Author Topic: Responses to "the journal of an unstable man"  (Read 695 times)

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Nation of One

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Responses to "the journal of an unstable man"
« on: October 27, 2021, 08:16:51 am »
On the 27th of October, 2021, there was an email to me from The Wayback Machine about a review someone left about something I had uploaded.  It was notebook number 65 from 2001.  I remember that beat up old book I was scribbling in while living near New Brunswick by the university.

In the H Diaries thread, I state that there are only 22 pages:

H-65 (2001) : DIARIUM

 (22 pages: linux biosphere and pointers in C)
     [Forest, a cat with me since 1992, dies]

The review is left at the wayback machine.  It appears to be the only journal Rachel773 read.   She may not have even read all 22 pages.  These were saved for my own use, so that, should I ever wish to go over what it was like to be attending the university, what it was like - as experienced by this here animal presence, then I could juggle my emotional memory.

Reviewer: Rachel773 - - October 26, 2021
Subject: Some weird journal

It's like a journal of an unstable man that just had a mental dump of random on a poor notebook. Then it was digitalized, and now it's here. Some things should not be saved.
_________________________________________________________

How arrogant for a person to make such a call, telling us what is worthy of being saved or not.   Anyone in the world can just come along and poke us with a stick.



« Last Edit: October 27, 2021, 01:11:21 pm by mike »
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~

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Nation of One

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Re: Responses to "the journal of an unstable man"
« Reply #1 on: October 27, 2021, 08:23:24 pm »
On pages 12-13 (of 22 pages) there is an entry about how I had to get my cat, Forest, euthanized.   It does not sound like the words of an unstable man, nor do the "Linux notes" nor the tips on "pointers in C".   

Who is this Rachel, and why would she be so flippant in regard to my heartfelt diary entries?   Why would she show such disdain for even technical clarity?   Maybe she is familiar with the expression, "If it codes, it explodes."  That is the only explanation I can come up with for her instant condemnation of me as "an unstable man" whose notes are not worth being digitized for the future.

I wish I could ask her to please read pages 12 and 13, and tell me that this was not worth saving, for myself, at the very least.

At the end of the day, it is no wonder I just might reach for the cheapest vodka money can buy.



The god's have cursed me with this fate
a broken plate of twelve flat speights
I licked the bad luck off my plate
got struck by lightening, got no mates.
« Last Edit: October 27, 2021, 08:51:35 pm by mike »
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~

Nation of One

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Re: Responses to "the journal of an unstable man"
« Reply #2 on: October 29, 2021, 10:48:00 pm »
They can fuck with us whenever they want, as long as we put up with it - which means, whenever they fucking want.

Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~

Nation of One

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Re: Responses to "the journal of an unstable man"
« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2023, 03:12:41 pm »
TESTING link: 

Works when signed into The Wayback machine:

https://archive.org/details/h792004cat/page/n17/mode/2up

It seems to work without me being signed into archive.org as well.

The particular volume it links to was being scribbled in at the very same building I am dwelling in now [2023], not next door to the library, like in 2014, but down the same road toward the Great Atlantic Ocean - the placed I lived in in 2004 after graduating from the State University, Rutgers, and unable to find any work, ending up homeless and on welfare.

Am I COMING AROUND FULL CIRCLE?   I am not the same shot-out former student, but have matured emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually.

Back then I escaped the circumstances by going into a group home.  Back then the rent was subsidized, so I did not mind the "slummy" aspect of it as much.  Now that I have "social security disability," the landlord takes far too much rent, so I am looking to escape again, nearly twenty years later.  I do not want any part of any group homes, but am determined, instead, to find a room closer to where my mother landed.

 I am back in the same boat, but it is a totally different trip.  Some people get the rooms for little, like I was paying for an entire apartment for years on "Rental Assistance."   Now, for one tiny room, where I use bathroom down hall and have no access to a kitchen or refrigeration, I am paying 3 times what i had been paying for a full apartment with my own bath-tub and kitchen.

So, no - this is not sustainable, especially when I consider the cost of storing my library, notebooks, and computer network each month, since I am not comfortable "moving my stuff" into a room which leads directly to HELL.

The sticky situation now is living in the place anyway, knowing it is a rip-off and possibly staying yet another month simply because I can find nowhere else to go.   I'm trapped!

« Last Edit: July 13, 2023, 03:31:15 pm by Kaspar Hauser »
Things They Will Never Tell YouArthur Schopenhauer has been the most radical and defiant of all troublemakers.

Gorticide @ Nothing that is so, is so DOT edu

~ Tabak und Kaffee Süchtigen ~