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Nation of One

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Game Plan: Work then Suicide
« on: May 09, 2018, 12:45:51 pm »
Notes From Old Diary Material

20 November 2001

My Plans for Post-Graduation:  "Work as a geek somewhere for 25 years and then commit suicide."

(from H-95_2006)
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

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raul

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Re: Game Plan: Work then Suicide
« Reply #1 on: May 10, 2018, 07:51:43 am »
Hentrich,

At the entrance of Auschwitz, the concentration camp, the Nazis put  this slogan: Work Shall Make You Free. Certainly they were freed from their belongings and from their lives later. Earth is Auschwitz.

Yes, that´s the name of the game. Millions of human beings have been doing playing this game plan. But things are changing now. The game plan is no longer appealing. I hear people complain that young people these days do not want to make sacrifices; they want things fast and furious, so to speak. They are impatient. They are not willing to work to death. They see themselves in a dead end.

I think many must be upset with you because you decided not to play this hellish game. You are not a team player.

I don´t know where in the Old Testament a biblical author asks the following question: What profit is there for humans from all their toil at which they toil under the sun?” Those who go to churches, temples or mosques, or synagogues have forgotten this important question.

You see, as you once wrote, males are no longer valuable as they were in the past. I suppose the fact that women getting employment changed the traditional views about contribution to society.

I remember three German words used before the strong reaction of the German feminist movement. They are Kinder, Küche, and Kirche, i.e. Children, Kitchen and Church. I write them in capital letters. I think it was Saint Augustine who said that man was made to rule, woman to obey.

Here too Paraguayan women have been giving birth, cooking and going to worship the controllers of this insane asylum called Earth. I know I can be called a hater of women. However I think because of their nature in general the establishment wants women at work. They are more obedient and docile. Of course many women in history were rebels and outlaws but they are a minority.  I do not see many women, at least here, doing what Fanny Kaplan tried to do, i.e. kill Lenin, Sophie Scholl attacking the Nazi regime and later beheaded with his brother, etc.

Take care and drive safely.

Nation of One

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Re: Game Plan: Work then Suicide
« Reply #2 on: May 10, 2018, 11:25:24 am »
Yes, the older generations are so quick to condemn and criticize the generation which is growing up with access to so much information, be it via the Internet on their computers - or through the Internet on the computers in their so-called "smart-phones".

Granted, I can't imagine trying to address a room filled with a bunch of smart-phone carrying little gorts, but in defense of the youth who are critical of the way of life which demands one own a motor vehicle in order to play the game, hold down some kind of job, aspire to have a career, etc, well, it is better to take a step back and look at the situation objectively.

With access to so much information, the youth will naturally be using more of their intellect, since nearly all this Information they are exposed to involves processing abstractions.

Suicide is the only logical conclusion that the intellect will come up with, and it appears that only a minimal amount of "thinking" about the meaning of our existence will lead to concluding that life is not worth living, that it is an absurd and ridiculous situation we are all in. 

The only solution to this dilemma appears to entail suppressing the conclusions the intellect comes to, and to always keep in mind that life is brief.  In other words, when it comes to actually getting through a life not worth living, if we pose this problem to our intellect, it will repeatedly come up with "I would prefer not to."   When it comes to following through with the act, the heart, at least my own heart (speaking for myself) rebels against the intellect's solution to this dilemma.  Often people facing such existential angst will report feeling that their own brain is trying to kill them.  I think this is just the brain coming up with the only logical conclusion.  Hence, life mocks logic.  Life is irrational, and so, in order to get through this life, I suppose it may help to be a little irrational and even downright insane.

As for the dynamic consequences for men in having so many women enter the work-force, I agree that employers prefer more docile employees, and that once a man has developed an attitude of indifference to the opinions of others, he will naturally lose the desire to appear "successful".

How does one continue to get up each morning and embrace another day of eating, shiiting, securing shelter, etc ?  I sugest that one always keep in mind that what we are born into, "Life," is very brief, and it will all be over before we know it.

It is clear to me that staying alive is not a logical decision.   As you say, we are programmed to want to stay alive.  A few summers ago i nearly drowned in the ocean while caught in an undertow while drunk.   How my body wanted to BREATHE!   How strongly it struggled to remain ALIVE!

There is a yogi mystic in India, Sadhguru, who predicts that over the next 50 years, more than half the population of youth who have grown up with access to so much "intellectual information" will reject the kind of life demanded in an automobile-dependent industrial civilization, and precisely because of so much abstract thinking, will succumb to suicidal ideations.

Anyone who thinks too long about the meaning of existence will come to the conclusion that life is simply not worth the struggle of even getting out of bed in the morning.

He suggests we consider how brief our lives are, and to find a way to just become extremely conscious of our mortality evry day, every moment.

When we come to see how inevitable our own death is, we may be less likely to demand life make sense.

Life does not make any sense.  Life is not logical.

Why we were given a surplus of intellect is unknown to me, but thinking too much about our "existential predicament" is certainly not conducive to living in harmony.

