{∅, {∅}, {∅, {∅}}} : Rage Against the Meat Grinder

Also going forward don't trust anyone,don't trust your relatives.Try to take it one step at a time,you are a highly intelligent man ,to say the least, you can sort this message out.

Try not to share your money with your relatives.They are just not worth it

Look for the smallest and the cheapest possible room you could find.
You are incredibly strong mentally.
And you have much to contribute to mathematics. Try to think s-l-o-w-ly.

I am not able to just bail out and allow my mother to be hoodwinked into believing that this plan my nephew came up with could actually work out for my mother.   She has many needs.  Not only that, but my presence as DOG/MAN=Steppenwolf is something that is not replaceable.   There needs to be a month for reflection, for allowing the ship to rock but not tip over.  We might absorb this shocking collision of personalities.

I am prepared for detaching from nephew Yosi Wu Qi as he has made it clear to me that he is some kind of covert agent for a conspiracy against the Genius represented by my passion.   That is, for a long, long time now, since about 2006 when Chi Monkey and Gorticide had experienced an explosive dissolution during the tail end of "gortbusters.org" --- the "Jewish wife" had hijacked his brain, filling his mind with anti-Germanic propaganda.    It has been this way ever since, but I had to be burned repeatedly in order to reach this level of clarity.

Burn me once?  Shame on you. Burn me two or three times?  Shame on me.  Relatives ought never be given a free pass to your Inner Circle.   They are overestimating the power of their scheming and conspiring minds.    While my perception of this reality may have at one time been easily mistaken for delusional hyper-fiction, I do trust that, in time, especially this week when the [magic?] teardrops that were cried in the soil of the garden work their way into the roots ... and into the vegetation (squash, cucumbers) that is to come forth presently on into September.

Were it not for the garden, and this being the fifth year here, I might have jumped at this golden opportunity to allow my mother's erroneous perceptions of reality to liberate me from the burden of  this "slavery via birth" (when aging child must care for aging parent).   My love and attachment to my relation to the plants in the garden is alive in me.  I want to continue to "be in the garden" ... I also am still my mother's son, and - unlike Arthur Schopenhauer, I do have a great deal of patience, no matter what ends up written in police reports (as reported by liars) and psychiatric evaluations (doctors and dollars that make you holler), and I am not so sure I can plan too far into the future.

I want to walk to the garden before the thunder clouds drop rain. 

Peace !    I feel the power within even though I seem to be only able to squeeze out a whispering voice (like the goddamn Godfather).

PS:  Thank you, Holden, for the comparison with 7-foot-tallness.  This becomes quite problematic when the animosity/hatred is coming from an easily-manipulated by lies officer.   Fortunately for me, even though the officer was getting it all back-wards, I did very much appreciate this large black officer, before ordering me to govern myself in a less "verbally abusive" manner, acknowledged that I, "Mike the Gardener" that is, was somewhat of an elder to him, the officer-himself (in charge) that is.  His order for me to govern myself with the awareness that my nephew and mother are (grandson [38] with grandmother [78]) visiting.  Rather than engage in any argument about my conspiracy theories with the armed officers, I opted to just remove myself until the agent provocateur was finished with the details of his plan on how to help my mother become independent of me.    He does not want my mother to be economically trapped in a living arrangement where, the one she depends on must himself depend on government relief (for mood disorder / chemical imbalance).

He painted a picture of an over-stressed me lashing out in frustration over that which may be too much for him (me) to take.

Overall, that officer, as well as his two assistants, did help to diffuse the situation.  It also put my nephew in check.   At that point, I detached into a very special couple's residence to be sure to prevent any future opportunities for the nephew provoking some kind of "psychotic episode" in me (when I go ape-shit).

He has since left, and may have left Dirty Jersey altogether, heading back towards That Which Sent Him.  He is, after all, deluded enough to believe he is some kind of guru or shaman; but nothing that is so, is so .... That holier than though attitude is as repulsive to me in "New Age Hippy-Dippy Horseshit" as it is in any other Wellness-Guru Health Nazi counseling.

I am also fed up with so many who are looking transform the misery of those suffering from mental illness into a career.  These aspiring "talk-therapists" forget that mental illness is more like pollution which spreads up into everything. It is raw, and you may experience in what we call "the heart and soul" and even all up in the gastrointestinal system.  When someone is giving me advice, like to make appointment with a psychiatrist, I immediately remind them that many with diagnoses of mental illness have superior mental health in comparison with the general mental illness the professional most likely is experiencing between their very own ears.

