Author Topic: The Real Situation  (Read 25830 times)

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Kaspar Hauser

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« Last Edit: July 11, 2020, 02:15:19 am by mic check »
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

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Holden

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Re: The Real Situation
« Reply #31 on: July 11, 2020, 12:43:47 pm »
I hope you are feeling better now. That was a nice song.
La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.

Kaspar Hauser

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Re: The Real Situation
« Reply #32 on: July 11, 2020, 09:06:19 pm »
 Thanks Holden.  Yes, I am  processing the events in my own sweet time, I suppose.   I ate first few cucumbers today, which was special.    The Boomtown Rats song expresses this sense of being under the gaze of human beings constantly - always having to pay defference to the opinions of others.   It is getting on my nerves, to say the very least.

Today I recorded the 1980 John Trudell speech with the hidden track from Queen's "Made in Heaven" work in the background.  I've been lifting my spirits with classics like Rubberband Man, Queen of Hearts, that Giddens song, "At the Purchasers option," and others.   I've been feeling the music intensely, and Trudell's speech from 40 years ago could be applied to our present situation without missing a single beat, except for mention of Ronald Wilson Ray-Gun.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGy7O2x_XYs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOxuRmriR7o&pbjreload=101

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWZL49CizQs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0DK-0fIKCw&list=RDP0DK-0fIKCw&start_radio=1


I am preparing to get back into Analysis and programming, but it is the summer, after all, and the garden is popping.   I constructed a little "meditation mat" in the garden with a rod to assist in standing upright in the summer heat.  When picking up a few clean white crew-neck T-Shirts, I found a "no fly zone" Stetson hat with UV protection and built in tick, mosquito, chigger, etc repellent built in the fabric somehow.

I am flat broke, but bills are paid except for taxes.   I have been experimenting with a chaep pipe, using real pipe tobacco, which is not taxed.  I've also been smoking hand-rolled cigarettes as usual, but with better tobacco, namely, Natural American Spirit (Grown in US edition) ... I've been drinking water, eating water-mellon, and noting that, even though I do go many hours without eating food, when I do eat, my appetite is raving.   I've also been experiencing delusional attractions to a different kind of woman, the homeless and rugged kind.    :-[

When I slip off into LaLa Land, the is a mixture of Rock On with introductory part of Van Halen's FOOLS + last part of D12's LEAVE DAT BOY ALONE:   :-\

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XfmHyG8y-g&list=RDP0DK-0fIKCw&index=3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N51j8pKGS10

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-g4flwXpE8

(I mix them together and let neighbors understand that a peculiar mood is brewing in this man, right here, right now.)

Although the "public defender" [pretender = prosecutor] told me in 2015, "The Van Halen concert is over, Mr. Hentrich,"  I'm not sure she had the authority to make such a proclamation.   ;) :P

After all, Nature still has this renewable quality where It is able to keep that "spirit of the music" flowing (music as World-as-Will ... more earthy than political discourse) ...

 There be many Voodoo Children ...  ;) ... and I kind of prefer my voodoo children rougher around the edges and less polished ... a little sloppy is fine with me ... and no matter who is guitarists, I'm trying to find the drum beat to tap those feet, even if it is just a "walking limp dance" ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lx5Zvi8K1vk

PS:   The vegetables in the garden are having their magical effect on my mom, and there is a chance that our bond may be able to grow/evolve beyond this last snag.   I have noticed Iktome (The Trickster) at work, possibly using envy and malice from others against me.   I will not drag anyone any further into this drama than I have already.   I am walking into the night with my hat hanging on my back, dressed in black, of course.    I've been thinking about Van Gogh and Lovecraft lately, how they died penniless and then were later nearly worshipped by a cult following.     Suddenly, being penniless is almost like a badge of honor.   :D
« Last Edit: July 12, 2020, 10:57:15 am by mic check »
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~

Holden

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Re: The Real Situation
« Reply #33 on: July 12, 2020, 04:10:44 pm »
This actor in the first video  appears to be the one who was featured in The Wall. People around me are very curious about me. They often wonder as to why I am inside all the time,where is the missus,stuff like that.

I just get out when its absolutely necessary. I stay in. Freedom is inside the room.

In Virginia Woolf’s book, Mrs. Dalloway, there is a man who is suffering from shell shock ,he is a world war veteran and often gets flashes of the violent conflict he was involved in. The town psychiatrist chases him around and in the end comes to his house to take him to the mental asylum. The moment the doctor enters his room ,the man jumps out of the window.