I, for one, am burdened with an abundance of such intellect, and I confess that I do in fact THINK TOO MUCH and TOO DEEPLY.

I and others like me are unfit for living specifically because we wonder what the meaning of it all is.  It does not pay to think about such things, and yet, here we are - and still breathing.

So, it seems we can live with these contradictory impulses, but we are on our own.  With the exception of a rare message board like this one here, few are willing to listen to our views as they have a healthy fear of where such thinking leads.

No, it is better not to think too much about this predicament we are born into.

As you say, we can only pity the youth.  But we can also be patient with ourselves and live our lives as an experiment in how to live even after coming to the logical conclusion that life is not worth living.  I remind myself that I am a speck of dust and that the world will not miss me in the least when Nature takes back the bones and flesh which belong to Her alone.  It matters very little what anyone thinks of us.   It's our business if we choose not to play the games of our society, and whether we ultimatley will reject the Game of Life Itself.

Schopenhauer refered to most as "dupes of Nature."

We are all freaks.  The human animal is a true freak in the Family Tree of Animal Life, and therefore, to be a freak in the Family of Man must be a sign of being too much human and not enough animal. Whereas human beings seem quick to pride themselves on what differentiates them from the rest of the animal kingdom, I suspect that these are the very differences which make us unfit for living.  We are too conscious, too rational, too logical.  Maybe animals suffer well, and yet, thinking that animals suffer less might lead to human society treating animals so insensitively,  This is similar to the phenomenon of supposing that very strong and physically fit human beings suffer less, as in the case of holding human beings in captivity who their respective society's see as a threat.  At this point, I am babbling, and I apologize for that.


Is it the case that the most human animals among us must be unfit for living?  Isn't it precisely what is most human (and rational) about  us that makes us unfit for animal existence?  Those who think too much about the wrongness of bringling life into the world will reproduce less than those who just love to fuuck like flies on shiit.  Those who have most in common with flies will be better fit to survive than those who question what the purpose is to the existence of the world itself.   Why should the world even exist?  Wouldn't no world at all be preferable?  Answerring in the affirmative would make every Creator God of every religion which has a Creator God appear to be a foolish all-powerful idiot, a blind demon, or just Mother Nature who doesn't give a flying fuuck about her "children".  She seems to say, "Tough shiit, deal with it with the rest of my Creation, you little ingrate!"

Civilization does not alter our basic animal nature, although sitting on a toliet to poop is a radically more comfortable experience than squatting to poop while making sure no large (or even tiny) insects are biting your ballsack or crawling into your exposed hole.

Everyone will blame the Information Age should half the population of youth decide to kill themselves rather than playing out their existence where they depend on grocery stores for their sustenance, where they are tied to some job which requires they own a motor vehicle and pay for its maintenance.  A similar situation plays itself out with the prison industry.  To many youth this becomes a lifestyle choice, or maybe huge portions of the population are even corralled into the prison industry as many human animals are simply, by nature, never going to be docile employees who will serve the managers of industrial society.

Eventually our societies will run out of fodder for their military.  They will run out of priests as well.  Wishful thinking. 

It is times like this, when writing a long essay, that I am able to express the most unwelcome sentiments.  Face to face, I may be quite amiable, but how I really feel under the vaneer of polite society, well, it's all very ugly and unpleasant.  Remember, as children, there were times we simply did not like our parents or our siblings. 

Now, with the internet, I wonder about those of us who would be writing in "diaries" more often if we were not going on and on about something or other in blogs, message boards, or just emails.  I wonder if this effects what we choose to express.

The there is this idea that the only people who will be reading our diaires and blogs after we are dead will be employed by law enforcement departments or psychologists who are PAID to study what makes us tick, behavioral scientists?.   :P

We should observe all this objectively and detached from outcomes.  Like George Carlin, it is best if we do not care about the fate of our species. 

If more than half the youth growing up right now choose suicide over whatever life is offered (jails, preisthoods, military "careers", janitors, mental patients, pariahs, etc), then this is just the way civilization is playing itself out.

Myself, I tinker with math.  You know my case.  There are so many things to occupy the intellect, that the intellect finds worthwhile. 

I turned the ground over in the garden and it felt like I had created a holy sanctuary.  I had my hands in the cool dark dirt.  And yet, my animal body does not enjoy working with shovel and wheel barrow.  No, not in the least.   I do the work as late in the day as possible as I it is coolest then, and I jsut don't like laboring in front of others.   It is tiring.

Remember this:  Life is humiliating.  It does not pay to take oneself too seriously.  It is better to find oneself ridiculous, to find life itself absurd ---- We must not allow ourselves to think that we are important in any way.  Really, if the entire universe is some kind of cosmic accident, what do we care about what other accidents-in-the-flesh think about us?

We're doing what we can.  We are trying to express ourselves in a manner which might be appreciated by those who come after us so that they will see that others have run into the same conundrum, and that, if they are feeling like a freak, they might be consoled by the fact that this universe produces only freaks.

Freaks are the rule, not the exception.