Thank you so much for your perspective on this.   While reading your words, I found them to be on par with The Aborigine of the original "Stump the Aborigine" of Gort Busters.  In fact, your perceptions are all the more penetrating due to your unique perspective.  That is, unlike the Aborigine, who I had sent edited "Letters from the Breath of Life," excerpts from diaries 1987-1998, you have had access to the scanned versions of saved pages from actual journals/diaries/notes.  What you may have picked up unconsciously, and even consciously, from your free-spontaneous explorations of such day-to-day entries, would give you an added dimension of insight into the overall dynamics of the situation.  Thank you for this, Holden.   I would much rather you be responsible for any potential biography.   History is taken from police reports which contain manipulated information and outright lies.  So much for history.

I do feel a certain devotion to Schopenhauer, and I did feel his presence during these last few days of raw emotion and processing those emotions.  While Hollywood is limited to the "Star Wars" (the force is with you) type communication ("Micky loves you!"), where there is ghost, what I felt was Schopenhauer observing my experience and reliving painful memories from his heated conflicts with his own mother.   There was a time when I had a collection of biographies, including The Wild Years of Philosophy.   As you may be aware, I lose an entire lifetime of books when I went out to Seattle to help my nephew who was complaining of feeling suicidal with his wife badgering and psychologically tormenting him.  He conveniently rewrites his memories of those times.   While I was out West, my mother was forced to sell her little home in Freehold.  The library (and drums and computers) had been in her basement.  I lost everything except a trunk of journals salvaged by my brother-in-law (nephew's father) who was helping my mother move in my absence.  A couple other men were helping.   The 14 European-style notebooks I had used to rewrite notes and exercises from some courses I took at Rutgers (2000-2002) went missing/stolen, and I have never really gotten over that loss.  It was heartbreaking since there are ideas and concepts I would love to return to one day ... and I am afraid that, whoever has them could never appreciate them the way I would.   They were expensive notebooks. 

So, there is a history, and I had made the same mistake TWICE.  Insanity no more.

I will send copy/paste of letters sent to my sister (so she can explain to my father [in her basement { where nephew lived as a child in home her and husband rent } ] ) to you, raul, and other regular contributors in private message so as to maintain a certain level of privacy and respect.

Micky loves Rocky, and if Schopenhauer loves Heinrich, may he know that this love is reciprocal.  Schopenhauer has been like the Buddha to me.  Honestly, it was like he had been in the basement I lived in 1990 speaking to me.  It was radical!   I had to hunt his books down.  The local library headquarters in Manalapan, New Jersey had to go down into the basement to dig up the three volumed World as Will and Idea, the translation prior to the most excellent Payne translation with the great index at the end of Volume 2.   

My mother is requesting privacy so she can call her brother to discuss these latest developments which you will find in the private message.

You are a most appreciated Soul Brother, Holden of India!   I will make it to India yet with the notebooks.  maybe one day, a couple decades from now, you might run a book store with my library in there for sale, notebooks used for local community homegrown high schools, and Herr Hauser with his rice bowl sitting peacefully collecting his breakfast ... 

The Muse of Truth may have favored me, Ibra.  Thank you for stating this.  It would explain a great deal, such as when speaking from the heart and witnessing truth flow out.   I compare this to the calculated speech of those focused on manipulating and controlling our perceptions of reality.   I keep reminding myself that we do not know truth, but we "stand in truth".

It is interesting how some Biblical stories express more about the human psyche and the politics of human society as opposed to actual historical narratives.   The Aborigine of Gortbusters used to say that "Myths are real," meaning that they speak allegorically, which was also suggested by Schopenhauer ...

I will wind down tonight and fill some of the last 10 pages of a handwritten notebook/journal as this marks the end of a chapter, most certainly. 

When you read Schopenhauer, neural firings patterns appear in your mind/brain, like the ones that must have cropped up in Schopenhauer's mind while he was alive. 

With respect,perhaps we are confusing Richard Hofstadter,the history professor who writes about anti-intellectalism (of the history department of Columbia University)

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Hofstadter

with Douglus Hofstadter(Godel, Escher, Bach)who graduated in maths from Stanford.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douglas_Hofstadter