People tend to torment the already tormented. Its better to hide in one’s room and stay away from people as much as possible.
« Last Edit: July 12, 2020, 04:12:29 pm by Holden »
La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.

Kaspar Hauser

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Re: The Real Situation
« Reply #34 on: July 14, 2020, 08:58:24 am »
The man you are referring to as an actor, Bob Geldof (Sir Bob Geldof, that is), is actually the leader of a band called the Boomtown Rats.   He is a singer/musician/song-writer who played the role of the grown-up adult "Pink" in the mostly Roger Waters [Pink Floyd] project, The Wall.

Bob Geldof is quite a conscious thinking and coherent human being himself, I imagine.   The Boomtown Rats were an Irish band breaking into the popular culture with I Don't Like Mondays, being inspired by the band hearing about one of the first "mass shootings at a school" while touring in the US of A (on Turtle Island, that is)  ;) ....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcZW0GFLSdw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0JvF9vpqx8&list=RDEMbUu8_HwYfuxrOyZwWZ1-Qg&index=3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQJ_SjMdMq4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myo9wXrNUP4
« Last Edit: July 14, 2020, 09:12:45 am by mic check »
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~

Kaspar Hauser

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« Last Edit: July 20, 2020, 02:25:40 am by mic check »
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~

Kaspar Hauser

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Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~

Kaspar Hauser

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Re: The Real Situation
« Reply #37 on: August 31, 2020, 05:48:41 pm »
I was shocked back in June when my neices were visiting my nephew at my mom's [their grandma's] when I asked if they heard of Annie Lennox and they replied in the negative.   Really?   Can this be true?   They are around 27 years old and both have been groomed to be musicians by my sister.   Heart-breaking stuff.

sorry if personal information is too much for this world ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HG7I4oniOyA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zl005muyttQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8NK70cm-9k

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-Q3cp3cp88

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xi19gH6_waE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZqPoriYXho
« Last Edit: August 31, 2020, 10:50:16 pm by Kaspar Hauser »
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~

Kaspar Hauser

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Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~

Holden

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Re: The Real Situation
« Reply #39 on: September 08, 2020, 12:59:00 pm »
La Tristesse Durera Toujours                                  (The Sadness Lasts Forever ...)
-van Gogh.

Kaspar Hauser

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Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~

Silenus

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Re: The Real Situation
« Reply #41 on: December 12, 2020, 02:54:49 pm »
Hi Hentrich,
  Those videos are real punches to the gut. I can't say that I am any better than those people who don't want relationships. And I have ignored many interactions with the homeless.

  And yet, it is still one of my biggest fears, to end up in that situation. How many others are currently on the brink, given that the mortatoriums for evictions will end for many this month here in the Un-Tied States? Not to mention job loss, inability to pay debt and so on. The Real Situation hasn't even begun yet, economically or socially. Yet, the first person was right: people will use their screens to block the reality of more and more people out on the street. A complete and total Disney-ification for all those who can afford to.

  The pandemic proved just how little mankind is in control, has shown how fragile the systems we invent are and, although it has only bent and not broken, how they are nothing but mutual illusions based on Faith. But how easy it is for that Faith to shatter, or to be double-downed on when the bubble is burst. After all, who would want their good time ruined?

Be safe.

"And the strict master Death bids them dance."

Kaspar Hauser

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Re: The Real Situation
« Reply #42 on: December 13, 2020, 05:31:36 pm »
I pity the folks going without showers or safe shelters (safe from elements and mankind).  It brings me a little shame when I consider all I have access to over the last several years, the expenses (like Internet Service) which two people can more readily afford than one.  I do not take shelter for granted, nor electricity, running water, a kitchen.  It is best not to have to move around and relocate constantly acclimating to strange environments. 

I would not want to become as strong as one is required to become, so I can't allow myself to be too ashamed of my "softness," my "domestication" or "education."

I appreciate access to tobacco and eggs and coffee and bread flour.  Those must be in place first before the study, no matter how small, becomes the Monk's Cell.  Without the kitchen and shower/toilet and office+cot room, were one to have to fight elements and danger 24/7 in illegal animal-mode, the human brain would not have the patience for such delicate or cerebral matters.

I understand Hermann Hesse's character, the Steppenwolf.  He was drawn to lofts in homes of the "upper-middle class".  He would wish to rent a studio apartment above the garage of a relatively wealthy ubergort rather than allow himself to be transformed by the streets ... and the night ...

Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~

Kaspar Hauser

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Re: The Real Situation
« Reply #43 on: December 14, 2020, 03:54:57 am »
I'm not sure if I am making much sense because I am still working through the feelings themselves, always in a state of transformation.  A human animal can not escape relationships.  What I've been doing is allowing myself to see all those who are in some kind of romantic or domestic relationship as dealing with their own internal power struggles.   I've been recognizing patterns of behavior when it comes to "couples" - it is like there is some kind of organic group thinking that takes shape with couples, then families, and possibly entire societies.

This life keeps me second guessing myself, always wondering if I will live long enough to see events play themselves out where the drama of existence makes some kind of sense to me, or if I will just experience a blur of emotions before suddenly being consumed by death's warm embrace.

To the homeless, like the brute, the night may not be the most relaxing time for sleeping.   The Night may keep one on their toes too much.  In our evolutionary past, I suppose there would be those who would remain awake so that others might sleep in peace under their protection.

Possibly some kind of homeless community might bring some communal safety, but the state of the world now, where we are each vulnerable to landing in any one of the terrifying environments called "cities" with no money or identification, this is a nightmare many of us do not have the psychic endurance to suffer without it inflicting long lasting or even permanent trauma.  That is, one could potentially lose all documents and be stranded anywhere.   How to keep one's mind together in such a situation?

I find that such a lifestyle is too trying for me, interacting with different types of people, internalizing the insanity all around us.   My nerves can only stand so much, and I fall to pieces rather rapidly.   

When I am laying on the floor, engrossed in math exercises (practicing mathematics, I suppose I'll call it that), I allow myself momentarily to act as though I have all the time in the world.  Would it be possible to do this even in some kind of homeless community encampment?   There are too much politics in such places.  One requires a private little library and shelves for notebooks.   The personalities and conflicts,  the disputes and chaos of communal living, being drained by the tribe, by the group, the community.   Yes. Silenus, these types of rants are punches to the gut, but they also serve an unexpected purpose:  it almost makes one want to hide even more so.  It makes me want to draw the line somewhere, and say there is a limit to what I will allow myself to endure in this life.

Why would someone bring human life into the world while living homeless in the streets?  (2nd video).  I don't get it. 

I don't know how Holden is able to get right into math exercises in the middle of the night upon awakening, that is, before entering the daily grind.  I deal with emotions and feelings for a good hour before I am calm enough to take a look at some math.   Yes, upon awakening I become filled with uncomfortable feelings:  anger towards someone who may have caused me anguish, confusions and fears, anxiety over the inevitable arrival of some dark mood of anguish and despair. 

It took many years of not giving a fuck about romantic relationships, careers, and social status in general, to reach this state of "grace."   Even if it turns out I am some kind of Trickster Fool like Ignatius Reilly, there is a chance that this is the only way it can be, that is, that I have been born into such a world where I feel a need to mock social norms as a way of challenging hierarchies of social status.

I generally try to be as kind as possible to a human being or any other animal I encounter, be since human beings are quite a burden to themselves, I can understand why anyone in their right mind just wants to get somewhere and lock themselves in.   Human language makes it too easy for us to lie to ourselves about the true and universal nature of this existence.    We can't control how ugly and brutal the nature of existence is.

I do believe that one is better off dead than being forced to acclimate oneself to the nightmare of homeless existence of human animals within modern-day cities.   This world is terrifying.    I'll be the first one to admit that my practice of mathematics is primarily about this daily struggle to insist my animal body is at liberty to rest, reckon, figure, compute, calculate, formulate, derive, etc ...

I acknowledge the postal worker, and often imagine he wonders what the Hell I am ever going to use any of this math for.   He may subconsciously (or even quite consciously) judge me as a dead-beat.  I witness the unpaid hospital bills piling up, same old bills from over the summer.  Maybe I am one of those, like our Holden, who smirks at the thought of our own corpse.   No more trumped-up hospital bills to pay, no more worrying about where to get the money to buy Christmas gifts ... no more math to practice.

When practicing mathematics is your hobby, you don't get too choked up about the thought of not having to face one more day on this earth.  That is when all is well, when the bills are paid and roof over head.   On a bad day, with nowhere to lay head or keep any notes dry ... I've lived that way before, and it drives me to drink in a suicidal manner.  There has to be a way for one to choose death over acclimating oneself to such a life. 

As a youth I would romanticize the thought of living in a tent in the woods, but on the outskirts of town ?  I don't see this as an option anymore.   And yet ... the reality of a crumbling social system ... group homes ... hospital-type apartment complexes for the "disabled" ...