Civilization attempts to produce "finished products" and then blames their products for their imperfections.  This is similar to the myth of a Creator God (the so-called "Father in Heaven") creating the human race and then punishing them for their "sins".  What a crock of shiit.
« Last Edit: May 11, 2018, 12:14:15 am by Non Serviam »
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~

Holden

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Re: Game Plan: Work then Suicide
« Reply #3 on: May 10, 2018, 11:25:08 pm »

Life is irrational, and so, in order to get through this life, I suppose it may help to be a little irrational and even downright insane.-Herr Hentrich

Quote
The reader must be reminded that it takes a good 'mind' to be 'insane'. Morons, imbeciles, and idiots are 'mentally' deficient, but could not be insane.
La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.

Holden

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To Senor Raul
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2018, 08:21:31 am »
I once went without food and water for a couple of day-I felt weak but there are no excruciating pain.I could not think straight. I started to get sick. I had to vomit a couple of times but it was by no means unbearable. I wonder if I could have gone on & on..

When I cousin S. died I wanted to attend her funeral but could not-her town was too far off. They told me she hung herself.She was younger to me by four years. I am still here while she has been long gone now. The parents(uncle and aunt) do not want to talk much about her.
I might very well be the only person in the world who still talks about her.She was a rustic lass afraid of large cities & city slickers. And yet cities enchanted her.

It was afternoon when I saw her last,I can still see the dust motes floating in the sunlight,she was suffering from fever then & was pale,very pale-almost a Northerner.
She was fragile & there was a ghost of a smile on her face.
La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.

raul

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Re: Game Plan: Work then Suicide
« Reply #5 on: May 11, 2018, 10:20:56 am »
Hentrich,
Thank you for your clear and enlightening essay. Like the other previous posts it is worth reading several times.

Thinking is a sin and a grave offence. It has been always like that.   Arriving at the conclusion that “Life does not make any sense.  Life is not logical” will get you in too much trouble. Thinking and feeling do not go together. Not at all. As you say “certainly not conducive to living in harmony.”

Your words: “Suicide is the only logical conclusion that the intellect will come up with, and it appears that only a minimal amount of "thinking" about the meaning of our existence will lead to concluding that life is not worth living, that it is an absurd and ridiculous situation we are all in.”

This paragraph alone deserves to be placed in those famous Halls of Fame. Of course that will not happen. Disturbing thoughts will be only read by a few.
   
Many  years ago I saw the movie ,1984, based on George Orwell´s book. That is where I learned of the term doublethink and it referred to this strange ability of us, human beings, to hold two contradictory beliefs in the mind at the same time and to accept both of them. We pretend to be free and yet we are slaves. We, human beings, are just a link in this mad chain.

Who would believe that human beings are just pets in a jail, captured as if we were livestock like domesticated cows, geese, pigs,etc. ?

To accept these dark truths would be unbearable for many. For those who are already past 40 or 50 years old, understanding these truths can be extremely dangerous. Their whole world is destroyed. To realize you were born in a paradise of hell will lead you to insanity. It is easy for some to laugh at those like you and Holden for going against the current. But you know what they say: "he who laughs last, laughs best".

I think you are right when you say that eventually our societies will run out of fodder for their military.  They will run out of priests as well.  Wishful thinking.”

But I understand that this will happen only with a huge catastrophe on Earth. Who knows?
 
Stay safe and take a siesta.

raul

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Re: Game Plan: Work then Suicide
« Reply #6 on: May 11, 2018, 11:45:59 am »
Holden,

Your story is really touching and much painful. Although she is long gone, she is very much alive in your memories.  She lives in you. That is really important.

I know it is sad to say but parents do not understand or do not want to understand that their children begin to die once they leave the womb. That is the journey, from the womb to the tomb, for human beings. There is no escape, as you know. We are given birth and we are supposed to manage on our own.

I remember your words: “This body, this prison made of flesh,blood,bones and nerves would never let me forget, how horribly I suffer, or the fact that I am stuck in this terrible nightmare"

Take care of yourself.

Nation of One

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Re: Game Plan: Work then Suicide
« Reply #7 on: May 24, 2018, 12:12:52 am »
While going over a proof of a theorem about determining whether a conic is a parabola, an ellipse or a hyperbola, I began to experience similar suicidal ideations as I did as a teenager.

Maybe I am playing with fire when I push myself to work through a proof into the night.

I am not sure, but i suspect it had something to do with the book i was using.  I was working through a book which highlights the use of the TI-Nspire, and the author skips a great deal of work in his proofs, which causes me to become obsessed with filling in the missing gaps.

I do not like this book.  It could lead some unsuspecting youth to suicide.

I just wanted to make a note, just for the record, that there are times when I can easily become overwhelmed and tired.  In such moments, even though I am 51 years old, I feel the frustration of an infant. 

I wonder how many suicides have frustration as the primary motivator.

I also wonder if my current obsession is multifaceted.  That is, besides my desire to understand more, explore, and build some mathematical skills, I may also be engaged in some kind of personal "psychological experiment" in an attempt to understand my own reaction to TOTAL FRUSTRATION.

Oh, how I pity us all!
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~