Last Edit: August 21, 2018, 11:51:45 pm by Henry [He Not Rich] »
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~

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The Last Messiah

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Re: corny math jokes
« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2018, 12:14:38 am »
A mathematician is a machine for converting coffee into theorems.
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~

The Last Messiah

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Re: corny math jokes
« Reply #2 on: January 06, 2021, 05:32:41 pm »
(an original one that George Carlin or Doug Stanhope might appreciate):

I have done the math one too many times.


or

I have done the math one too many times; therefore, I have come to the conclusion that I shall never be satisfied.
« Last Edit: January 06, 2021, 05:34:32 pm by Sticks and Stones »
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~

Gorticide

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Re: corny math jokes
« Reply #3 on: August 18, 2021, 10:08:18 am »
Two is the oddest prime. It's even.