One might be wise to always be prepared to move all books/notes/cot into small storage, and should one be stranded, hope the social services will be available where one might set up some kind of Jail Cell Monk's Study.   There is an ancient archetype of some kind of wandering scholar.   Maybe that spark of interest survives and keeps one from succumbing to alcohol poisoning.

Goddamn razor's edge, it is.
« Last Edit: December 14, 2020, 04:54:35 am by Sticks and Stones »
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~

Kaspar Hauser

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Re: The Real Situation
« Reply #44 on: March 28, 2021, 01:24:41 pm »
Life is moving along like some kind of disasterous Dostoevsky novel ... with a touch of Hesse's The Steppenwolf.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-O2mdDYpPw

Guide Me From My Friends


Jah Jah guide me from my friends cause I know...
I know my enemies...
Everytime I know...
I know my enemies...

They will come and
Sit round your table
Wanting to kill you like
Cain kill Abel

Only trying to find an easy way
That they can try to eliminate you

Jah Jah guide me from my friends cause I know...
I know my enemies...
Everytime I know my enemies...

Anytime you see your friend there
The first thing you see
Is him teeth, yes
But if you could see the inner part
Then we gonna know the sucker have got a wicked heart

May Jah Jah guide me from my friends cause I know, everyday...
I know my enemies...
Said I know my enemies...

Oh Jah Jah guide me from my friends cause I know...
I know my enemies...
Long time I been watching them, I know...
I know my enemies...

Your enemies stay far from you
And they don't...
They don't want to see you
While your friends will come
With a smiling face
And it don't mean another shoe's lace...

So Jah Jah guide me from my friends cause I know my enemies...
Everyday I know...
Oh my enemies...

Jah Jah guide me from my friends...
I know, I know, I know them, I know them...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NX_itOdyCHM

"Dem Ha Fe Get A Beatin"

Due to unfavorable financial condition
I am unable to cope with this financial situation
That is causing inflation upon creation

I can't stand this no longer
The wicked get stronger
I can't stand this no longer
'Cause the battle is getting hotter

[Chorus:]
But them ha fe get a beatin'
The wicked ha fe get a beatin'
Them must get a beatin'
The wicked ha fe get a beatin'

Now that you waited
'Til you back is against the wall
One step to progess my brother
And I know Jah will help you all

[Chorus]

I can't stand this no longer
The wicked get stronger
I can't stand this no longer
'Cause even cockroach get nuffer

[Chorus]

Tell me how long
Must the good suffer for the bad
And every time the good open his mouth
The bad say "You must be mad!"

[Chorus]
I can't stand this no longer

Now that you waited so long
'Til you back is against the wall
If you make one step to progress
I know Jah will help you all

[Chorus]
I can't stand this no longer
The wicked get so strong
I can't stand this no longer
Everything seem to be wrong


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubg534h89sA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBHrKvAYCNg

"I'm The Toughest"


[Chorus:]
Anything you can do
I can do it better
I'm the toughest [2x]
And I can do what you can't do
You'll never try to do what I do
I'm the toughest [2x]

Stop from doing wrongs
Change your foolish plans
Stop from doing wrongs
Just live up like a man

I'm the toughest [2x]

Now my little brothers
You've got to be good
Do what's right
Don't be bad-minded
Just take what's yours
And there'll be no fuss or fight

[Chorus]

Stop from doing wrongs
Change your foolish plan
Stop from doing wrongs
Just live up like a man

I'm the toughest [2x]

Now my brothers
You've got to be good
Just do what you know is right
Don't be bad minded
Just take what's yours
And there'll be no fuss or fight

[Chorus]

I said I love my brothers
I said I love my sisters
I don't covet my neighbour
And I love my neighbour


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPJP0tbhAVQ

"That's What They Will Do"

[Chorus:]
That's what your friends will do
That's what they will do

They will come with great pretense
To gain your confidence
They'll take you round the bend
And fry you in the end

[Chorus]

They will look right inna you eyes
And tell you the wickedest lies
Make you promises
But never accomplishes

[Chorus]

They will dress up inna you clothes
And punch you inna you nose
Dress up inna you shoes
And still carry false news

[Chorus]

They will know that you in jail
And never try to get you bail
And know that you in trouble
And try to make it double

[Chorus]

They will steal you only goat
And then them cutting throat
If you ever robbed
Woulda come back for you car
« Last Edit: March 28, 2021, 10:32:40 pm by Sticks and Stones »
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~